...and so it came to be, that everytime that miriam now took a bath the dog would be locked outside...
Lets talk about...shop assistants. Why oh why are they all so fucking rude these days, any shop you go into, the staff mostly have attitude problems (except Waterstones...coz i love waterstones and the people are all fluffy and nice). Lets take a certain clothes shop for example...a clue, big stream with a piece of land in the middle of it...being a big giant of a chap I walked in the other day and the assistants looked over at me, looked at each other and just laughed. I felt humiliated, i felt abused but they just stood there and laughed. I walked out. This happens fairly regularly in clothes shops these days so i just tend to order from my next catalogue at home and be done with. Record shops are also piss takers, I used to manage one and probably have more music product knowledge in my cock than they have in the whole of their thin studenty little under nourished bodies. When i wander in now to buy my Partridge Family albums and my David Soul albums I don't expect to get intimidated...and thats why more and more people are turning to the internet, better service in a nice and peaceful environment with a no hassle returns policy...perfect shopping!
Lets look at sex shops...the palaces of forbidden delight, the emporiums of sin. I only go into sex shops with friends as it still looks a bit seedy when you wander in as a middle aged chap. Once you are inside its great fun, you get to wobble things, you get to vibrate things, you get to size up things for girth and width, but overall you have FUN. I remember the time i went in to one in London and came out with cock rings, lubes, johnny's, vibro massagers, nipple clips and all sorts of carnival looking toys...all of which sat in a bag for about two years before they got thrown out. Sex shops have some sort of magic attached to them whereby the goods draw you in and before you know it 'bang', a bagful of spunk inducers! If you are a hetero couple, its normally the guys that buy stuff hoping that the girls won't be freaked out by their weird fetishes (unless the town has an Ann Summers shop, then it will be the girl who buys the toys!). Hmm fetishes, lets talk about fetishes...I have a close friend who likes to be spanked, she likes to be spanked really hard in fact but has a real problem finding a guy that wants to do that to her for fear of causing pain. I know another guy who is into S and M and he finds it really hard to find partners who will chain him to a bed with a hood on and give him small whippings with a cat 'o' nine tails. I don't think the British public are quite as open to sexual deviance as they think they are....unless you can prove me wrong?
10 films you should have in your collection...
1) Brief Encounter
2) Now Voyager
4) Pulp Fiction
5) The Elephant Man
7) Jean de florette / Manon des sources
8) The English Patient
9) Wild at Heart
10) Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
...Tinkerbell suddenly set fire to Pinnochio, and thats when they found out she was pissed off at being a fairy...