Friday, November 30, 2007

...and another one...

The Bouncer Brothers present...

Those lovely people at Gizmo have once again come up with something mind blowingly's the result...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

game time!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Silent Silence is Salient...

"A British schoolteacher has been arrested in Sudan accused of insulting Islam's Prophet, after she allowed her pupils to name a teddy bear Muhammad." (BBC News)

well i suppose that puts my 'virgin mary, the vibrator' 'buddah, the butt plug' and 'pope, the penis pump ' to shame....fancy calling a teddy muhammad...really girlfriend thats just asking for trouble!

I hope all of you who saw Princess Kylies film last night were as moved as I was sweet...a little sychophantic on William Bakers part...but sweet...

just a little quickie to wet your whistle ;)
ciao x

Sunday, November 25, 2007

What a difference a day makes...24 little hours... Dinah Washington used to sing to me...and yes it does make a difference, one day i'm leading a hum drum life and today I am a choreographers dream, a dance superstar...well i would be if i hadn't of twisted my foot trying to master the 'camel walk' and the 'slurp'...what the fuck am i on about?...well lisa and i watched 'Hairspray' for the umpteenth time but now with added lyrics so you can sing along with tracy turnblad and company (which we did quite loudly) and then i thought i would watch all the 4 hours of dvd extras today..I started the included dance lessons quite well and was happy with my 'mashed potato' and 'watusi' but when we had to put them all together I sort of got confused into and ended up in what looked like someone playing a solo game of 'twister', i got off the floor okay but now have a little limp...but i don't mind because if people ask i can tell them it was damaged when i was a dancer in 'Hairspray' :)

Top Tune

Ahhh...gawd bless cancerous Kylie...she's always the belle of the ball to me...thank you Jake (from the scissor sisters) for writing this with our Princess...should be a monster. Can't wait for tonight as they are showing the whole of the Kylie film 'White Diamond' on Channel 4 (uk) from 8pm to 10.15pm...woo hoo... (note to lisa , please take this one off the xmas list that i gave to santa!)

Big shout outs to the guys on who have been keeping me amused on the forums while Mikey boy is still hot and sweaty in Arizona...only a few more days of celibacy left ;)

Top Film

Now this should appeal to the latent Princess in us all...I have a copy of this but have not watched it yet but it looks like a great bit of escapism...we shall ALL go to the ball :)

I had better get back to my dead friends now...i hear them calling...

Happy days ...ciao x

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Mother teresa was allegedly a crack whore...

ahem!...I wish to make an announcement...I solemnly swear that the following is absolutely true....our (xxxxxxxxxxxxxx) have a couple of very intersting sexual fetishes...I will not go into detail for fear of getting sent to the tower (or faced with a cease and desist order!), generally they consist of threesomes (two boys and 1 girl), one (xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)likes a hard spanking while he does the business and most bizarrely one or two of them may or may not have allegedly jerked each other off in front of a couple of friends of dorothy party guests (as told from within the royal household). I don't think i have printed anything libellous but i am sure i will soon be told!...good for you (xxxxxx), growing up in an experimental kind of'll be down to Heaven to get fisted in the dark room soon! (censored by me!)

Top Tune

well the dust has settled on my new kitchen (and been wiped off and then resettled and wiped off etc etc) and it's going to be bloody lovely...just waiting on the decorator and plasterer and floor tiler now...phew, almost there :)

I hope you are all wildly buying christmas presents for each other...i don't want much, NO really, just what you can afford but if it's under a fiver it goes straight on ebay okay...the person who bribes me with the nicest present gets a whole year of mentioning on the blog, every posting will include a snippet of their daily exciting is that! anyway, just leave me a message as to what you are getting me and i will judge wether it's (drum roll) "Tasty or Tat"

Top Film

I received my copy of the 'shimmy and shake' edition dvd today and its oh so cool babies. sing along with all the song lyrics, learn the dance rocks! (available as a 2 disc set from )

more tomorrow :)

Ciao x

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving you Turkeys!

Happy days to all our American friends today...hope you get stuffed on pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes with butter and cream, pecans and anything else that is overloaded with cholesterol!

