Tuesday, May 31, 2005

oh the wonderful world of vinyl! Posted by Hello

Lisa's Lounge pant tribute...

Heres Lisa...I know it doesn't actually mention lounge pants but they haven't been mentioned for a while so it was a bit of gratuitous lounge panting...

Another Week – Another Blog

I can’t believe another week has gone flying by and I am writing another note on the blog – so I thought I would tell you about my bank holiday weekend……………..

It started well on Friday with a fantastic night in the Wellie I arrived later than normal due to work commitments with the expectation of meeting Neil and Steve but was pleasantly surprised to see Martin, Lynne and Gina also there. I was waiting at the bar getting a round in (a round I hear you all cry – yes a round lol) when I was tapped on the arm by none other than Lyn who had popped in to say hello with her husband Bob. It was a really good night and conversation was both stimulating and raucous too. I saw text messages that would make a grown man blush (thanks Martin lol) but that’s another story!

Saturday Night well the least said about it the better but I just want to thank Gina for all her help x

I had a lovely Sunday though spent the morning in bed watching the Grand Prix its so nice to see other drivers win it did get a bit monotonous with Schumacher winning all the time I haven’t really got a favourite team but like to see the English guys doing well but felt sorry for David Coulthard when he had to do the drive through penalty when he was in a podium position, it would be nice for him to get something its been a while. Anyway I had a lovely text from Neil inviting me round for the evening, I couldn’t resist and what a lovely evening I had Neil had some of his 45 singles out and was playing singles I had not heard for eons, it was great to sit back and reminisce and every few songs Neil shouting joyfully as he finds a set list written by Danielle Dax and a postcard from Frank Sidebottom but the thing that got me was and I know the majority of you will nod your head and agree when you were in your teens writing your name on the sleeve of the single it did make me smile as there on a record sleeve in Neil’s bestest hand writing when he was in his teens was his name and I have to say his writing hasn’t changed much really still messy and scrawly! (I actually wrote those when i was about 9 or 10!) But it was fun every once in a while Neil telling me that this single is worth a fortune because it was the first single by this band or the last single or on one label before they moved, it was fascinating listening to Neil he is very knowledgeable about music.(Oh stop all this feint praise, I'm embarrassed now! lol) I have to say some of the singles hadn’t dated at all but others were tinny and hardly punkish at all but in their day well that’s another story. It was great to hear X-ray Spex – Germ Free Adolescent who can remember other classics from this one album band including `oh bondage up yours…` having listened to them now they hardly seem punkish at all. It was great to reminisce.
Then its back to reality when Big Brother comes on C4 well this looks like it could be a good one this year although the jury is still out. There are some great over the top characters in there and I can see why they were possibly chosen but cant say I have got a fav at the moment but Lesley the least said the better!

I just have one more thing to say about Sunday Night I am surprised Neil did not have the worst hangover on Monday he had some Italian wine that a friend had given to him, it was the biggest bottle I had ever seen and Neil had managed to drink a good three quarters of it on his own! (It's a 5 litre bottle a friend bought me back from Italy and I drank about a litre of it!) I would have been comatosed lol.

Monday was a nice day I had to work the night shift but up until then I had a good day I had a bit of a life laundry and decided to go through cupboards and drawers and getting rid of junk basically, it was very hard to do as every time I put something in the box to send to the Charity box I had to remove 5 minutes later `just in case` I might need it –(I mean I didn’t need it for the bloody year it had been in the cupboard) lol oh well maybe next year it will stay in the box

Oh well I think I may have bored you enough to stop


Monday, May 30, 2005

Bank Holiday

No Blog today folks due to Bank Holiday frivolities..happy Labor day to our American friends...normal service will be resumed tomorrow...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

1st report! Posted by Hello

Big Bastards...aka Big Brother

Well, its started then...at the moment the house is full of 13 wannabes all vying for the slightest bit of attention except Derek who is wandering in a world of his own like every tory arselicker should!

Not a lot has happened in the first day and a half although there have been a couple of minor rucks about lights in the bedroom and scientist wanting to cook a whole chicken so he could have one drumstick! On telly this morning Anthony had morning glory and was see to be massaging it slightly, sorry girls but thats been the only hot boy action!...apart from a couple of arses under the outdoor shower!

Anthony with a 'th' is probably the most attractive guy in there but i think his opionated ego will let him down and the public will soon get fed up of him, but on the other hand he may calm down and lie around oiled and sensual.

Craig is just a vindictive little bitch, sort of a 'marco' without the seal clapping...I have tired of mincing little queens in the past and this one looks like he is going the same way.

Lesley...now what a glorious example of a thick northern english slapper she is...an absolutely attrocious girl whom i love to bits, she will be getting her tits out as soon as the camera is on her...expect her to walk around nude by the end of week 2.

Kemal...i reserve judgement until a later time...but, annoying at first (why can't they have a normal gay guy in there!)

Makosi, bless her, may think she's an African princess but she has the mentality of an elephants dung pile...she just didn't get the task she was set until BB had to explain it to her twice more....she did look stunning on entering the house...it made me want to stand in the middle of the room singing 'shaft' wearing dark glasses.

Scary Mary is brilliant...my god, have you seen the veins on her legs when the night vision camera is on, thats more scary than anything...her eyes are amazing and i nominate her as person most likely to have a nervous breakdown!...oh and what about showering in that full length dress, that was hysterical!

The rest of them are just a bit dull really, Maxwell may be good to laugh at but really the others so far have not attracted any attention from me at all...

Oh well the fun all starts here and you will be informed of any major events!


Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowances for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies;
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it in one turn of pitch - and - toss,
And lose and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart, and nerve, and sinew
To serve your turn long after these are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with kings - nor lose your common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count on you, but none too much;
If you can fill an unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth distance run,
Yours is the earth and all that's in it.
And -which is more - you'll be a man, my son.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Where the drowning nearly happened... Posted by Hello

Steve's story...the next bit!

we arrived in Milan and headed for number 7 Via Alquino, Where our family friends Franco, Rita and their son Biaggio lived, we freshened up and then went to franco's bar, the Stalingrado a few hundred yards down the road where lots of pasta was eaten along with loads of wine and beer. the next day was taken up with sight seeing first it was the duomo {cathedral) outside of which i found 10,000 lire about £12.00 in our money, i've always said that it was a gift from God, everyone said i was the jammiest so an so but i didn't care a bit, the inside of the duomo is absolutely breathtaking, they have a sundial on the floor lined up with a hole in the roof it was fascinating watching the beam of sunlight move across the floor as time went by,we also took the tour of the cathedral roof i felt a bit queezy outside as i am not too good with heights but the views of the city were magnificent .

we left milan after four days and set off on the return journey home, dad had emptied the fresh water barrel in the caravanette and filled it with red wine!! so we had to buy bottled water for the way home we took in the rhine valley in germany on the way home stopping at a place called heidelburg very nice town with a big castle over looking the town square, i remember lots of people dancing dressed in leiderhosen the music was very suspect and loud i think its called umpa music (actually, the terminology is 'Schlager'...ed) or something.
Back at the campsite it was time for bed we were all a little tipsey having drunk at least a pint of german lager and things were getting silly, tony and me sneaked out for a crafty fag to the shower block and pinched all the plugs from the sinks and baths, great stuff ..then graham went to the loo and we hid his air bed and sleeping bag oh how we laughed!.that rounds off the holiday tale.

When we got back to Ulverston i decided to spend some time at my nans house rather than go home to my mums there was still two or three weeks school holiday left so i decided to make the most of it, we had quite a large gang of friends at this point in time they included some characters like Barry Simpson whose older brother was leader of the local hells angel chapter, Graham Hill who was obsessed with the occult and the paranormal, Shaun Eccles local thug, Robin Chadwick Local Bully and cat burglar, Andy Steele and Alan Lindsey the last two fellas saved my life when i almost drowned in the local canal, it was a very hot day and we decided to go swimming all day down the canal there was a pub at either end of the canal so refreshment was never far away, we decided to climb on to the railway bridge and jump into the canal which we did with no problem it was a fantastic day and we all had great fun at the end of the day we were walking back up the towpath and decided it would be quicker to swim across the basin than to walk around, Tony, Graham and the others walked around while Andy, Alan and myself decided to swim it Alan and Andy made across but i got really tired and my legs felt like lead and i said "help me lads i'm knackered" and with that i went under, it is a really wierd feeling almost drowning its almost comfortable in a strange sort of way and i don't know why but i felt safe, perhaps my mind had remembered being in the womb or something you know surrounded by water, suddenly i feel someones hand grab my long hair and then another grabbed my arm the next thing i know i am lying on the towpath exhausted i will always be grateful to these two lads cos i dont think i would be here now otherwise, god we got into some scrapes.

