Wednesday, September 28, 2005

tie the loose ends tightly...

Well as you can guess our internet time ran out and i am writing this back home in a cold wind forsaken blighty...the memories of the holiday are starting to fade fast so i will update you on a couple of things that were mentioned previously...

Meringue lady and aqua girl became a bit of a damp squib really, it was all to do with a business deal that meringues partner was involved with, setting up an aqua sports booth at one of the new hotels...all pretty disappointing really...

The pasty boys carried on their reckless student behaviour until they flew home after a week looking as pale as when they arrived, god knows how!

Andy and tasha were a lovely couple and carried on hanging around with us and really pissing stalkers off...funniest moment for them was when andy got the squits and a fart turned into a torrent of streaming bottom gunk...he was last seen running clenching to their room to change. They flew home and hopefully we will be in contact with them again.

Serial swimming costume changing german woman carried on doing the same until they went home.

Derek and Pat carried on stalking us like easy prey but we managed to lose them for a day and a half when they went to St Catherines Monastery (which we had done without them!) and then a whole day travelling to Jerusalem. Funniest story that came out of the monastery trip was that Derek had gone for a camel ride and was not holding onto the back of the saddle when the camel stopped and dropped he put it, "I had a hard on and flew into the front post of the saddle and badly bruised my todger with the force"...Pat kept us in stitches that night telling us that she had tried to make a sling for it that would go round his neck to hold it in place...I am sure you can imagine the tears running down our faces, the whole complex got to hear about this and you could hear cries of 'hows your willy' and 'hows your todger' resonate around the place whenever derek and pat were in view. Even on the way home they got some sort of evil revenge...when the coach arrived at the airport we walked in quite a way ahead of them in the ticket queue and were given our seat numbers. We then dissapeared up to the smoking room where they soon followed...we looked at Dereks tickets and somehow they had been given the seats right behind us..for fucks sake how? this really what i had to suffer to get the extra leg room!...Derek made friends with the girl next to him and I could hear him droning all the stories that we had previously heard, i had a little smile on my face as i dozed away...anyway the flight was over, Derek gave me his address and pat hugged us and said 'have a nice life!'...i think that about sums it up.

Lisa and I carry on being friends with a couple of apologies to each other thrown in and hopefully the shores of nuweiba will see us in a years time...God, Allah and George Bush willing...Amen

Monday, September 19, 2005

The adventures of pasty boy...

hi peeps

we decided to go off to the hotels shell disco last night with new friends and walked into something that would have seen joan collins swinging from the roof as in The Stud!....there were four guys and us four so it was really buzzing!...two of the guys came over to us while they were absoulutely pissed out of their faces and one sat with me and tash and said hi I am Dave the other one started to talk to Neil and asked where Neil was from Neil said near Cambridge what about you this guy said Heidelberg in the worst german accent you would ever hear... and Neil told him so too turns out they are from Warrington and were at Lancaster Uni they had been told to come here for a holdiay as there were lots of girls here..... to which I had to reply well if you like club 45 -80 you will be fine. They were very disappointed in the talent that was on offer but I have to say they had 3 days left of the holiday and I have never seen so much white in my life not a tan in site!

Sinister Phone Man was sat next to us today texting and phoning but couldnt hear much of what he was saying as new couple and stalkers all decided to descend into our beach hut at the same time -we all ended up snorkelling together aahh how sweet!!!

Anyway its been so so hot today and we have done absoulutely nothing except drink, drink and drink but hopefully we will have lots of tales of camels and jeep rides and shit when we go off on a crusade to the burning bush tomorrow

I have to go now as Neil has just farted and the smell it is leaving is making me go green lol

See you all soon

Lotsa love
Smelly Neil and Lucious Lisa (who has the most fabby tan ever!)