Football....hmmmm...grrrr....I will post exactly what i texted to Lisa this morning..."sorry to hear that England had to play the disabled team at last nights game. We might have actually won if there was an able bodied one amongst them!"...that about sums it up really...the manager has been booted...the fans have been pissed off, but it's what we expect in this country...lets face it guys, we are crap at anything competetive...okay maybe we stand a chance at the 'person who can eat most otters in one minute" comp, but nada apart from that. I declare English sport 'dead'

Top Tune

we've got tickets!, we've got tickets! and lisa toddle off to the apollo hammersmith in February...hope he has some cool guests ;)

following on from my refurbishment story the other day the electricians came back and I popped up at the time that is known as 'lunch' and nearly sobbed as i saw my apartment strewn with cables, dust, dirt and my £2000 tv and sound system sitting in the middle of it i remained calm i will never know, but i did and at the end of the day i went back up to the flat and it 'nearly' looked as if nobody had been in there...except for this fine film of white dust. Well, the electricians have gone now and my kitchen units get erected tomorrow, all doors will be shut firmly so as not to attract any stray debris apart from the kitchen...lets see what happens!...

Well what about this fucker whose been burying people in backyards then...what a fucker! I came across a crime scene once and tried to report to the police that a man in black had killed hundreds of people and had buried them in a big field by an unused was the talk of the village when hundreds of armed responses stormed his hideout...the vicar of the local church and cemetary was not amused...

top film

out now on dvd and very tremendous it is too...not at all what i expected!

ciao x

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

How Fabulous is this?

whizzy bits!

Being about one step behind your average blogger I have only just noticed the new blog page elements that you can of all we have a survey to your right, please join in...also if it works there is a flickr slideshow at the bottom of the page...very soothing and enjoyable.

gay chat, online dating and social events

The link above is active...there will be a little competition, the person who gets the most people to sign up to the website in a week will win a nice prize (to be decided), go and have some friendly banter, it's NOT a dating site but dates can and do happen, if you are out for sex and sleaziness please go to Gaydar!

what have i been doing since last wednesday I hear you cry...well I have been stressing over builders! They started work on my new kitchen yesterday and the first day went well, they stripped all the old units out, ripped off all the wallpaper (and half the plaster) and I went back at the end of the day and all was, now thats a slightly different matter...the electricians moved in to completely rewire the whole apartment, there is trunking everywhere, there are holes in the walls and ceilings..all of which will be 'patched up by the decorator' (i hope he has some magic fucking plaster)...I went back home this evening and it looks like R2D2's innards strewn all over the place...they put their boots all over my bedding, all over my kitchen stuff without a care in the world...and to top it off one of them had a shit in my bathroom! god help me, they are back tomorrow...all i wanted was a nice new kitchen ;(

Great film alert...American Gangster...Ridley Scott's latest epic thrasing in at around 2hrs 45 mins...Russell Crowe is excellent, Denzel Washington is sublime. A bit gruesome in places but not unnecessarily so. Watch and revel in the late 60's / early 70's atmosphere. (warning: does contain racist language pertinent to the era)

Aw, my partner Mike has flown all the way to Arizona to see his brother and left me in the cold cold english winter. I do miss him but i did fly off to Egypt without him for two weeks, so alls fair!...for those people asking, Lisa and 3Steel are very well and may well get coerced into writing a bit now and then if they wish to...perhaps we could have a poll on it!

More on Thursday...take care of yourselves...

ciao x

I WiLl sOON HAve mY DaY...I aM cOmiNG...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Pixies stole my toothbrush and used it to clean an elephants bottom...


how the devil are you...thanks for turning up to read...

why am i promoting this you ask..because its gonna get you hooked like a pure dose of smack, it's going to overtake your finger control on the keyboards, it's going to take over your life...well, am i being a bit dramatic, yes...but it is a rather good tv game show website using the latest tv2 are the star of such programmes as 'deal or no deal' ' the price is right' 'family fortunes' etc etc...all with your favourite tv hosts...a great way to spend hours. I love the site and I wanted to rave about it a bit more but as the site is in beta form they still have a few problems to sort out such as lagging and freezing (PLEASE SEE ADDENDUM BELOW), which is most annoying when you have got to a banker offer of 125000 and can't take it any's bloody good though and hopefully will only improve with age.