Now, you have met most of the lads let introduce you to the female element of our collective,first there was Marie she was a fiesty lass she was scottish and also my cousin Tony's girlfriend, then there was Marie's friend Heather an absolute stunner,then my girl at the time was Alison a very buxom dark haired beauty, then came along the hard bitches Nettie, Tracie, Theresa and her sister Diane and finally the posh birds helen and sister kelly, we all hung around together in a big gang in a part of town called the honey pot you know the sort of area i mean, its a bit like where i am living now, but it was full of hells angels with big motorcycles and as we were all into the heavy metal music scene of the time they seemed to accept us walking around there patch dressed in a similar way to them thats how i got into motor bikes really they would take us out for rides on tier bikes it was great. one night barry's brother invited us to a beach party at a place called triddley next to the railway viaduct we all said yes but would have to ask permission which i did not get but devious as i am i told a few white lies and low and behold we were going to the beach party YES!!!

when Alison and i got there, there was loads of people and the party was in full swing we soon drank the two bottles of cider we had stole from the off liscence and were really into the atmosphere the sea air, sound s of the waves crashing, the massive bonfire made out of railway sleepers it was just amazing.

Alison and i were sat just out of the light of the fire talking about stuff and we decided to go for a walk down to the sea ( if you ever get chance to see the tides turn in an estuary take it) the tide was coming in and the water was eroding the sandbanks just to see huge walls of sand crash into the sea by moonlight is just awesome, this night was special for another reason which you probably gather involves sex and it was outside god it was fantastic and also my first time, we were 14 years old and on another planet.............
that it for now see you next week steve.

Friday, May 27, 2005

tonight...the madness all begins again... Posted by Hello

Friday, a rest day?

Hi all...just to let you know that there is no blog today as there will be a special Bank Holiday Sunday Big Brother edition going ahead. I will be analysing the housemates and trying to keep up with the gossip, however smutty!

wether this is true or not i don't know, but tonight there are 13 people who think they are going into the house or actually will go into the house...and then 1 person will be told thay can stay and another 12 people will replace the ones who thought they were in!...how radical is that!...we will have to wait and see....see you in the pub!


Thursday, May 26, 2005

Magnificent Matt's marauding mind...

As I sit here in my jog pants (“with” its early) I am looking out of the window at the back of a school. For those of you who don’t know I live in the leafy Edwardian suburb of Bedford. Bedford if you don’t know is a small market town in the south midlands /Home Counties of the U.K. For those Americans who sometimes drop in to read we are that small country across the water to the right of you on the map. To anyone else we are that small blob on the map that still thinks it important enough to use the word great in it’s title. Now where was I oh yes looking at the school.

As I look out of the window I can see the back gate set into a substantial brick wall. The building itself was built in 1912 and has pitched roofs and large windows. The whole thing has the air of a nice traditional community school. The teachers seem informed and dedicated. And the school has a very active PTA who spend weekends organising Summer Fairs and Barn Dances to give their children all the little thing that are missing from the National Curriculum. The kids all ware a nice blue uniform and are in the main well spoken and polite when you meet them. Its a million miles away from poverty, depravity, and inner city slums as you can get. It is too all-intense the perfect example of a middle class school in a middle class, part of Blair’s modern Britain. So what’s the problem I hear you ask and why do we have to read this advert for the middle England iddle.

Well the answer to your question is, actually I don’t know what to call it. You see in my youth (Yep I had one and its now disappearing fast into the rear view mirror of my life.) I walked to school and so did all the other children. Then when I got bigger and went off to the secondary school of my choice I got on my bike. Four miles each way regardless of the weather.(Yes I can hear the violins playing too. Fuck off you gits.) If it rained I got wet. If I got a puncture and I did not have time to fix it. I had to leave home earlier and walk. And do you know what it was fun. A great big part of my growing up was done with my friend on the way to and from school. I learn to smoke, bought bangers and let them off, first saw what girls had that boys didn’t, made camps in woods etc etc. My point is that without all this time to have fun discover the world and get into scrapes. And get out of them I probably would have grown up a much different person. There are lots of social skills that you only learn on your own with your mates. And without Mummy or Daddy to tell you what to do you tend to learn the hard way. There are some vital social skills that some of today’s little darlings are going to be lacking. Its like the old adage about the driving test, you only start to learn to drive when you have passed your test and are out on your own for the first time. Same if you’re a child. You need to be allowed to grow up.

There are children going to the school opposite who are ferried to school and back by Mummy in her big 4x4 who live at the end of the road. That’s about two minuets walk away. And when Mummy does bring them to school they have to walk up to the class room door. The poor little sods can’t even walk the few yards to the door on their own. No wonder the world is getting fatter, well at least the part that is within the boarders of Britain and going to school.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m a petrol head and I like my car as much as the next bloke. But this has got to stop. Hang on why did it start. Do these do-good parents think they’re actually doing their children a favour. Kids should be allowed to explore and develop, not be tucked up in cotton wool. If that means the odd scare then so be it. If you dare to speak to one of these people about their problem, and it is a problem. They look at you as if you just dropped off the last space ship heading west. They don’t think it’s a problem. All their doing is the same as middle class parents with access to a car. It’s keeping up with the Jones’s. If you are seen to walk and get wet people might think your poor and can’t afford two cars. So why the change in such a few short years. Is it the media? There is no evidence that we live in a more dangerous world than Thirty years ago. In fact with all the new Health and Safety rules and the Nanny State looking after us, the world is so much safer. Let’s face it cars now have rounded plastic bumpers. If you dare to ride a bike you are expected to wear one of those funny helmets with the slats in. Councils up and down the land are removing pavements in favour of billiard smooth tarmac. Well it probably has something to do with the ambulance chasing culture that has come across the pond. People, organisations, government, and you and I are now so afraid that we are going to get taken to the cleaners that we have to protect our investment. It’s a pity because kids are loosing out. And if the kids loose society does in the years that follow. And why do the ambulance chasers exist? Ill tell you greed. Greed and the sudden need not to take responsibility for your actions. Lets all blame someone else instead of taking responsibility. We should act now reject the Nanny State. Say fuck to political correctness. And get a sense of reality back. Sorry it’s all got a bit serious this time, lighter next week promise.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Go Gina!


Only one week to go until I'm off on holiday. Have you ever tried to get flights from your local airport during half term week. Plenty of flights if you don't mind travelling in the middle of the night, well at half term I suspect there will be loads of young children travelling, who wants to be on a flight with tired kids-not me, thanks.

Soon to be 7 year old will be taken out of school for 2 days to accommodate this break, as instructed I have completed the appropriate form to seek approval. This must be done at least two weeks prior to you child being absent, so 5 weeks ago I returned said form to school. Do I have the approval? To be honest I really don't know, as they only contact you if they are not going to approve the leave. How many parents will then cancel the holiday because the school won't approve the absence? I suspect, not many.

To be honest I think the county council are trying to improve attendance, that's fine, and I back them 100%, but they will never stop the irresponsible parents who always drop their children off late in the mornings and think nothing of just not sending them to school. On that subject, on the odd time that 7 year old has been late due to a Dr/Dentist appointment I am always staggered by the number of children who have been signed in late and some of the excuses, my thoughts are in brackets, here are a few

09.30 bad behavious (was that the child or the parent)
09.15 overslept (try going to bed earlier)
09.20 car would not start (you live in the catchment area, try walking)
09.25 would not eat breakfast (send them to school hungry)

Surely parents need to be setting a good example to their children. Don't misunderstand me, I am not a model parent, and am sure I will continue to make many mistakes along the way, but if children accept lateness and lame excuses as acceptable, how will they cope in later life?

This entry was meant to be fun and light hearted, instead I've managed to get on my soap box and rant and rave-sorry.