Sunday, September 18, 2005

sinister events in the gulf of akaba...

hi you fucking gorgeous readers...neil here, with lisa who will comment later...we had an early night last night as lisa wasn't talking to me because i kept inviting swan boy and his companion everywhere with us!...boy she had a right hissy fit, just like me on a good day...

lets tell you about german obsessive compulsive swimwear woman...we have been watching her since we arrived when we are down on the beach and she does this amazing thing that whenever her tushy hits the water as soon as she comes out she has to ritually strip off the moistened bathing suit, wash it under the shower and then replace it with another one and this goes on all fucking incredible!

no news on meringue lady and aqua girl...

lots of new blood turned up today for us to see, pale as husky puppies and just as friendly...have met a lovely couple who we shall call andy and tash as that is their names and think we have upset aforementioned stalkers with our friendliness towards them...i could feel a steely gaze from a couple of hundred yards away as we made our bond stronger...i was invited by stalkers to go and see a coral brain on the reef by the was most interesting but i felt in danger as lisa wasn't near as she 'had a headache'..hmmm

we also have a new sinister phone man who is an oldish boy who sat a couple of beach huts away from us...lisa was talking to me and i told her to shut up as i was listening to his conversation...what he was doing was phoning from a list in a little notebook he had and was talking to women and asking what they wanted in a relationship and going into very graphic detail etc...he was then making notes and crossing off list accordingly...will keep an eye on him and if my names not nancy drew i will call the hardy boys and tell them of my great adventures!

lisas bit...
As all that know Neil will know he is a tempremental bugger but last night he went further than he has ever gone before - we go into the restaurant to have a nice meal and he duly walks to the stalkers table and sits with them i just stood there with the sudden urge to kick him where it hurts but had to smile and sit - and then listen to hours of conversation on area 51 - the inside of their home - their daughter in america and it went on and on how I sat there a stones throw from Neil and did not stab him with my fork I really dont know and then he has the cheek to say that I was the rude one for not wanting to sit with them - Please can someone tell Neil about wanting space and time alone lol
Anyway I got my revenge and did not go down to see the coral today I just laid on the beach and enjoyed being at one with my book and my thoughts.
Still while seated alone I got chatting with the couple across from me and have arranged a secret trip out without the stalkers for Neil and I to St Catherines Monastary which is something to do with Moses and the burning bush and apparently you get there by jeep and then camel the thought of Neil on a camel amused me lol especially when the lady who we are going with said they went last year and her husbands camel collapsed (its big end went mmmmmmm revenge is sweet!)
I am now talking to Neil as he promised me that I could sit with him alone tonight lol and in fear of his life he will perform accordingly ( I also have the key to the room!)

So until we meet again
N and L signing offf xxxxxxx

Saturday, September 17, 2005

The strange case of meringue woman and aqua girl...

something is rotten in denmark methinks, or so our wonderful bard once told us...there is something sinister going on between a nouveau riche couple and the lady who runs the water sports section...don't really know any more at the moment but its fantastic watching the furtive glances and the conversations that they have to have with each other away from their partners....more on that later...

carrying on from last night we went off to the lovely italian restaurant and were about to be seated by our lovely blue eyed boy ali when we heard the knife wielding noise of "cooee" from the two bunny boilers...yes derek and pat had saved us a seat and our evening of being stalkees began...Derek then proceeded to turn his camera on proudly, after explaining about the bedclothes being made into different shapes by the room boy, and jollily announcing, "look, here's a picture of me naked with a swan between my legs"...lisas face was a picture and i nearly spewed beer through my nose...i am hoping to re-enact the portrait to post on the blog at a later point. Lisa has to stop laughing first...

Last night at the pool bar I have never seen such a depressing sight as a few middle aged british motherfuckers made complete cunts of themselves trying to sing and dance with the belly dancers...really the hotel is quite high class and did not deserve to be treated in such a wheeltappers and shunters way!...bastards

Today we went off in an air conditioned taxi, arranged by our now friendly stalkers to a local bedouin market which was really fabby, the highlight was when derek swallowed water the wrong way and ended up gushing out of mouth and nose, quite spectacular indeed...i bought two lovely silver rings and after vast and much much encouragement lisa too opened her wallet to buy some trinkets and a rug....god knows how the rug will get home as the suitcase was full when she got here...saw camels eating cardboard boxes along the roadside, quaint and amusing...