ADDENDUM,after a week of emailing to and fro to the lovely man Jack at wedigtv they finally have seemed to sort the server out and everything is pretty much perfect. The only problem is I am wasting too much time on the site and I have now got a cupboard full of Vanish carpet cleaner and have booked five trips to Disneyland ,you will see what I mean when you play the games on play!

2. why are people in the medical and healthcare industry all so fucking moody. They treat people like shit, moan about pay (excuse me, but who chose to go into that career path when you knew what the wages were) and now some carers are threatening to go on strike because they don't like going around at night by themselves. Fucking namby pamby society, we ALL want money for doing nothing but lets face it it doesn't happen very often. I know where carers are coming from (i've been there cleaning peoples shit and wouldn't do it again) but to threaten to withdraw help from an old and frail person just to get your own way is monstrous, vindictive and a downright uncaring attitude...not something someone would expect from a carer. Social Services aren't really bothered though as there are many many immigrants from all over the world just waiting to step into the renegade carers footsteps. Unfortunately the majority of professional carers these days would have found it difficult to find another job elsewhere due to their lack of intelligence. Doesn't this story just underline that fact!

3. that reminds me...have i told you about the time a chap i was caring for passed a constipated bowling ball and it rolled off into the hallway with me chasing after it...thought not!

4. top tune

An oldie but goodie...allison and will have a new album coming soon :)

5. MOBY has announced his new album release for February called 'Last Night' promises to deliver more in the way of dance and techno beats than the last three albums. Can't wait :) Please let their be a tour to promote it.

more more more....encore encore......not now i'm too tired... ciao x

I Am A StAlkER...MY NaMe iS NOt ImPOrtANT AT ThiS tIME...I WiLl USe PIDDyS PLace aS MY New HOMe...I LIKe to wATch...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The thief of my heart....

My heart was stolen once again by the beautiful and lovely Sinead o'connor at the Royal Festival Hall in amazing set, her voice was more thrilling and perfect than ever. She wooed me with songs old and new and by the end of the evening I was smitten once more....its nice to rekindle old flames now and again :)

also a big shout out for Damien Dempsey who did a blinding support slot...check out his albums and myspace page ;)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Endless endless endless...

And so the war mongering cycle goes on and on with Prince William being allowed to lay his first wreath at the cenotaph..people do not need to see a member of royalty pretend grieving on their behalf. People have their own way of dealing with grief and remembrance, to turn it into an episode of pomp and majesty is completely wrong and i really thought that the young royalty might have made a difference, obviously not, obviously they are as stupid as their parents and grandparents...will it never end?

to the person that wrote to me privately about 'coming out' I write a public reply..."thanks for your mail, I won't bullshit, it's probably the hardest thing you will ever do and it takes a very brave person to confront the need to tell people, especially close loved ones. I unfortunately didn't get the chance as my sister outed me to my parents just before I had the chance too, it backfired on her though as my Mum and Dad have been really supportive and I would say we have grown even closer in later years. I was a late outer and in fact was ready to marry a girl quite a few years ago (shock horror!) In the end I just had to face the facts and not ruin someones life by living a lie. I really hope that you have close friends that can support you if it's rough with your family, I know I wouldn't be without mine. I don't really know what else to say, each persons experience of 'coming out' seems to be completely different, but i will say one thing and that is that i thank you from the bottom of my heart for contacting me about the issue. I really was moved and I hope you can visit the blog in time and laugh a bit more when everything settles down for you. I hope you don't mind me replying through the blog but other people may be asking themselves the same question. Do it, it makes all the difference and if i had the chance all over again I would have certainly become a public fairy a lot sooner ;) x "

The kylie show.....oh god wasn't she just fabulousness on a stick...looking a litle older but damn sexy...and i loved the hommage to the 'Agent Provocateur' advert with the bucking bronco...sheer majesty.

ciao x

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sigur Ros - Heima

Have just taken delivery of the sumptious book and double dvd box set of 'Heima' (home in icelandic). If you have never heard of Sigur Ros you still need to see this movie. It is out and out one of the best 'concert' movies I have ever seen..the premise behind it was that Sigur Ros finished their world tour and then played small little villages in Iceland for free.

