a tinkle in time does not save nine

...the producer looked around at the empty theatre and realised that they shouldn't have put the fat lady on stage in the first song...

Okay...flocculate a flocculent, isn't that a couple of great words, try using them in a sentence, doesn't it sound sexy! I have no idea what it means and i don't particularly want to spoil the illusion, but i have decided that flocculate will be the word of the day for today...

After retelling or recounting the car park story of the other night i reminisced about the slapping noises that were to be heard and it bought me back to an old favourite subject of mine...that of 'tea bagging', now i only heard about this while watching Graham Norton about 3 years ago, and for those of you who don't know 'tea bagging' is what they call the point when your bollocks slap against the other persons fanny/arse/forehead/chest etc...during an intimate moment. I don't know why its 'tea bagging', i think it was just a made up term by the gay glitterati just to give it a name...so remember now (and try not to laugh) during the intimate moments when your partner starts tea bagging...it means its getting good!...

I am practising a PMA work ethic at the moment...Positive Mental Attitude (and not Post Menstrual Anaemia as Steve put it!), I just feel that now when people moan or complain its a positive thing because we can help them to get the end result that they are after (and then call them miserable cunts under our breath)...well it works for me anyway!

Heard of a great thing happening in suburbia land...after the charity brunches and the bridge parties, a new form of wife swapping is taking place. Its not the old keys in a bowl job but now has to do with vibrating phones...all the ladies at the house put their respective mobiles on vibrate and discreetly place them in the lady garden area. They then put their telephone numbers in a bowl and the fellas get to choose a number, the fellas phone the number and the lady who squeals goes off with them to swappie heaven to enjoy all sorts of plushie things!...whatever next...

Hope you all had a good weekend...have been enjoying Casanova on BBC3, very bloody funny indeed and the guy that plays young Casanova is marvellous...if you haven't seen it watch out for it on BBC1 soon...its a very sumptuous affair!

...Mindy had just managed to fit Chavs other bollock in her mouth when the cabin crew told her that the mile high club was meant to take place in a toilet...