Petrol ...10 pence a litre...anyone want a gallon bought back?

Hello peeps well not left to say Neil has had the monopoly tonight we nearly fell out at breakfast this morning when we went down to the beach as our friendly guy had left our towels at our hut and I saw 4 sun loungers laid out and thought Neil had invited mack and mabel to join us in the sun too - I mean I dont mind getting my baps out in front of Neil but after seeing the disturbning photo last night god only knows what pics he may take while I am snoozing (neil is convinced they are the oldest swingers in town - but I think she has sussed that Neil may not be my husband/boyfriend and keeps slipping in losts of gay banter)

Well we are off to see if we can avoid them tonight only because we owe them money lol - fat chance of that they seem to know our every move
Oh one last thing to note Neil left the beach early (deli belly I think judging by the smell in the room when I got back!) so missed the turtle that was swimming in the sea not yards from where Neil had been snorkelling earlier good job really not sure what the turtle would have made of seeing Neil lying horizontal in the water like some killer whale!

more soon lotsa love
N and L xxxx

Friday, September 16, 2005

went t'egypt through t'internet....

Well here we are again another day gone on this holiday and more stories to tell last night we had a most beautiful banquet of egyptian food and it was lovely Neil managed to eat more than me for once lol (not a mean feat I can tell you although for a diabetic the notion of not eating sugery things is lost on Neil he just eats anything that has sugar or sweet in the title! and then gives himself an extra shot of insulin to tide him over I am expecting him to be in a coma by the end of the week and have lined up a nice new slimline egyptian model to help me out next week with anything I desire lol

hi...its me here i shot a load of white stuff over lisa just for fun and she was very disheartened when she found out i had found her sunscreen! lol...also on my adventures i fed a multidude of fish with a secreted bun that i took from the restaurant...i really felt like jesus of the fish world!...they were snapping it out of my hand, big ones and little ones (technical terminology not available but they all had scales and smiles on their mouths...
On with the we were having a lovely breakfast and i went over to the hot counter to load my plate and lo and behold when i returned to the table bonnie and clyde were there waiting!...we managed to shake them off on the beach and for lunch but caught up with them in the afternoon when we were asked to go and watch pat take part in the belly dancing (dear god, please don't ever let me end up partaking in anything like that, i don't care if my trousers do fall down when i'm drunk but i ai'nt doing that!)

Please forgive lisas punctuation but she obviously hasn't read "eats shoots and leaves"....more soon
love N and L xxx

Who needs punctuation and grammer when you type on a computer and you have spellcheck and other wonderful programs to do that for you except on this bloody blog which has none lol nighty nighty off to see where bonnie and clyde are hiding in wait for us.......xx

Thursday, September 15, 2005

back to bedlam

As you see todays blog is named after the lovely james blunt album but if i hear this record one more fucking time i will toss lisa into the sea and follow her swiftly. The beach bar seems to only have the two cds this year, the aforementioned album and a lovely little groover by 50 cent who keeps asking to visit a girls candy store and lisa had to explain this one to me.

Today i learned to snorkel....and guess who taught me, our very own lisa...i thought she was only into muff diving but this was another type of diving that she seemed to know a lot about!...there i was with my head in my mask sucking it airtight with my nose and away i went to be at one with zillions of fish breathing like orca on heat from the snorkel provided....really though it was amazing to see all the fish that had been swimming round my bits without knowing anything about it....heres lisa...

can I just state on the record I have never been muff diving in my life and will not be trying it in the near distant future unless I am on copious amounts of drugs and alcohol and asleep! Neil on the otherhand has tried this out at an early age and said it was nothing like a candy store more like a fish buffet!!!!! lol

