Tuesday, March 22, 2005

is it unusual to slip on coconut milk?

...there were tears all round when the ugly ducking found out that everyone had been lying and he was just in fact a duck...

Its guest day today and may i give a warm hand of welcome to the northern element of our readership...today i give you stone cold steve..woo hoo! (i'm now having a day off writing so enjoy all)

Hello bloggettes & bloggers!!
Welcome to the guest blogg spot, I am a little nervous writing this after reading all the other guest bloggs ( all of which were superb and funny),so i have a lot to live up to, So lets kick off tonight with the fuckin' students who live next door I have been in my house now for a year the first six months were great, then one day, the students from "lets be loudmouthed bitches university" moved in and for the past six months I have had to put up with them throwing fag buts over the garden wall,playing football at 3am with a space hopper in the front street!! and ....the loudest shag noises you have ever heard. well i suppose the latter isn't so bad,I dont reaaly mind them having a party now and again (especially if they invite me ha!ha!)as long as they dont wake Edward up as that is a different sort of nightmare .......

joke time.....

If a woman is uncomfortable watching you wank,
do you think..

A. you need more time together
B.she is a fucking prude
C. she should have sat elsewhere on the bus.

Iheard of a new technique for having sex the other day, its called "rodeo sex" now what you do is, do everything that you would normally do but as your partner is reaching orgasm whisper someone elses name in thier ear and see how long you can stay on for!!!!

joke time.....

Statistics show that the most popular sexual position among married couples
is doggy style!
The husband sits and begs while the wife rolls over and plays dead!!

I can't wait for easter sunday as i am off to see "stiff little fingers" at the junction in Cambridge with matt and marie should be great fun as i have not seen the band since i was at school and the bass player in the band is bruce foxton previously of "the jam",who were also a good band.

i seem to have developed wankers... sorry writers crampso i'll signoff now, hope you enjoyed the read, keep it moist, Steve.

ALL HAIL NOBHEAD!!!!!!!

(2 Days Later...)

after showing neil my piece (I beg your pardon?) , he was not impressed with the length of it, so
after intensive fluffing by my partner, i am endeavoring to make it longer!even though i thought size did not matter.

great night out on friday night with lisa,neil & myself, i now know all the ins and outs of "love eggs", bob's and the like as lisa was in full flow!! ( gushing like a verbal waterfall she was!)
i did not know you could get an orgasm at the checkouts in supermarkets, lisa!!!!.
i think we must have upset some people cos' they did not sit next to us very long,(obviously couldn't take the high brow conversations we were having),they would sit there a few minutes, then move to another table tutting to themselves (wankers)but we carried on regardless, it was great.

just another quick mention of the fuckin' students,saturday night they decided to have another party, but it seemed to have a wierd dress code, all you had to wear was a lacy top and no pants!!!!! great viewing but not for kids (as edward said "that lady has no pants on" at the top of his voice.)i said "ladies they are not" or words to that effect, all in all a good
weekend can't wait for the next one.

see you, steve.

Excellent stuff, thank you mate for entertaining us for a while...I just wanted to thank everyone for reading...yesterday I had 161 openings of my web page so that probably equates to about 120 reading it which is quite wild! The record for page viewings was February 3rd when the page was viewed 284 times, i think that might have had something to do with matts birthday pics!...anyway thanks again, if you could also click on the google ads or ad links when you arrive that would really help me out and get up the list on the search engines...love to you all...

...justin was embarrassed when his family all turned up in his class because they heard that he was talking about the theory of relativity...

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yipee, logged on early and wow, blog already posted. Can I contain my excitement-lets hope so!
You nervous, that a joke, I expect you had to type with one hand-other was holding the bottle/glass of red wine.
Well what a lively street you live in, poor you, having to endure, sex, sex, more sex, girls who do not wear any pants, what a hard life it must be!
Can you tell me which supermarket Lisa shops in? I must hear all the facts, looking forward to seeing you Lisa.
Fab blog Steve, have you tried knocking your neighbours, and asking them to be just a little considerate and maybe next time they are having a party they could also invite you.(and your better half of course) Gx

piddy77 said...

oh ho!...have just been reminded of lisa comments in the pub the other night...and to quote...'when i go down on someone i always have a sniff and if theres any sort of odour i go back up and don't go there agin'...lol...thats my girl!

Anonymous said...

Great blog Steve don't forget the coffee will still be on at eight even though Lord piddy has decided he can't take any more for a few days and is off work. You will need to get yourself a digital camera to go with the new Pc ,theres nothing like taking a quick snap of someone to make them think about what there doing espesialy if they have no pants. Get a picture of that mate and we will plaster it all over the net , then just post the link through the the door late one night. Job done. Has anybody carried out any reasearch as to which name to wisper ? Do any have a greater efect than others. M

Anonymous said...

Hi Matt
do you not remember me calling a partner by the wrong name, it was not during sex, but the silly arse has still not forgotten it!!!! Gx

Anonymous said...

Actually Gina it took more than one bottle to come up with this masterpiece!!

Anonymous said...

How many hits, sorry to shatter the illusion, but I must log on at least 50 times a day! Gx

Anonymous said...

I will be famous for all the wrong reasons lol - are there no secrets anymore lol and all this talk on coke (drink variety i hasten to add) i would hate to think what i may say if given a few drinks oh the horror x
Steve the bog was brilliant - i agree with matt get the camera next time and les plaster them over the internet - lol
Lisa xxxxxxx
ps i cant wait for sunday night to see SLF woo hoo xx
and who says youi cant have a mid life crisis lol i am going concert mad this year SLF - Rufus - Moby and Green Day what a year and the best holiday with Neil what more could a girl ask for xxx

Anonymous said...

Actually Gina I had forgoten about that little episode. Thanks for reminding me perhaps I should feel honured, lol Matt

Anonymous said...

good blog Steve thought it would be with you being a northerner!!
love to all Lauren xxx