Just think the alternative blog was about two of my favourite subjects, sex and surveys, I will have to save that for another day. I did start the survey on Sunday and was amazed at the results, things I though men would be turned off by, actually appears to be a big turn on! As the old saying goes, you live an learn! I certainly have. Start feeling sorry(or not) for the next victim to enter G's world!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Lisa and her nose effluence... Posted by Hello

Lisa's Lickings

Hi there can I just get this off my chest first I would like to thank Arsenal for taking the smug smile off Manchester Utd`s face on Saturday in the F A Cup. We played a crap game didn’t deserve to win but did lol – I have to agree with the chap in the paper earlier in the week who said Red is a winning colour it certainly was that day! Well that’s my football head taken care of.

Anyway I am going to cause a bone of contention here and talk about the differences between most men and women when it comes to being ill (I know I can hear all the woman nod and agree with me)

Why is it that when a man is ill they die they take to there beds or stay at home and feel sorry for themselves and have to tell the world and his wife about how ill they are.

Yet when a woman is ill they cant be as ill as a man and they should stop moaning about being ill and get on with it. I mean you wouldn’t hear a man complain about being ill would you!

I say this as someone who felt ill over the weekend and ok I live alone (bliss sometimes lol) and I did see some of my family and spoke to some friends over the weekend but did they phone to see if I needed a food parcel, shopping, paracetomols, bath running, cough mixture, washing or ironing done or to check if I was still alive!! No I have had to get on with it. Now if I had been a man do you think I would have been offered any of the above? I will wait for the blogmasters comments here ……………..
I will let you answer that one lol

Well that’s my gripe over short but sweets have fun and chat again soon

Lisa xx

Monday, May 23, 2005

Neil's Niblets

Well what shall i write about today...shall I tell you about the new album by 'The Go! Team', an absolutely amazing album which can only be described as Sonic Youth meets Stax horns accompanied by a Double Dutch crew...the album is fantastic fantastic fantastic...steal it off the internet now!

Lets talk about nude feet, I hate feet and always have done but I hate shoes even more, if i was allowed I would quite happily walk barefoot everywhere. I think this stems from being bought up in Australia where shoes weren't really a necessity. I just love getting home and getting nude feet, there is nothing better than feeling the cold kitchen floor beneath your feet or the soft fluff of the angora rug between your toes. Does anyone agree with me on this one...nude feet and commando lounge pants, absolute heaven!

Lets talk about 70's TV programmes which should be on the schedule to be reshown...I would like to see reruns of 'Magpie' because I remember fancying Mick with the curly afro. I would like to see 'How' again, just so i could see how upthemselves John and Bunty were. I would like to see 'The kids from 47a' just to know that it did exist and i'm not just remembering a dream sequence, and i would love to see some original episodes of 'The Love Boat' which I found strangely alluring, I think it was all the skin tight polyester that did the trick.

I am hoping to start a new writing project in a short while, its going to be called 'Twilight Stories' and will be based on a set of photographs that have just come into my hands. More details on that soon.

Love, Peace and out!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

just wanted to share this

This is directly quoted from www.moby.com and i thought it was worth posting

'last night at brixton we sold cd's after the show that were actually of the show.the wonders of modern technology, huh...i think that we'll be doing this at 5 or 6 of the shows on this european leg of the tour, although as an ignorant musician i don't actually know which shows.but i'll find out.really i will.and my percentage of the profits from these cd sales will go to the 'institute for music and neurologic function', which is an amazing music therapy organization with which i'm involved.



thanks, Moby.'

Also just a big shout out to the lovely people at Muller who have produced a Muller lite yoghurt which is apple pie flavoured with real apple and cake pieces...it truly is heaven on a teaspoon...only 135 calories and fat free.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

A Ford Transit Caravanette! Posted by Hello

Steves next parts...

Here it be...the blog episode of the week...it's Steeeeve...

After getting ratarsed at my nans wedding reception on a glass of red wine!!, thoughts turned to the summer hols Dad told me he was taking Graham and my cousins Micheal & Tony on holiday to Italy taking in France, Germany and Switzerland and would i like to go with them, i said of course { i had never been abroad before} but i'll have to ask my mum, which i did, and surprise surprise she said yes which was an absolute shock after the last holiday fiasco, the holiday was to be in the middle of the summer holidays, so i took up a paper round to assist in my spending money situation, i managed to save the princely sum of £29.33 give or take half a pence this was about £60.00 less than the other lads' savings.

So the day came and we set off from Ulverston with us four lads, Nan and Doug and Dad and Mary, we were all crammed into a ford transit caravanette {cosy} it had all mod cons fridge powered by gas, sink with tap and a small cooker. we were travelling along playing cards with Doug for money, it was a game us lads used to play called "shoot" there was no skill involved whatsoever what you did was lay two cards face up on the table and you had to place bets on wether the next card turned would fall between the value of the other two cards so the smaller the gap in value the less chance you had of winning, if you passed your chance to {shoot} you had to pay 50p into the pot so the pots sometimes got quite high £7 or £8 pounds Doug loved this game 'cos he loved to gamble { horses, Bingo, football pools and cards } even though he did not win any of our games of "shoot" as I won two and Tony won three and mike and graham won 1 each, i managed to boost my spending money to £45.00 after the cards.

We arrived in London quite late around 10pm i was quite excited as i had not been to London before, even though it was dark!!, We were in London dropping off Nan and Doug who were having thier honeymoon in the capitol, when i said goodbye to my Nan she gave me a envelope and said "do not open until you get to Italy!" I said "Ok", we then set off to Ramsgate ferry terminal and we arrived at "stupid o'clock in the morning" very tierd and niggley, the ferry did not leave for five hours so we decided to get some sleep.....hmmmm..four kids and two adults in a transit, probably the worst nights sleep ever!

My Dads wife Mary was a very bossy lady and was prone to losing it big style over anything {actually still can if pushed}, we boarded the hovercraft at 06:30am the weather was a little breezy and i said i hope i don't get sea sick Mary said "don't be so bloody stupid you can't get sea sick in a hovercraft because it flies above the water!" i said "oh! alright" relieved i would not be sick, thirty minutes into the "flight" Mary was chucking up like a good un, i said "i thought you could'nt be sea sick on a hovercraft Mary" {chuckle, chuckle!} we arrived in france soon after and the lads and me soon got into the culture speaking fluent franglais like "Ave' vu cuppa mercy" it was a real laugh.

We camped overnight in france close to the swiss border i can't remember where exactly but it was very peaceful with lots of trees, one thing i do remember though is the toilet situation on the camp site they were unisex for one thing and the cubical had a hole in the ground and two bars on the wall for you to hold onto this was to be a whole new experience for me especially the aiming part of going to the loo!!.

the four of us lads shared a tent while dad and mary slept in the transit, when they fell asleep Tony and me would sneak out of the tent and nick thier ciggies and beers and have a party of our own, Tony and me were the rebels and graham and mike were the boring type no sense of adventure, we were the Motorhead to thier Abba
up for anything and we usually did!.

we were woken early the next day and Tony and me were grassed up by our respective brothers so we got a bollocking again but it was worth it!, we set off for switzerland after breakfast Tony and i took great pleasure in singing Deep Purple's Smoke on the water with guitar riff sound effects when we saw a sign for montreaux, then being told to shut up! {these adults were no fun!}, we stopped for a couple of hours and went on a trip on a boat on an underground lake and through some caves with the biggest stalactites and stalagmites i have ever seen very colourful, i had a wonderful time.

Some of the mountain roads through the swiss alps were really scary drops on either side of the road 'cos the road was on stilts on the side of the mountain but the views were really breathtaking, the best part was going through the seemingly endless tunnels, i was always fascinated by tunnels as a youngster.

we got to the swiss italian border late afternoon and stopped at a town called {forgive the spelling} Dommeldosla where we had dinner at a local resteraunt,
i played pinball for hours that night as their machine featured the Kiss and it played all their songs,afterwards Tony and I went for a walk and smoked some local fags we had bought i think they were called Morte' securo {sure death} we just loved the thrill of nearly being caught.
wow i think this will have to continue next week hope you like it.........Steve.