Anyway its nice to think that I can still impress a queen with my knowledge of snorkelling and the idea of sucking and not blowing appealed to Neils nature a lot... anyway we are off to see some guys swirling skirts tonight and our stalkers are joining us incase you wondered where they are so far we know the ins and outs of Peckham, Tescos, Car-Jacking, they have friends who are ten million lottery winners (mmmm I am sure I saw this episode in Only Fools and Horses lol) the funniest thing about these millionaires is that they brought a fabulous mansion and had lots of really expensive cars on the driveway and a huge wine cellar filled with liebfraumilch (dear god how tasteless...blogmaster) and beer!!!!! oh how the other half live!

all for now
N and L xx

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

can you hear me now?...

here we are again and weather is really fabby...that will eventually get boring so i wont mention that again! lol....saw two camels today, that was the highlight really...apart from the fact that lisa has attracted two mad people from leighton orient who are residents in the making...they are nice really and she is quite amazing as she works in tescos and can tell without looking what sort of person is at the checkout by the items that they have got in their trolley!...apparently gay guys have aesthetically pleasing items as they look good lying in the fridge even if they don't eat them...asian people buy a lot of carnation milk and west indians buy a lot of soap!...whatever that may mean! lol (that is in no way meant to sound rascist btw)

Hi Lisa here can I just say it was not me who invited the couple to come and join us but Neil he obviously saw residents in the making and thought he could sell them his tower block! But suffice to say that everytime we venture anywhere they seem to be there like a couple of stalkers! but they aare a nice couple and I know all about motorbiking and HGV drivers and the manufacturing of bread from start to finish.

Neil had been telling me lots of stories Gina that I could not possibly put on the blog but please feel free to ask me when I get back about radio tuning and the visually imparied or should I say blind! enough said that will get the juices flowing lol

Well I better go now as Neil is worried about what I might type next so ciao until the next time Lisa xxx

PS...have tried to sell lisa for a couple of camels but the egyptians felt that the poundage was too vast for the exchange rate you all
N xx

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Neil and Lisa...Live from Egypt!

Hello all
well suprise suprise...we have an internet cafe thingy at the hotel!
Hi Lisa here, can I tell an amusing thing that happened at the airport, before all you non-smokers recoil Neil brought 200 menthol cigerettes to enjoy on his trip and then gets one pack out at the airport and decides to leave the other 180 in the bar for all the other smokers to share while he is away lol - I did offer to go and get them(after about half an hour of sitting there laughing) but we had to board the plane so he has a packet of 20 here that cost him 23 pounds lol.

well...i am enjoying my cigarettes at 1.10 each! and will savour them immensely. We arrived okay with no traumas really apart from when we got to our luxurious suite I had a bit of a hissy fit because the fridge wasn't working and my insulin was in danger of going i phoned reception and he asked if he could send an engineer in the morning to which i exploded "I only want a fridge that works , is that too much too ask"(nothing worse than a queen in full flow!)

We have had a hectic morning and afternoon laying on sun loungers watching the world and his wife go by. Some sights have been nice to look at some have been horrific and the swimwear of elderly men is not a sight to behold.

We have just had a lovely italian dinner and before that lisa was stooped over in the bathroom picking up 300 slenda sweeteners that i conveniently dropped on the floor...I hasten to add that i will not be using these!

well we are now off to the bar for an evening of rum and coke and camp singing by a very sweet man...all for you lots
Neil and Lisa xx

PS more updates will appear as we have paid 8 pounds for three hours of interneting so we are going to use it all up in the seven fucking days that we have!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

to lily the Pink...floyd

The rain was pouring down, the thunder and lightening was awesome and Neil and myself were sheltering under a canopy looking like a couple of bouncers on a nightclub door, We were waiting for our driver, the ever punctual lisa, to take us to the corn exchange where we were going to see Off the Wall a Pink Floyd tribute band Neil phoned lisa to find out where she was but got no reply, I said "we could have been there by now" Neil said "she is probably asleep" (I hasten to add that my comment was said in a jovial fashion whereas Steve was being mean and spiteful lol...blogmaster) then all of a sudden our spirits were lifted as our white chariot arrived just in time and blasting out some quality heavy metal sounds. when we got into town we decided to go for a drink so we went to the square where all the drinks were £1.50 Neil and I were nearly taken to casualty suffering from shock as Lisa decided she would buy a round!!!!! but after a few sips of stella artois we were fine.

