...dorothy clicked the heels of her red slippers together three times and then realised that she had forgotten to coat them with any anti-scuff products...
Lets talk about BOB's...now this was a new one to me till earlier and it stands for Battery Operated Boyfriends...so now you can work out what the girlies were talking about...i know lisa won't mind me telling everybody that she has 5, including 'Thumper the rabbit' and 'Black Giant'...i aim one day to be invited to an ann summers party because i'm sure gay guys can have just as much fun at these things than women can...so there people, you now know what a BOB is!
I heard something GREAT today...Bedford college are now offering NVQ's in Buffing, I thought it was the same as fluffing but apparently you need some mechanical equipment for this one...Buffing, whatever next an NVQ in putting castor cups under sofas, an NVQ in opening the foil seal on a coffee jar or how about an NVQ in opening a cd case (that one would be very handy!)...God give me strength...
Did anyone see Casanova last night, what a marvellous episode, bawdy, fun, colourful and brilliantly written by Russell T Davies....can't wait for the next episode.
Onto the main subject of the day, I was watching 'Castaway' with Tom Hanks last night and i wondered, "Why do all american films have happy endings?"...why couldn't the fucker just not be found and we see him die on the island and rot away. Lets use this formula for other films:
'The Sound of Music'...they all get captured by the nazis, raped and killed.
'Dial M for murder' ...the phone line is cut off as they haven't paid the bill.
'Panic Room'...everyone shoots each other downstairs and the kid dies of a hypo whilst jodie runs out of air and suffocates.
'Field of dreams'...no fucker turns up at his useless stadium
'Its a wonderful life'...the fucker commits suicide anyway.
'ET'...he gets shot down and doesn't arrive home at all
'Finding Nemo'...he doesn't
you get the gist but see how easy it can be, its only because the americans have wussy focus groups that don't like to see unamerican endings that we have this problem...
Somebody made me think of a lovely vision today, so today I am celebrating the beginning of spring by having 'think of your fella in a cricket box day' ...oh the possibilities are endless...i would like to buy a certain persons used cricket box for charity but can't find anybody to ask him!!
I was scared today, I got locked in an empty flat, somebody told me the lock wasn't working very well so i went up to see how bad it was...the door shut and the fucking handle went crunch...there i was helpless...in the end i had to get matt to help me by passing keys through the letterbox to unlock the door..enough to say that people (yes you Gx) were sniggering throughout the day at my misfortune...hmmm
Just to clear one thing up, Lisa phoned me last night and still wants to marry me, so all is well on track for september...another happy ending (at the moment)...
...pippett was the smallest horse and he only knew this because he kept banging his head on everybody elses testicles...
3 comments:
I agree with the film ending thing, the American film industry is paranoid about upsetting the paying audince. Only one thing The sound of music is a true story,tempting as it is to have the Von-traps never sing again. What would be funny though is if Maria when running up the hill arm's outstreched singing tripped over a rock and went head first into some cow dung....Perfect ending to a dreadful piece of film. Matt
Bob survey results:-
asked 10 people(all of them had to ask "what is a bob")
age range 34-60
3 boys
7 girls
only 2 people admitted to owning one, they were Neil and Lyn(only because her husband is called Bob)
Thank you, but maybe next time I will conduct the survey on a 1to1 basis, rather than with a group, as I'm not sure everyone was being honest.
Can't agree about the films, I like a nice ending, but whether the ending is happy or sad it still makes me cry.
Neil how could you say I sniggered at your unfortunate situation, I thought it was hilarious, and so did Anne and Matt-he wanted to wait 4hrs before responding!
Oh nearly missed the cricket box item, tell me who's and I will ask. Fab blog. Gx
Ps thought you were fab this afternoon, very positive, informative etc, lets hope I feel this good at the end of the week.
Had to rush to read the blog tonight as Neil warned me to be nice to him lol - relieved only mentioned 5 lol must have weekends off then lol
So whos having the next Ann SUmmers Party then we can take Neil I am sure he would not mind modelling the animal thongs for us - I wish i had been there when you got locked in i wouldnt have laughed honest :)
agree with the films in speed she puts her foot on the brake and the bus blows up - but then what about all those horrors if they didnt venture outside alone in the dark woods half naked there would be no film lol
Lisa xxxxxxxxxxx
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