The cinematography is just equisite, with amazing landscape after amazing landscape set to a soundtrack that is desolate and very very beautiful. The guys in the band throw in little interview snippets as the film goes on and you can tell how moved they were. It seemed to be a very cathartic experience for them and it shows in their amazing and uplifting musicianship.The film itself is 1hr 40 mins with 260 minutes of extra performance footage thrown in for good measure. It's a shame that it hasn't had a cinema release, it deserves to be seen on the biggest screen you can find. I really beg you to see it, even if you feel the musics a little strange, I am sure you will walk out of the viewing feeling much better about the world!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Piddys problem page...

"Dear Auntie piddy,

I find quite low ball bags quite attractive in a man and wondered if there was any exercises that I could do to improve my own shape so to speak?"

Dear ball bag fan....there is quite a simple stretching exercise that you can do. First step is to get yourself nice and warm, a bath would be a good example. Jump out of the bath and grab your scrotum at its lowest point in between the forefingers and thumbs of both hands. Now bring your sack out and up over your little person bringing it as near to your belly button as you can . Now hold for 10 seconds or more. Repeat this for about ten times a day and you shoulkd have a knee knocking ball bag in next to no time. Enjoy your scrotum

"Dear Auntie Piddy,

My mother once told me that you should not use a cat as a loofah, she told me that hamster fur was better for collecting residue fecal she having me on?"

Dear cruel bastard....if you even think of putting any animals near any fecal matter I will stretch your scrotum so hard (see exercises above) that you will scream like a girl and walk round saying 'you put the lotion on the body' in a weird creepy voice for the rest of your life.

"Dear Auntie piddy,

Is there a way to make someone in a coma really happy?"

Dear carer...yes, just switch the fucking machine would you like it if you had to spend your days with tubes up your nose, down your throat, up your old man and out of your anus. How do you think it would feel to rely on fluid substitutes as food, perhaps being sub conciously aware of some fool singing your favourite song over and fucking over again just in case you decided to pull through. do you think it would make them happy?, I assure you that they would be fucking delerious.

Thats all that we have time for on the letters right now, more from auntie soon...

What about the venting I hear you cry, well I have calmed down a bit now except for the frat's an American thing that seems to be creeping into our colleges over here, but why?. . . do we really have to act like those jerk offs that show their dicks off at every opportunity to every one that will look...fuck me, it's no wonder george bush is in power if this is what america breeds...I can just see it now, President of the United States in 2054 is Bradley (9 incher) Mogwai, a 22 year old surfer dude from Santa Rosa whose party trick is to jerk off into unsuspecting friends drinks and watch them down his salty seed. He likes to party and believes that the world IS America. He has never been out of the country and looks forward to his yearly dwarf throwing tournaments with the other 465 states. This IS America , the ship of fools...Jackass

ciao x

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

ich bin ein berliner...

As john f kennedy once said to marilyn monroe "fuck me , is that your bush or are you wearing a small coat".

I'm still not panic my petals...i have had a busy few days and will post a proper blog on thursday evening, and boy am i in the mood for venting!

topics may include...
1)Frat boys and the fraternal spirit.
2)how bad a companies management can actually be and still get away with keeping their jobs
3)the dramatic rise and fall and rise and fall and fall and once more fall again of the lovely amy winehouse.
4)Dogs - fuck buddies or pets?
5)The problems caused by going into an std clinic and saying "my dog has crabs"
6) New music, film and artsy fartsy painting installations

looking forward to seeing you here...tune in or drop out (but please don't drop out, really, I have a pepsi max addiction to feed)...i love you all...ciao x

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Be very afraid!

Lip Synching at it's it all!

Umbrella - Rihanna (lip dub in High Definition) from TP CMM on Vimeo.

lip synching at it's best and all done in one take...absolutley amazing!