We entered the corn exchange and made our way to the front row then the rest of the gang arrived Matthew ,Marie, Oliver, Alice and Alan, lisa and i went to the bar to get some drinks as we were queuing we swiped a programme that was left on the shelf and had great fun watching the attendant lady asking people if they had paid for their programme cos she had loads missing (should not leave things unattended) she did not ask us cos lisa had hidden hers under her top.

The house lights dimmed and the band arrived on stage to a ripple of applause, we had done a mini sweep on what the first song would be, this was won by neil as he chose "shine on you crazy diamond", which was performed perfectly, the sound throughout the concert was fantastic along with the lighting and visual images it really was floyd without the pink, they ran through all the more famous tracks such as money, wish you were here, comfortably numb, learning to fly, another brick in the wall, one of these days and run like hell they also did a couple of early tracks from the psychadelic era, Arnold lane and the other escapes me at this time,
At the interval i overheard a conversation between a avid pink floyd fan who said he had seen the real floyd 32 times and another fan (who looked scarily like cat weazel) cat weazel was saying how good the show was but the other guy diagreed saying that the band were crap and were not as good as the real floyd, i said well they aren't the real floyd they are a tribute band and come on it was only £17.00 to get in well worth the money in my opinion, he said we will see in the next half of the show.

Did anyone else think the female vocalist might have been lip synching on the great gig in the sky? (No !...she was awesome click on the link here, this is actually stella fairhead singing live at the gig)

at the end of the show the band got a standing ovation, well deserved in my opinion and would go to see them again if i had the oppertunity. when we got outside i spotted the avid floyd fan and said thats him who was slagging the band off at wich he said first half they were crap but were awesome in the second, glad to hear he came to his senses
all in all a great night out with great company and i cant wait for the next one..............................

see you steve.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Bless him!

Just in case....a goodbye letter...

hi time is here and myself and lisa are flying off to sunny egypt/israel on Sunday. Everything will be fine but i thought i'd like to take an opportunity to write a goodbye letter as you never know what is going to happen in these grey here it is...

First of all and most of all I would like to thank my parents for putting up with all the shit that i have thrown at them for the last 42 years, they have been magnificent, understanding, loving and overall the best people i have known on the planet. I'd like to thank all the teachers and mentors that have taught me about living life throughout the years, good times and bad times. I'd like to thank all the friends I have made in countries and counties previous to Bedfordshire, especially Terri who still keeps me on the straight and narrow whenever i speak to her. I'm sorry I can't remember any of your names now but i do have a slight problem with memory storage ! anyway you probably don't remember me either.

I want to thank and send love to all of the guys and gals from Bedfordshire, this is the strongest bond of friendship I have ever felt, especially Martin, Steve, the two M's and of course my special angel Lisa who takes me to highs and lows that i could have only previously dreamed about! When I was a little boy I dreamed of a lady that would take me away to a far off land where everything would be good and nice all the time...I think i found her...

Gina is another person that makes me laugh and feel good about being around, it's nice to get compliments about yourself and Gina always notices little things that I do, whatever they may be. respect girlfriend!

Thats it really...I wish at this point that I could say goodbye to a partner or lover but it didn't happen for me...but it's okay, it was meant to be.

It's been quite hard writing this but I feel that its important because as i said earlier, you never know what is going to happen...

Neil x

Thursday, September 08, 2005

A short history lesson....

You know I was watching television the other day and a program came on about the problems that are occurring in the Middle East. All that stuff about why Osama bin liner is waging a war along with others against the west. Now I am pretty clued up on most thinks but the whole Middle East think does my head in. But right at the start of this program a man gave a very concise and simple statement that sums it up and for the first time I now understand some of what is going on. So as I am sure I am not the only one I thought I better pass it on and it goes something like this.