Friday, May 20, 2005

The 'truly great' Moby Posted by Hello

Moby Live!

Today I cry, not with sadness but with ecstatic joy of witnessing one of what has to be my best gigs ever. The best thing is that you could buy a deluxe double cd of the gig 10 minutes after the show. So here i am listening to the gig that i went to last night and the sound quality is absolutely amazing.

Moby was just stunning, he was versatile, coherent, intelligent, anarchistic and funny. The set comprised of songs from throughout his career in a two hour explosion of musical ingenuity and dexterity. 'I'm gonna find my baby' introduced us to the vocal talents of laura dawn, a powerhouse of vocal gymnastics who complimented Moby to the ultimate level.

The concert went through his rave mode which was funny because we all wanted to just get up and rock out! I was with Steve, Lisa, and Jean Claude who were just ecstatic throughout. The sheer energy and atmosphere that he created within the Brixton Academy last night was paramount to nothing that i have felt before.

There were moments of poignancy such as his tribute to the 25th anniversary of Ian Curtis's death when he covered a Joy Division song and also on songs such as 'Why does my heart' and 'Porcelain'...but there were also moments of fun with the band launching into Led Zeppelin's 'Whole Lotta Love' halfway through a song and the ultimate cover versions of 'walk on the wild side' and the Doors classic 'break on through'.

The day itself was great apart from the weather (rain, rain, drizzle and rain), we wandered around Covent Garden, pigged out in Pizza Hut and tried to find a pub in Brixton...word of warning, don't do the last thing unless you want to feel intimidated and fairly uncomfortable. We gave up on the pubs and queued round the side of the Academy enabling us to get the front row of the balcony thanks to Lisa and Jean Claude.

Moby really is a musical genius, a point which i have been trying to get across to people for the last fifteen years...perhaps now that will come to be realised...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

A Typical girlie scene! Posted by Hello

Matt's mysteries!

Morning all, blogmaster here, just welcoming you all to world Moby day and hence the reason the blog will be posted early today, as me lisa and steve are off to view the wonderous bald headed one at the Academy in Brixton. My blog tomorrow so a review is bound to follow!...enjoy matts blog...

Well who would have thought that the simple pleasure of pulling on a pair of Jog pants would have caused so much reaction. It seems that the wearers come in all shapes, sizes, and everybody has an opinion. And they’re worn in a variety of different ways. With or without underwear seem to be hottest topic at present. I’m a both kind of person depending on when I am putting them on. After work when you get in “with”, after a bath at night “without”. Ill just sit this one out and join in with the winners as they slouch there way through the day.

Any way onward, never one to dwell on something its time to point my mouse at a new subject and offer my thoughts. Hoping that it will set a spark somewhere deep inside the brains of the poor souls who can’t find anything better to do than read this personnel tirade once a week.
I was struck by a thought as I walked around Tesco’s the other day. (Yes I was pushing the trolley and it did have value products in) Something made me remember a conversation I had with my brother in law a few months before, let me try to explain. A man will need to buy a new DVD, Stereo, suit, car or anything else that he might fancy. Notice I said need not want. All these very important lifestyle choices are essential. And once his mind is made up if left alone he will not change it. We need that new camera it’s got more features on it. It will remind you to take your sock to the dry cleaners whilst telling you the time in seven different countries whilst underwater. He will then think about what is needed. All those brochures need to be studied with all those lovely tables in the back. Our man will probably make a list to clarify all the info in his mind. And then do some more hands on research, this will usually involve asking his mates opinion. This is so he can make sure his is the latest model better spec etc. Believe me keeping up with the Jones’s is nothing this is a war where the winner gets to prove his willy is bigger than all his friends. Well for a week or so, or until either the technology moves on or the same is done to him by one of his mate’s. Then after all this he will actually go and buy said TV, Car etc.

And this ladies and gentlemen is where my point is heading. A man when he goes to buy something does just that buys not shops. Saturday afternoon and armed with all the info he can find on his chosen quest our subject will drive to the local shops. Park the car walk to the appointed emporium by the most direct route. Pickup the selected item, pay walk out back to the car. All without deviation from the plan. You see men “Buy” they do not “shop”. Shopping is a totally different pastime. Let me try to enlighten you, (well the men who read this anyway). A woman thinks it might be a nice idea if there hand bag were bigger, smaller, taller, wider, or just a different colour. At least that’s what she thinks she thinks. Because two hours later the bag is fine but the shoes are wrong. And then the coat is to long, to short, to tight, to loose, etc and that’s before you even think about what colour it needs to be. And then there is make up earrings and all manners of strange accessories. They then all have to match the wallpaper in great aunt Mildred’s second bedroom. Just in case your caught short in that part of town and need to pay her a visit.(Are you beginning to get it now boys. The difference between buying things and shopping for them.) All this of course has happened in a split second. There will then follow a series of focus groups over the course of a few days. Each designed to allow all parties the chance to agree and reinforce any decision that might be made, or not made. Or made again but modified. Unlike men there is no one-upmanship. Women need to no that their decision fits in with their friends and check that there moving in the same direction as the high street. These meeting of the shopping high priestess can take place at work, at lunch, whilst having a pee with your friend in the next cubicle in fact almost anywhere but mostly on the phone. Oh God the phone, how can anyone spend over an hour talking about nothing to someone you’re going to see in less than twenty minutes.

And this is the essential difference. Shopping is a social occasion with all the fun and expectation of a great night out, or the will he won’t he of a first date. It is never about buying an end product. And if by some miracle you do somehow manage to spend some money, women will do there utmost to make sure it’s not actually theirs. And when as is usual they don’t decide on the pink or the black, well it’s an excuse to do it all over again next time. Unless of course they changed their minds. Matt.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Lisa's lashings!

Well its that time of the week another blog to write Neil phoning up and pressur... oops I mean reminding me that I haven’t sent him one

I just wanted to say what a fabulous time I had last week at the Rufus Wainwright gig in Cambridge for all of those who missed it – you should have been there it was fantastic! I was standing next to a girl and we got chatting and it turns out that we both use to frequent Rock City in Nottingham around the same time and saw the same gigs there too! How bizarre is that it was great reminiscing about how great Rock City was.

Anyway I thought I would tell you about my fabulous night on Friday I did not go to the Wellie on Friday night I hear a good time was had by all and Neil was suffering from a hangover the next day.

I went to Milton Keynes to see Miss Saigon with the crowd from Homeless – we went to a fabulous Italian restaurant before the show called Zizzi and the food was incredible I highly recommend it (zizzi.co.uk).

If you have never seen the show you really should I cried, it was lovely the whole production was brilliant the visual aspects were really good and the cast were fantastic I cant say enough about it.

Now I am so looking forward to Thursday and the trip to London with Neil, Steve and Jean Claude who I am looking forward to meeting. (I promise to be on my best behaviour lol) I am just waiting to see if there will be any more gigs to attend this year I only have one more in June to see Green Day at the Milton Keynes Bowl with my brother Paul and his mates.

On a lighter note I was sent an email on the pros and cons of dating a younger man and dating and older guy so here it is

Younger Man
Sexy firm fit body (well most of the time)
Fewer hang ups fewer bad relationships to be scarred from (who says)
You can enjoy looking at his mates
Open to instruction from a sexually experienced older woman

Sexually inexperienced
No Money
Smelly flat and flatmates always hanging around
You might get insecure about younger women around him

Older Man
Sexually experienced (you hope!)
Often richer and more successful (where are these ones then!)
Because of the above more likely to have their own home(s) cars and money to lavish on you (yeah right)
More confident, self assured – they have been through the twenties angst already (who are you trying to kid)
You’re the nubile young thing (!)

Baggage ex-wives, weird past, children,
They might not wear there age well
Nothing in common with your friends or with you out of bed (most important thing if your friends don’t like him maybe he is not the man for you!)

Ladies do we agree with this or not?

Well I am off to check this theory out so will let you know! Oh maybe not that will involve having to shave my legs………………………..

Lisa x

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I am ashamed to say that these are from my own cupboard! lol Posted by Hello

Gina's Gymnastics!

Hi Folks...it was meant to be Lisa here today but unfortunately she has not made the deadline again...so here we are with an early blog from Gina for you and hopefully we will have Lisa's for tomorrow...take it away Gina...

