Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Ginas Giblets!

Relationships and me!!

Married, long term partner, single debate, these three things have feature greatly during my life, when I'm in one I appear to want something else. Is it because I'm naive, just plain stupid, or still waiting to meet the right man.

I was married for an amazing 3 years,(it was only amazing by the fact that it lasted 3yrs) he's a nice chap but thought I was a crap “housewife”, I managed one day to point out that a housewife usually stays at home all day, looking after her man, the home and at some point a few kids, not working full time and trying and do all those things with no help from him, he was brought up to believe that certain jobs around the house were only done by women.

He also thought the grass was greener and went off with a friend, after the initial hurt, I wished them luck and eventually was very grateful to her for removing him from my life. He still, from time to time phones to check I'm ok, and I can say he would do anything for me if I asked.

Long term partner, I've had two. The first liked all the comforts of being in a relationship but thought more about his mates, golf, snooker, rugby and going to the pub, than he did of me. I put up with this for a staggering 9 years, although I had tried to end it twice during that time, I found it very difficult to cope with the upset I was causing each time we split, so I took the easy option and stayed with him.

One September he went off on his annual golf trip abroad, I was looking forward to a weeks peace and quiet, but during that week I made my decision to end the relationship. On his return I remained focused and told him the moment he arrived home(in reflection that was really cruel, but I was worried I would get cold feet). In the following weeks I discovered from friends that on his return he was going to propose to me. It still amazes me how two people in a relationship can be contemplating such totally different options!

Long term partner number 2. Most of you have lived through this with me, so I will say no more.

Current status-single, and over the last few months I have thought more and more about want I really want, conclusion, I don't have a clue.

Speaking to a variety of friends who I'm sure will not mind me sharing their thoughts, some of them are married and don't want to be, some feel trapped, and surprisingly very lonely, and a couple are still really happy. The question I really want answering is how do people stay married or in a long term relationship and remain happy. How do you keep the spark alive or are you content with the secure, stable, loving environment, but secretly you crave excitement?

Please if you have the answer or just want to share your experiences with me, do.

On a slightly lighter note, can we talk about texting! Is it harmless? I receive text messages most days from a very dear friend. I thought they were harmless and I have to admit they make me feel really good. Today another friend asked me how would the person's wife feel if they knew that their hubby was texting me most days? She know's that it is just a bit of fun and all very innocent, but asked, would they still text me if I was married etc. I now have to admit to feeling a little unsure about the whole thing, but when something makes you feel so good, is it wrong?

That's my off load for this week, and I can't talk responsibility for it being late. I have heard through the grapevine that the Blog Master is tied up this evening!!


Anonymous said...

Oh shit, thought you would not be able to post tonight, did I really write such crap? One bottle of red wine later, I'm now feeling happy and relaxed, why do I get so serious? Love you all Gx

Anonymous said...

The perfect man is gentle
never cruel or mean
he has a beautiful smile
and he keeps his face so clean
The perfect man loves children
and will raise them by your side
he will be a good father
and good husband to his bride
The perfect man loves cooking
cleaning and vaccuuming too
he'll do anything to convey
his feelings of love to you
The perfect man is sweet
writing poetry from your name
he's a best friend to your mother
and kisses away your pain
He has never made you cry
or hurt you in any way......

mcaretaker said...

How do you stay married now that realy is the $64000 question. I can only speak of myself of course so here goes. Trust thats super important and I don't mean the trust when you don't have to wonder if there shaging around, i'm talking about trusting your other half to trust you. It does not have a second shot though once its gone you can never get it back the same so don't blow it. Acceptance don't go into anything thinking you can change someone, people don't change deep down they can bury it alright for a time but it always pops up. Sex and plenty of it (See Dr Sensual for advise)And the last I can't name but its about being lucky to find the right person. If your wondering if you have you probably have not. You don't need to ask that if there right you just know. Hope this helps, it will be a miracle if it does. Ps In my experience Mr or Mrs perfect are never there when your looking for them. So stop looking find a hobby most women tell me shoping is very therapeutic. M

Anonymous said...

Thanks, loved the peom, and liked how honest people can be. Feeling good this morning Gx