Since the end of the first world war when the Ottoman Empire (please see map) was carved up because it sided with the losers. (The west divided up the area into countries like Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan. This division was done without any consultation and cut across age old historic boarders and religious communities.)Any way to continue. The west has treated the Middle East like a series of giant petrol stations since. And the west’s only interest being that the price be kept low and that they are nice to the Jews.(who have been booted around since time began) The west then just let everything go on in the background. I.e. all the hatred that has built up since the split has been boiling away. And now it’s come back to bite us on the arse. The Ottoman Empire was only split because we saw the potential value in it, and we wanted friendly pro west people in charge. There history lesson over, it just goes to show that short sighted solutions are a false economy.

Anyway what the hell is going on over in the USA. Down in the Deep South in a little place called New Orleans they have got in a bit of bother with a hurricane. The pictures are very distressing and everybody agrees its one hell of a mess. Now I know that after a short break of about five days the Americans have pulled there finger out and started to do something. But what the fuck happened in those five or so days. The Americans really got caught with there fingers up there arses. There initial response was more like that of a Third world country not a First world one sorry “the” First world country. For the second time in not to long the great American confidence machine has taken one hell of a knocking. I suspect that questions will be asked for many years to come.
This will be the last blog from me for a couple of weeks as I am off on holiday. I am doing a tour of what is called the “golden triangle” in America. Basically Fly to LA pick up a car and drive to Las Vegas via the Grand Canyon. Then back to San Francisco and down the coast to Carmel and then La again and fly out. This takes about two weeks and will probably give me enough stories to fill the next few blogs on my return. I have half a mind to keep some sort of journal whilst out there. All of course accompanied by my photos on flickr. See you all soon

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

with a thong in my heart...

Great night in the pub as usual on Friday, still not sure how we came to talk about my underwear, but true to form, I had to explain the black and white theme(for those of you who maybe slightly interested, I can't mix my undies, they have to be all black, or all white and very rarely will I wear other colours or anything with a pattern on it). Also I feel the need to set the record straight, recent course of antibiotics were prescribed for my infected foot, not for any other reason. If you care to read previous blogs I have occasionally mentioned condoms and the need to check they are still in date before they are required, I know they can often ruin the moment, but I would rather have a ruined moment than something that requires antibiotics!

I had an unexpected night off on Saturday(7yr old spent two nights with daddy), so I thought I would use my time wisely and check-out other blogs. Most are talking about the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, and some clearly are not! I was surprised to see a fairly even mix of sex and religion, but struggled to find any "normal" stuff. Some sites looked promising until I started to read them, they are clearly created by younger people who seem to have lost the ability to type English, and I really struggle to read and work out the meanings of these one/two character words. One site I stumbled on had some fab photo's on it and I thought it was worth a mention, so if you want to "explore the sensual contours of earths body" please go to I will be looking for reproductions on flickr, although Neil has already come close once or twice. Other sites claiming to contain "nature" were pictures of peoples pubic hair, not very attractive as they had recently shaved and were full of blemishes. Yuck!

Later on Saturday night I was introduced to a new drink, I'm not a lover of these bottles of vodka based alcoh pops but this one is certainly worth a mention. It's called WKD original vodka blue. It smells and tastes like dandelion and burdock(I'm sure most of you can remember this from your childhood), and is a subtle shade of blue. Like most of these drinks it slips down very easily, and if you add a shot of port to it, it really is fab. Do you think they sell it in the pub?

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned I had received some really good news. I can now tell you that I have a new job(still waiting to find out my new job title and final details). I will still be working in the same office, and managing the team, but I will now be doing other stuff which will include lots of research and client consultation. I'm really excited as maybe after 16yrs it's time for a change.


Tuesday, September 06, 2005

lisa lisa lisa!