Confessions of a Shopper!

After the giblet session last week, I am pleased to report I am feeling more like the old me! Yippee!! That's one of the best things about this site, you can off load or just share trivia with people, often when it's serious I think we make constructive honest comments, and for me this really helps, so can I just thank everyone who gave me loads of support, help, and love, on and off the blog, it's great to have such terrific friends.

That's the serious stuff dealt with, here's the trivia:-

To date on the blog we have spoken about loads of different subjects , sex, birthdays, sex, exercise machines, sex, autobiography's, lounge pants, relationships and loads of other stuff. Today I would like to talk about supermarket value labels!(Oh bugger I hear you shout, she really has lost the plot!)

Value labels? It's not a subject I know much about as I have to confess to never buying them. I do find I tend to judge people at the check-outs who have a trolley full of those white and blue items, and I'm sure I'm not the only one!

Well, if you're a dry cider drinker, hop, skip and jump to your nearest Tesco and purchase their value cider, it is fab. Don't be put off by the fact it looks like someone's over enthusiastic urine sample, which is due to it being in a slightly discoloured plastic bottle, it's light, dry and scrummie!

So, am I now a reformed character? Will you see my trying these cheap alternatives? Or will snobbery prevent me from becoming a value shopper?

Monday, May 16, 2005

Piddy's Pickings

well...another week of holiday begins, and another week of bad weather begins! Just bloody typical...and it's 11.29 am and Glaser has just managed to buy the rest of the shares to take control of Manchester United..ha ha bloody ha!..that'll teach the smug overpaid bastards!

What do i want to tell you today...I want to tell you that I am getting dead excited about seeing Moby on Thursday and spending the day with Lisa, Steve and Jean Claude...should be a rollicking fun day.

Now singing along with Akro...lonely, i'm mr lonely, i have nobody of my own....listening to Jo whiley on radio 1, she has just sent an email thanking me for her Rufus photos, so i thought i had better listen to her radio show!

The exercise regime is ongoing and I am gliding like a goodun...managed to do over a mile in just over 10 minutes so my striding is definitely getting wider....soon to have buns of steel!

Have to work this afternoon, must make a mental note to stop volunteering so enthusiastically...its just that i find it really enjoyable so i find it hard to refuse!, and thats where the problem is lol

Steve and Matt have both got new pictures on www.flickr.com and are well worth a visit, if you haven't got an invite to get into the site just drop me a line and let me know...

I had an email from a guy I was chatting to on the web and he lives in Bournemouth with his partner. He sent me an email saying that his partner was going away in June and would i like to go down to Bournemouth and make love to him...who the fucking hell does he think i am...I was pretty disgusted at this and sent him a message saying so...i probably won't hear from him again! lol

Oh well, we have a good lot of blogs from all the gang this week...Lisa, Gina, Matt and Steve are all ready to entertain you so keep those eyes peeled on the blog..

Peace and out!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Ulverston St Marys Church Posted by Hello

ulverston Victoria school Posted by Hello
Ladeeez and genulmen, i proudly present part the third of Steve M's autobiography 'Life in a northern town' (a hey now now now now now oh yeah, a hey now now now oh oh oh oh oh..)

I had a shit summer holiday that year as you can imagine, it turns out that my dad was seeing the woman next door whom we had all been on holiday with spent time in each others houses and so on, so it was a shock to find this out, I now know why she was trying to be so friendly all the time.
My brother Graham soon began to miss our father, he used to go and visit him quite often where as i would not at all, if i saw him in the street i would run away home. One day Graham said that he wanted to go and live with my dad at his new house at a place called Barber Green a hamlet close to the village of Cartmel, Dads lady friend Mary would be living thier too, around about this time mum was getting quite friendly with mary's ex husband George, It was a wierd time for me at this point 'cos i was being bombarded with bribes from my dad trying to get me to go and live with him {I was having none of that} and George telling me how useless my dad was, it didn't take long for him to start saying i was useless too, but what can you say when you are eleven years old?, so i had to grin and bear it.

I started school at the local comprehensive in 1977 which took the pressure of the home life off me for a while, luckily i ended up in the same class as two of my best friends Kieth who you met in the first chapter and a boy called Peter Weeks we were the people to be seen with as we were regarded as the hardest guys in our year.

Ulverston Victoria High School had two main buildings the lower school on Hart Street and the upper school on Springfield road now these two buildings were a mile and a half apart and sometimes you had lessons in both buildings on the same day so we had to walk between the two quite regularly, on one occasion there was pete, kieth and myself walking to the lower school you know the score, smoking, ties off , long hair and ousing attitude when we came across a milk float parked outside the indoor market {well, we just had to} pete got in the drivers seat kieth and i got on the back with all the lovely dairy products, we set off down new market street into market street heading for our school kieth and i had great fun throwing eggs and yoghurts all over the road god the police got involved and everything we were so bollocked and were grounded for ever or so it seemed.

Christmas came and went, they were not very good at this point so i'll skip them if you don't mind.

In the spring of 1978 mum got word that she had been allocated a council house it made her so happy i had not seen her this happy for ages, so a few weeks later we moved to 10 Birchwood Drive on the Croftlands Estate, life for me went downhill rapid from this point on
Mum and George got married as did Dad and Mary,I did not go to either wedding, I still find it wierd the way they just swapped partners! but thats life i suppose,

I was asked by my dad if i would like to go on holiday with him, mary and my brother as i had not seen Graham for a while i said i would dad said he would clear it with my mum ,so off we went to sunny stratford upon avon camping we had a fantastic time sight seeing, going on trips to different places and i bought my first LP record which was LIVE AND DANGEROUS by Thin Lizzy fantastic!!.

When we got back to Ulverston i made my way back home to croftlands estate, i was greeted by my mother at the door, i went in to find all my stuff packed in a cardboard box, i said whats going on and mother said if you can go on holiday with him you can go and live with him as well, turns out dad hadn't mentioned he was taking me on holiday he had just pushed a note through thier door the night before we went to tell them i was going with them, i said i didn't want to leave and unpacked all my thingsand it was not mentioned again but i did suffer a lot of mental abuse from George as everything i said or did was ridiculed by him i tried to tell my mum but she would have none of it i even tried telling my grandparents in coniston but they said that George was not like that they just could not see what was going on {personally i think they were all scared of him, because of what i know now, plus he was loaded and that can blind the sharpest eyes}

During all of this there was somthing of a happy event in the offing, My wonderful Nan had met a fella at the bingo {as you do} he was called Douglas Stephenson he was from Barrow in Furness, he was a bull of a man hands like shovels we got on really well and had lots in common like cricket, rugby league and football
he also introduced me to the geegees later on but we'll come back to that any way my Nan and Doug got married in st. mary's parish church ulverston in 1979 it was a great day they had tier reception at the fishermans arms in baycliff just down the road from ulverston, I had my first glass of red wine at this happy event!.

I'll finish on that happy note, see you next week, Steve.

The Lounge pant poem

I have a pair of lounge pants
to wear about the flat
they're comfy and their cosy
and they slip on 'just like that'

My lounge pants are so roomy
my todger loves the space
to swing and play with constant ease
but covered just in case

My lounge pants are a second skin
a 'blanky' for the legs
and when they're washed they keep their shape
when hanging on the pegs.

Lounge pants...i love you.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Rufus Wainwright 12/05/05 Cambridge Posted by Hello

Rufus remembered...

A piece of musical heaven happened last night when the glorious and gorgeous Rufus Wainwright took to the stage at the Cambridge Corn Exchange. Myself and the fabulous Lisa (robed in a beautiful new outfit) witnessed a moving and thrilling night as the magic unfolded before us.

He meandered onto the stage with his band through raucous cheering and proceeded to entertain, alternating between piano and guitar, with his voice scaling angelic heights in the acoustics of the Corn Exchange Building.

Rufus never left the stage in two and a half hours, delighting the crowd that anticipated his appearance. Of course he had his little 'set' pieces, the trilogy of songs written for mum, sister and dad respectively, he also has his tribute to Jeff Buckley and his 'folk' set as he put it.

