some girls are bigger than others

..."lop eared wanker"...shouted pooh...

well here we are and touch wood the blog seems to be fine...just to let you know that next weeks guest blog will be provided by our very own Johnny Vegas aka Steve...I am sure his northern wit will make you run for the hills and so keep your eyes peeled for tuesdays blog...

Oh my god i don't know how i can contain myself but Dr.Who starts on Saturday at 7pm, this time including floating daleks, how exciting is that!..critique will appear on Sunday...

'No Angels' returned to our screens on Channel 4 on Tuesday and what a hoot that was! The girls were back in fine hedonistic form with lots of shagging, barbituates and patient mistreatment. I noticed the only outcry this time was from the royal college of nursing saying it was degrading to nursing staff but the other hand seems to be saying that nursing staff love it...from experience it looks like a genuine nurses home to me, I had a friend from Southampton who went to London nursing and I was invited down one weekend for a birthday bash...Oh My God you have never seen anything like it, there were lines of coke on demand, there was like a cocktail cabinet of legal highs in the lounge all stolen from the hospitals and tons of booze...and that was before we went out!...we hit the west end, and soho, and old compton street, and brixton and hours later ended up back at the nurses home, everyone a bit worse for wear...it took about 40 minutes for the first person to get their kit off and within minutes everyone had followed...we leave the story there as it is something that is sacred within the walls of that nurses bordello! (except that his name was christian and he was hung like a horse!)...so i think that the angels on tv have a little bit to live up to!...

Lets talk about home shopping channels for a minute, I have become obsessed and i need help...I have started to believe everything they tell me from saint QVC's home, I now realise that i can't do without their products, i didn't know i really needed one till now...i find myself holding up objects in front of the lamp so the light will refract in it and look as pretty as it did on television. I didn't know i needed a vacuum sealed storage bag until they told me i did...I didn't know i needed an elastic non evasive surgery facelift bandage until they proved it worked on tv...i will no longer go anywhere now without a ruler as you never know when you will have to measure something and overall i keep my nails and fingers dead clean in case i have to show a friend something in close-up...

Why do people you meet on the internet think they own you?...I talked to this guy a few times and he was insistent on me going down to London to join in a foursome with him (wealthy fund manager) a portugese footballer and a brazillian racing driver. Each time he mentioned a date he sort of demanded that that would be the day so i called his bluff and asked him to come up to Bedford as it would be easier for me, guess what...a couple more texts and nothing heard from him again. Why do people who contact you seem to want to demand that you do things their way? Am i not seeing things right, is this the way you are meant to play the game?...I don't think i can do that, i need to know everything would be shared on an equal basis, includidng travel...mind you the wealth and the temptation of whoring it for the night was pretty tempting! lol...

last thing for today is the hidden agenda behind the cartoons of Charles M Schulz...Charlie Brown was evil, snoopy was very militant, patti showed lesbian tendencies wheras the blonde kid who loved beethoven was a fairy. Linus was special needs on the outside but master villain within and as for Lucy, she eventually became Monica lewinsky...discuss...

...and pooh and eeyore both looked scared when Christopher robin threatened them with the kapok factory...