Monday, March 07, 2005

clang clang clang went the trolley!

...Benji pulled on the cord and watched while the lions cage door opened in front of him...

hi all and thanks for the first couple of entries to the competition, one right and one wrong so far but thanks for entering!

I have just heard about someone whose marriage has just lasted two weeks and they are now filing for divorce, after having known each other for about 14 years...the woman has said that her husband has changed in those two weeks...Hmm, living in seperate flats before marriage...think about it love, perhaps it was living with you that was the problem?...God forbid it should be your fault.

anybody see the 'banned' programmes on channel 4 last night, all the explicit bits you missed off tv was great fun, an orgy of excess from the Sex Pistols swearing on live tv to the performance artist who ate foetuses as an art installation. The series carries on tonight and promises to be a most derivative collection of documentaries on the subject of censorship and public perception. The films that they have chosen are pretty good examples of extreme, ranging from 'evil dead' through 'a clockwork orange' to 'kids', all films worthy of your time...enjoy!

Why has death become such a taboo subject in modern life?...people used to celebrate death in earlier times and in fact right up to the 1950's in Northern England where it was the norm to have major processions from a village to the final resting place of a local. Death is now talked about in hushed tones and is all so very clinical and clean. Bodies are hardly left in open caskets now unless culture demands that this takes place. I for one am not afraid of death, I don't feel that the day of my death will be different to any other day of the year apart from the fact that i will cease to breathe. I don't want people to grieve or wail, i want people to have fun with my death, party like its 1999 all over again, celebrate me..don't deny me that. I suppose everyone has fears though and this is one that lives in quite a lot of peoples hearts. The two closest fears to me that i can't destroy or push aside are the fear of being alone in my old age and the fear of heights. These two frighten me more than anything else. I have tried to understand why I fear loneliness, I suppose its that i have so much to share with people before i go...I couldn't spend my days without someone to love me or someone to look after and this does break me apart occasionally. I start to panic and i just have to work through it for a few days and then i bounce back, but as i get older each year the panic seems to last longer and i know that one day it will be the end of me...oh human frailties desist!

I want to complain about ladies next, well not ladies in particular but Oestrogen by-products in drinking water. In previous times there was no birth control pills and there was no flushable sanitary products. Men had a higher sperm, each year the male sperm count is decreasing because of the Oestrogen that cannot be removed from water even with the processes it goes through. Think about it are possibly ruining your chances of can't get full term without no sperm! (that will be my campaign slogan)

I feel conspiracy theories coming on...

Can't wait for comes Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesaa!!

...Mindy thought that she would try the missionary position but the people at the local church weren't willing to help...


Anonymous said...

I did not think you would mention the marriage thing, why marry after 14 years together? Why get married for the 5th time, beats me, I've tried it once, it didn't work, and I won't ever try it again. "Live in sin"(is it still called that these days?)it's easier to end!
A promise to Neil, we will have the best party ever when your passing comes, any favourite tunes we must play? Just typing this promise makes me feel strange, I'm planning to party at a friends funeral, but a promise is a promise.
Thank god for the low sperm count is all I can say, but then I am missing out on the latest government perk by not having any more children. When I do find a single man, I must ask him if he is single, solvent, circumsised, and does he have a low sperm count. Do you ever think I will meet anyone?????? Gx

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you could make do with two out of the four. He could be solvent with a low sperm count, or circumsised and single. All four is probably a bit to much.I bet if you asked a man on your first date if he was circumsised he would get the wrong idear. Perhaps a more subtle approach is needed. M

Anonymous said...

I dont think i will take the plunge and get married lol stay single - i promise to have a good party when you die lol just as long as you leave me your cd collection :)x and Gina i agree with matt i think you may be asking to much for 4 out of 4 lol

Lisa xxxxxxx