Eggs, Eggs, Eggs

...it was'nt until the carpenter saw jesus up on the cross that he realised that the romans hadn't made him build a mast for a sailboat after all...

Oh ho ho ho...it's easter time and the bunnies are running wild, there are fountains of chocolate everywhere (which i can't eat, so fuck you all), and newsagents are rubbing their hands with glee in praise of St. Tin foil who covers cheap bits of chocolate to make them look reasurringly expensive. Children are running round the gardens on easter egg hunts, looking for those secret painted boiled eggs that contain the unformed embryos of fluffy little chicks, and lovers are gazing into each others eyes waiting expectedly for presents that will never come (because the newsagent never ordered enough fucking eggs)..so happy fucking easter and bollocks to it all...I have now decided to have these sweat bands and things re=embroidered to now say WDJD - what did jesus do? !

There is nothing worse than getting a boil on your scrotum (not that i have one at the moment, but i do have a distant memory...) and they just seem to pop up at the most inappropriate time, I remember I was on stage once playing the Kralahome (prime minister) in the King and I and I had to wear this sort of Sumo outfit and the day before we went on I had a huge boil come up on the top of my thigh nearly at the buttock area, no amount of concealer would hide it so there i was backstage with the poor old costume lady on her knees squeezing my buttock for all its worth to try and rid the area of poison, it actually burst about half an hour before curtain on opening night and we had to write in the script that i had been hit by a stray bullet just in case people were concerned about the mixture of blood and tissue plasma oozing down the leg. The scrotum story doesn't really need to be gone into...yet...lol !

From my blog the other day a couple of people were curious about me walking to the balcony doors unclothed, but its okay the lounge is sunken into the roof so I can't be seen, not that i care anyway...I mean i used to be shy and would always be the last one into the showers so no one else would see etc etc....but when you go into hospital for an op and the doctor unveils your bottom half to 12 student doctors you tend to lose, a) a grip on reality and b) all sense of prudishness...so now I am quite happy to say that I parade at will and on request but nowhere where i can be arrested (except for when trousers fall off in a drunken stupour!)

I've already had a couple of right answers to the blog competition this week so keep them coming...

Its Easter pub night tonight and that means an extension, so if i survive I will be back tomorrow...love you all

...and all that Jesus could think of in his final moments was 'well just one shag would have been nice...'