Hello all
Well tonight blog is going to be short tonight as I am in holiday mode now and I just thought I would give you some fun things to pass the time of day

By the time you read this you will no doubt be looking through your wardrobe and looking for your school uniform (in-house joke) oh what we will have running around a field playing games lol not

Still it’s a nice way to catch up with people you don’t get to see every day but I will be glad when its finished and we can get down to watch England scrape through again lol – after there appalling performance against Wales

On a lighter note check out Job its great fun put your name in and see what ideal job you should be doing we had a chuckle in the office at some of the ideal jobs we should be doing

Mine are
Lisa – President
Lisa-Marie – Bungee Jumper Tester
Lisa + last name – Superhero

I am in the wrong job

Neil I did yours for a laugh and you should be
Neil – Soap Actor (I will say no more but drama queen is your middle name! Xxxx
Neil + last name – Lottery Winner no need to work

Some of the ideal jobs in our office ranged from emperor of the world to suicide bomber!

One more thing that kept our office amused was that one of our team has a phobia about tortoises! The mind boggles its not like they can run up quickly and say BOO more like a slow crawl so it got me thinking what phobias we all have answers on a postcard please to:

Lisa on the beach
Somewhere near the Red Sea
Alcoholic drink in hand enjoying the view

This is the fairy tale that we should have been reading as little girls!

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issueson the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.One kiss from you, however, and I will turn backinto the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marryand set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. That night, as the princess dined sumptuouslyon lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wineand onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't fucking think so.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd...oh no, that was Austria!...heres Prague pt 2

Ok part two of the Prague adventure. As you will remember we left our hero’s about to venture out into the wilds of the former iron curtain city.
11am and refreshed we all meet up downstairs and decide on a plan of action. The map brigade are already unpacking there arsenal of guides maps more guides and bigger maps. Martin and I are thinking about food and in particular chocolate cake a delicacy in these parts. We leave the hotel and turn right, Annie in front with guide and map. Marie along side pointing out what’s what and filling the air with descriptions of historical interest. Martin and I bring up the rear feeling like we are there to make up the numbers. This is defiantly a Taylor girl’s do. All Annie needs is on of those umbrellas held up for the tour party to follow.

Actually I must stop this right now. I am making the trip sound like a nightmare. Let me just say it was not. Prague is truly beautiful the company was great, we all get on very well and never argue about anything. I just think that lack of sleep and too much caffeine to keep me awake have affected my senses at the time. The architecture is fantastic and depending on where you are in the city has little bits of French, Italian, and Russian. Not surprising since all three have had control over the place at some point. The other overriding sense you get is Art Nuevo/ Deco there are some fantastic examples of the movement on lots of buildings which have great interiors that if in the west would be monuments to the work of their creators.

The other thing that surprised me was money. Not the currency be the fact that there is obviously lots of it about. I was expecting a former iron curtain country to look like some of the old films you see. But no there is lots of money around. The shops have more expensive jewels and there more brand new expensive cars around on the streets than you get in the west end of London. But like lots of continental cities there is a great use of space. Lots and lots of communal parks and the river banks are crammed with shops and café’s. Talking of food there are more places to eat than I have seen in a long time. Not only are the eateries plentiful but there good quality as well. There are of course the usual Mcshit fast food outlets but honestly there is no excuse to go within a million miles of one. Good home cooked food was around the corner at every turn. And I should know when you go on holiday with a highly talented and travelled chef you tend to find the nicest food. Beer what can I say there is lots of it. The national drink is beer and there are some fantastic and strong brews available where ever you go. Pilsner was invented hear and is sometimes drunk before breakfast or on the way to work. Now that’s what I call living.

Apartments also feature in Prague, in the same way that Paris has apartment living. This is one of the reasons that there is so much space in the city for parks and other communal spaces. It’s only in Britain that we have this must have a home with its own piece of land mentality. I liked Prague and its people. Well I say people but I have never been to a place with so many tourists. On any street at any time you could hear twenty different languages. Did I like it yes, will I go back? Someday. Would I recommend it as a holiday destination? Without question. Until next week.