Rufus was charming throughout the performance, using his camp wit to great effect but not coming over too much as the gay icon that he is starting to be. The highlight of the show had to be where Rufus stripped down to a sparkly blue jockstrap, stripey 'dorothy' knee socks and the red pointy shoes to perform a couple of songs off 'Want One'...resplendant with a sash that said 'Miss Cambridge'. Rufus CAN laugh at himself and that is why the Corn Exchange had a capacity crowd last night. His music is accessible on all levels, ranging from folk to classical, visiting raucous rock outs on the way through.

Just a quick word about his band, they were so so together and all having really good fun on stage which was noticeable as they all interacted with Rufus. Overall a fabulous night and one that will remain in the old memory blocks for a long long time. Once in a while, a musical excitement comes along...for now, that excitement is Rufus Wainwright.

I have put one photograph above this blog but you will be able to see more pictures at www.flickr.com later on today. If you need an invite to this site, please let me know.


Thursday, May 12, 2005

mmmm...jogging pants Posted by Hello

Matts Mingers!

After last week when I vented my views on some of the more stupid adverts that are doing the round at the moment I have decided this week to concentrate on another of my fave subjects. The Television or TV if you prefer, whether its ITV, the dear old Auntie or one of those new digital channels I’m going to examine and of course give an opinion. Because airing my view is most of the fun. And nobody can stop me. Fucks cunts, Shiite, shit, buggery, and all that. Once I’m in full flow that’s it I’m off. (Unless of course your Dr Sensual and the moral high ground police report you to teacher for not being good and clean and telling it how it should be.) Anyway enough of this before I get into and deep and meaningful discussions about TV I want to talk about a subject that has come up as a result of a conversation between three blog writing friends of which I was proud to be one.

My wife had until very recently convinced me that I was becoming old and giving up. In essence I had “let it all go” as my Fortieth birthday approached. According to her I had come to accept the ageing process and was just along for the ride. This attack on my person had taken many forms over the proceeding months, mainly though they centred on my clothing or in particular one item I had come to wear. Now as items of clothing go this is not particularly offensive or indeed a fashion faux par. For instance it pales into the ironing basket of time compared to the Hippie Art student look I had throughout my time at college. Well I did actually go to Art school and I was young enough not care so it was almost a uniform to us at the time. I mean there not a bad colour or cut in a way as to show off my arse crack (that’s a clue) or indeed offensive in any way. And until the other day dear sweet “She who must be obeyed” had me convinced that my next stop was the old folk’s home with a blanket on my knee. Yep if you have not guessed already I’m on about the pair of Jogging pants I bought to wear around the house. The great Piddy refers to them as “house trousers” but they’re all the same things.

Made of a cotton or a Jersey material and cut for comfort, with a draw string for the waist band and the option of an open or elasticicated leg the “Jog Pant” has its place in my heart. And in the hearts of others as well. The afore mentioned Piddy can’t wait to slip into a pair when off duty. Even the love god Dr Sensual uses a pair around the love pad. And lets face it ladies and gentlemen if Dr Sensual thinks there ok then that good enough for me. My two chums and I are at a loss to see why these practical comfortable (very very comfortable) men’s must have’s could be the target for such venom. There is nothing nicer than slipping on a pair when you get out of the bath. You can then get strait into bed when the time is right because they will double as JimJam bottoms. And with a practised flick of the wrist the draw string cord can be undone and the garment whipped off to give access in those intimate man woman/ man man moments. No need to fiddle with buttons zippers or catches ever again. Even the legend that is Ozzy Osbourne can be seen wandering around the house in these cutting edge fashion accessories. Fuck me even the Prince of Darkness wears them.

The medical profession has been telling men about the dangers of too much heat around the scrotum and it’s effect on sperm production for years. Fuck the cold showers and the Airtex pants. The answer is the Jogging Bottom all that room to swing a dead cat or indeed a large ball sack in,the cut for relaxing crotch. I once made the mistake of nipping to the local Tesco without changing and my better half refused to go around with me .Its not like I had my knob on show or anything. Perfect for the home, practical in the park, wonderful in the winter. The trouser department has never looked so comfy. So there we go, we men must all hang together slouch with pride and be proud to put comfort first.

Shit run out of space and your all probably dying to rush out and get yourself a pair. Honestly you won’t regret it. Ill have to talk TV next time unless another more pressing rant comes to mind. Matt

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Ginas Giblets!

Relationships and me!!

Married, long term partner, single debate, these three things have feature greatly during my life, when I'm in one I appear to want something else. Is it because I'm naive, just plain stupid, or still waiting to meet the right man.

I was married for an amazing 3 years,(it was only amazing by the fact that it lasted 3yrs) he's a nice chap but thought I was a crap “housewife”, I managed one day to point out that a housewife usually stays at home all day, looking after her man, the home and at some point a few kids, not working full time and trying and do all those things with no help from him, he was brought up to believe that certain jobs around the house were only done by women.

He also thought the grass was greener and went off with a friend, after the initial hurt, I wished them luck and eventually was very grateful to her for removing him from my life. He still, from time to time phones to check I'm ok, and I can say he would do anything for me if I asked.

Long term partner, I've had two. The first liked all the comforts of being in a relationship but thought more about his mates, golf, snooker, rugby and going to the pub, than he did of me. I put up with this for a staggering 9 years, although I had tried to end it twice during that time, I found it very difficult to cope with the upset I was causing each time we split, so I took the easy option and stayed with him.

One September he went off on his annual golf trip abroad, I was looking forward to a weeks peace and quiet, but during that week I made my decision to end the relationship. On his return I remained focused and told him the moment he arrived home(in reflection that was really cruel, but I was worried I would get cold feet). In the following weeks I discovered from friends that on his return he was going to propose to me. It still amazes me how two people in a relationship can be contemplating such totally different options!

Long term partner number 2. Most of you have lived through this with me, so I will say no more.

Current status-single, and over the last few months I have thought more and more about want I really want, conclusion, I don't have a clue.

Speaking to a variety of friends who I'm sure will not mind me sharing their thoughts, some of them are married and don't want to be, some feel trapped, and surprisingly very lonely, and a couple are still really happy. The question I really want answering is how do people stay married or in a long term relationship and remain happy. How do you keep the spark alive or are you content with the secure, stable, loving environment, but secretly you crave excitement?

Please if you have the answer or just want to share your experiences with me, do.

On a slightly lighter note, can we talk about texting! Is it harmless? I receive text messages most days from a very dear friend. I thought they were harmless and I have to admit they make me feel really good. Today another friend asked me how would the person's wife feel if they knew that their hubby was texting me most days? She know's that it is just a bit of fun and all very innocent, but asked, would they still text me if I was married etc. I now have to admit to feeling a little unsure about the whole thing, but when something makes you feel so good, is it wrong?

That's my off load for this week, and I can't talk responsibility for it being late. I have heard through the grapevine that the Blog Master is tied up this evening!!

it's Lisa time...go lisa go lisa Posted by Hello

the world according to ...lisa xx

Hello all

Well I just thought I would share with you the some of the lovely things that happened to me over the weekend. It started on the Friday when I walked into the office to find a huge box sitting on the desk. I knew instantly it was from Neil, a beautiful bouquet of flowers (roses and lilies), a bottle of champagne and some gorgeous chocolates and the most beautiful card which I know Neil wont mind me sharing with you because it brought a tear to my eye

`Darling Lisa I love you more than everything on earth – Happy 40th Birthday Neil xxxxxxxx`

I received lots of cards and gifts and well wishes that I will be thanking people personally for xx

On Saturday I had a lovely meal with my family in St Neots – I did ask Neil if he would like to come as Steve my older brother asked me specifically if Neil was coming, (sorry Neil it wasn’t Paul who asked lol) but Neil declined muttering something about Kylie on Channel 4 later in the evening. (I thought I was number one in his life but I cant compete with Kylie!

It was lovely to be with my family and made me realise that the only time families ever really get together are on special occasions, and it was nice to have my nieces and nephews there too. Ethan the latest edition at 14 months was in real form having discovered the art of walking a few days before, did not appreciate being strapped into a high chair. He insisted in walking around all the family and having a hug and blowing kisses to everyone. His sister Emily was trying to show me the delights of a new craze called `scoobies` pieces of plastic string you make into different shapes she even offered to show me slowly as I was old! Oh the joy of being 11!

My Brother Paul’s 3 children were there his oldest Jade 19 years old! We did try to make him feel old, but it didn’t work. Kye who at 13 was more into his handheld game console than talking to us. And Shauna who gave me a big hug and wished me a lovely birthday and then said loudly `did you get a big birthday cake Auntie Lisa as it would have to be big to put all the candles on!` Brought howls of laughter from my brothers and sister in laws. I was just speechless for once. The only other time she has left me speechless was when she asked me if dinosaurs played in the playground when I was at school. – I was just not quick enough with a good answer. (I still can`t think of a good one now so just incase it comes up again – any suggestions send them on a postcard to dinosuar.com)!

I did try to point out to my younger brother that it would be his turn next year. But Paul has decided that if we want to celebrate with him, we had better start saving, as he plans to go for a long weekend to New York to celebrate his. (So piggy bank is now out and all spare change is going in – as its one place on my wish list of places I want to visit – Neil if you want to join you better start saving too)

After the meal we all go back to Steve and Pips house to carry on the celebrations and to see how drunk we could get my stepmother Gaye.
We did laugh when we got there as we had managed to have a meal in the restaurant without my Dad saying Grace. Which was a miracle in itself because many a time we all have been caught out round my Dads as we tuck in to the meal and suddenly look up to see my Dad with his hands clasped. He doesn’t normally ask us anymore as one Christmas he asked my sister in law Michelle to say Grace and we all bowed our heads and waited Michelle said `grace` and then started tucking to her dinner while we were all trying not to laugh. My Dad did see the funny side,

My brother sends me into the dining room to get a chair and as I open the door I see this enormous bouquet of flowers, a cake in the shape of a bottle of champagne, balloons, streamers and a pile of cards and presents.

I opened all the cards and presents and blew out the candles (Pip had been kind and was obviously thinking of the fire risk so had not attempted to put 40 candles on the cake. The kids were disappointed but I wasn’t I don’t think I could have blown them all out)

They had saved the best present for last they had booked me a Legends tour of Arsenal Stadium on 15 June with Kenny Samson. (Kenny who I hear you cry he played for Arsenal of course and was in the England team that played the infamous game against Argentina in 2002 when Maradona did the famous `had of god` and we crashed out of the quarter-finals.

I will have a tour of the Marble Halls, the home dressing rooms, Trophy cabinet, Directors box, Press conference room, Players tunnel, the dug out where Arsene Wenger sits, and the Museum. After which there is a question and answer session with Kenny Samson so I can ask him how he felt that day against Argentina lol.

Oh I cant wait I am sorry to all you who hate football but it’s a passion and I love it! So have booked the day off and am counting down the days lol.

We did have a great night consumed numerous bottles of wine and after everyone had left crept up to bed a little worse for wear – it took me ages to get to sleep though too much excitement for one day – too much wine – and dreaming of my day trip to arsenal zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lisa xx

Monday, May 09, 2005

Sitting on a rock
looking at the pond life
wondering what is living
in a world that isn't wet.

I feel like that sometimes, and today finds me in sort of a reflective mood, feeling that i have gone full circle in the last 10 years and ended up where i was before. My world is a lot richer in experience and emotion but the fact remains that i am and always will be a no brainer...i mean i can fool myself by getting a degree and pretending that it matters but what good is it at my age. Where can it possibly take me that isn't six feet where i stand before my peers today. This is a pretty negative thing to say but i suppose that one day i was going to have to be honest with myself and i think this is it, I am facing up to my life and my mortality. The idea of this posting is not for people to feel sorry for me and come up to me and say 'Everything will be fine', because it fucking won't be and that,ladies and gentlemen is the truth that i have to throw at myself.

I always knew that i had made a wrong career move when i left school and to this very day I am paying for making this very dreadful error. Well, there's nothing I can do, here i am in a job that i like but feeling empty and worthless. Perhaps this is just a today feeling but we shall see over the next couple of days. I know some people who are reading this are thinking 'pull yourself together' and 'here he goes whining again' but thats not what i need right now. Perhaps I need some sort of therapy or counselling, i really don't know.

Excuse me for using this as an offload page today but it's hard when you don't have anyone to share things with...lets see if Mr computer will give me some answers on what i'm feeling.

Love and Peace

Saturday, May 07, 2005

levers water and coniston Posted by Hello

Sensual Steve...part 2

Ladies and Gentleman, I am so proud to have this on my blogsite so i present to you, part the second of the Steve M autobiography, as sponsored by Kleenex.

The school summer holidays were always great, but the summer of 1975 was an absolute scorcher and it did not rain between May and October, we finished school in July and we normally spent the first two weeks at home with Mum + Dad and the rest of the time at my grand parents in Coniston. They lived in a row of slate built houses in the shadow of the Old Man of Coniston {mountain} with a fantastic panoramic view of the lake and Grizedale Forest beyond.

There were three families with children on the same terrace all were around the same age or a bit older than my brother and I and we all became really good friends. The Jenkins family lived next door to my grandparents they had three children, Russell, Alison and Lindsey, Russell and I would become great friends virtually inseparable in the holidays.

The Carroll family lived around the corner on, “The Level” “probably the flattest piece of road in the whole of the Lake District”. They had four children, Tessa, Stephen, Duncan and Jeffrey. Tessa was an absolute snob and would say things like “oh I’m not associating with riff raff from Ulverston”, until one day when she lost her purse in the sand pit in the park and your’s truly found it for her at which point she must have gone mad or something ‘cos she kissed me full on the lips, would have been nice to if she had not just eaten a tube of parma violets yuk!

Stephen was the typical “clark Kent character {dark haired and bespectacled}
An absolute wimp but this guy introduced me to the almighty Hawkwind, Pink Floyd and Black Sabbath for which he has my undying gratitude.
Duncan was mad keen on sport especially football, he always wore George Best slip on shoes they were black with red soles with a figure of the Irish soccer player carved into them.
Lastly there was Jeffery, he was the same age as my brother and they would fight and fight and fight some more over the slightest thing, and then be best of “friends” the next {nudge nudge wink wink say no more}but that’s another story.

It was so hot this summer and we all got on really well and we didn’t have a care, we would go off exploring the surrounding hills and mountains pretending to be the mountain rescue team, on one such occasion we set off in search of a resovoir called Levers Water it seemed to take ages to find, on the way we discovered some old copper mines so we went in to investigate and it was a relief to get out of the heat

The river flowing through the mine was the most beautiful sight, sapphire blue with white eddy’s swirling around the rock pools but the roar of the water was deafening
And after a short rest we set off again. About an hour later we arrived at Levers Water
Where we set out our rugs and had a picnic, then without warning Alison and her sister Lindsey stripped off completely and jumped into the water before long we were all in the water skinny dipping, when I think now of what we used to do when we were kids it’s frightening ‘cos there would be no way any child of mine would go hiking up mountains and swim in reservoirs without me being present, God how things have changed

1976 was also very hot if I remember rightly and this year things started to get a little weird at home, Mum gave up her salon to become a cleaner at Ulverston Victoria High School while Dad took on a early morning newspaper distributing round delivering the news to the people of Grange over Sands and the surrounding district he would start work at 04:30 am pick up his papers at the train station in Grange O Sands and work through till about 08:30am then he would have a break and go and work in the garage until 17:30pm, mum started work at 07:00am till 10:00am and 15:45pm till19:00pm, so that meant my brother and me had to see ourselves to and from school each day!

At the end of each day we would go to my Nans flat until Dad finished work bearing in mind my Uncle Barry and Auntie Fernanda both worked full time also, My Nan had to look after my cousins as well {god it must have been hard for her} we carried on with this arrangement for about a year.

1977 what a fucking year this turned out to be with the Queens silver jubilee,
The Sex Pistols and my family went tit’s up .
My Dad would take us home from my Nans when he finished work and warm up the meal my Mum had left us in the oven and we would all sit down and watch “Crossroads” {oh my god I here you cry} and eat then when mum came home it was time for bed {no problem you may think}.

One day we got home dad warmed up the meal as usual but today was different he seemed nervous and was in a rush, he said “here’s your tea, now eat it quietly and I’ll be back in a minute……. An hour later he returned and went for a bath, he would be downstairs just before mum got home, this went on for weeks.

The jubilee came and went, God save the Queen was at number 1 even though it was banned from the airwaves and my brother and me were packed off to a summer camp at the Y.M.C.A for a weekend, it was a great camp we did canoeing, archery, orienteering, pottery and painting. At the end of the week all the parents arrived to pick up their kids {you guessed it} but our parents didn’t, my dad had phoned the camp to say that he was too busy to pick his two sons up {what a fucking hero}

Two days before the start of the summer hols of this year my dad takes us home as usual gives us our tea it was some sort of stew I did not like it but my dad was determined I should and says “you will eat it even if your sick in it” {bastard!}
So I eat it, then he brings us some ice cream while we are eating he comes and sits next to me and starts saying things about him and mum not getting on and that he would be leaving the house before mum gets home I said “what do you mean leaving”
He said “I am leaving for good and I am going to live at your nans for a while” and off he goes leaving me and my brother in tears and with the task of telling our mother the news. Mum was devastated!

Next week picking up the pieces!

Friday, May 06, 2005

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Lisa...Happy Birthday to you xxx Posted by Hello

Lisa - A tribute for her 40th Birthday

What can I say about Lisa...she only came into my life about 3 years ago and since that day I have never really had a day where I feel lonely or feel that I have no one to talk to, because Lisa is a person that is always there for you in times that are bad or good. I have Martin to thank for introducing us and guiding us to a path of happiness and friendship.

Lisa is a generous and loving person who would rather see herself go without something rather than allow a friend or colleague to be suffering in some way. She is beautiful, spiritually and physically, and the turmoil that surrounds her sometimes is just an emotional eddy that whips around all in her presence.

Lisa does have her bad points such as being the anti establishment queen of goss! (only playing!) but all the people she meets are people that will remember their lives being touched by a gentle spirit. Lisa is always in my thoughts and my heart and i just wanted to thank her for the joy she brings to my life.

Happy Birthday xxx

Thursday, May 05, 2005

what the f... is Boswelox? Posted by Hello

Matts Moods...

Well its that time again when I get to write a few lines about whatever comes into my tiny warped little mind. And for this Thursday I thought I might look at a subject that we are all aware of, sometimes without ever knowing its having an effect Advertising. Not just any old adverts but the ones that have made me cringe, or cry, or laugh, or just want to throw the nearest household object at the TV. Because lets face it most are beamed strait into or rooms and minds when we are at our lowest ebb. The turkey twirler is sitting heavy on your stomach mixing with the chips and coffee. Your feet are up and it's ok to undo the top button of you trousers because none of your friends can see.

So ok there you are and what greets you? Fucking Boswelox that what having searched the web and can find no basis in reality for this product. Apart from the fact that a clever ad-man at Loreal made up a name for their stuff to sound like Botox which is a trademark. So what do they do, take one super model who already happens to look fantastic and try and persuade you that if you smear this gunk on your skin you to will look like the person you always imagined you would.

Its all one great con, fact your skin loses its elasticity as you get older. Not to mention the late nights, booze, fags, chips, and just living. Lets face it smiling talking singing etc all give your skin that lined look. And then they tell you "Because your worth it". Don't be conned, Mrs Chav ain't going to look like Claudia Schiffer in a million years, lets face it not even if she spent a million quid. Spend you hard earned on enjoying yourself, leave that crap on the shelf.

Talking of being conned why oh why do people buy potpourri (there he goes...on about pot pourri...nothing wrong with pot pourri, it'll be "blessed are the cheesemakers next") the greatest con of the last century. Get a handful of wood Chipping's or better still go to your local Forest and collect a spade full of dropped leaves and twigs. Take them home, separate into piles, dye each pile a different colour, mix back up, spray with some god-awful cheap scent, bag up and sell in your local supermarket for a fortune. For some unknown reason ladies (and men) of a certain age think this is the height of taste and leave in bowls around the house gathering dust. Incidentally the smell wears off after the packet has been opened for more than ten minutes.

Whilst I'm on the subject of adverts and advertising I have to mention my personal favorites. All those ads that try their hardest not to mention what you actually do with toilet paper. Soft, Strong, and very very long give me a break. What you really want to know is when you wipe your arse will your finger go through. Or does it have the strength to deal with the aftermath of the Saturday night curry. Nobody in their right mind is going to buy a product that turns to a sodden mush at the first sign of a moist turd. Which the consumer magazine could do a survey with trials as new products come on the market. We could have the international turd rating. Number One for those little lady jobs, you know the ones they pretend are all delicate and fragrant. Going all the way up to a five for all those builders logs that could be used as pit props. Mind you they would have to come up with the standard turd as a reference point.

My final picking is, Digestivus Bifidum What the fuck? Why do companies think that giving a product a long complicated name will make you buy it. The add is another euphemism for bodily functions. Oh I'm feeling bloated says the mother, I used to get that says the daughter. But now I drink one of these a day and I don't get bloated anymore. "I'm feeling bloated" why can't they just script "I'm bunged up inside and haven't been for a crap for a month." Get some fiber in your diet and take a bit of exercise each day. Remember all there trying to do is sell you stuff you never new you needed. Its all a load of old boswelox just remember whatever they tell you "it probably doesn't do exactly what it says on the tin. "

See you next week. Matt

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

This is what every boy needs...i have one and i LOVE it! Posted by Hello

Gina's Gyrations!

Firstly, can I apologise for letting you all down last week. I won't waffle on with lame excuses, but I truly am sorry.

Quite a mixed bag of topics this last week, and my absence has been noticed. No, I have not found the love of my life, so dropped everything else........................... let my explain.

* I don't do lists(other than the essential shopping list).

* My knowledge of music is fairly limited so my list would be rather boring.

* I don't watch many films, tend to fall asleep!

* I lost interest in Matt's blog(sorry), Tony, Michael and Charles just don't do it for me!

* Next came Neils all singing, all dancing, keep fit machine, with false male model.

* Lastly, "Mac's" from the heart entry.

Shit, what the bloody hell can I write about?

Maybe you could help me to decide what to buy my soon to be 7yr old son for his birthday? He seems to enjoy listening to music, it started with Pop Idol, and his idol was Gareth. Things have moved on(thank god), and his favourite CD's at the moment are Maroon 5, Robbie Williams, Bryan Adams, Delamitre, The Erythmics, Alison Moyet(oh god, I'm starting to make a list).

I really want to buy him a "walkman" are the techie terms now, a CD player, MP3 player, ipod? Last option will probably break the budget, but any ideas are welcome, as you can clearly see I do not have a clue. If I don't go for the CD option, how do you download music? Help me! Had also thought about buying a portable DVD thing, any thoughts?

It's at times like these when I do need a man in my life, but hopefully my male friends will come to my rescue, so need for full time male companion will not be required. I also need to sort out the sex thing at some stage(oh no, sad and desperate is surfacing again), but pressie buying for now top of my list of priorities.

Sorry I should mention that said music device must be small and portable as we are off on our hols, so I will need to squeeze it into my suit case.


Tuesday, May 03, 2005

lisa's arse! Posted by Hello

Apologies from Lisa

Lisa has failed to deliver a blog today. She blames it on sexual tension and lacivious thoughts. May God protect Lisa and I hope she heals in time for next week.


Monday, May 02, 2005

a map! Posted by Hello

bloggie bloggie bloggie, oi oi oi !

well...happy bank holiday everyone...i am now sunburnt as i am typing this blogette. Lisa and myself decided to go to Grafham Water (a sewer pit with trees around it) for a picnic today. It was my very first time there and i thought it was really smashing. Unfortunately as it was breezy i didn't realise how strong the sun was and so i have ended up with pink arms and a pink nose. We stayed there and tarried about an hour away by lying on this lilac blanket and counting clouds in the sky. The food went down well...me tucking into homemade onion bread filled with cheddar, gammon and coleslaw and lisa tucking into corned beef and pickle (i think)
We then went on to St Neots to see her older brother and family and spent a lovely afternoon chatting in their lovely garden and cooing and awwwing over the children (apart from me who gets shit scared as soon as a crawling poo machine comes near him!)...I must say i quite liked St Neots, Lisa also took me round Kimbolton which I had never visited and that was also lovely and rural. All in all a lovely country day in the sun...