It's life jim, but not as we know it...

...andrew thought his family was screwed up because his parents had bought him a fully inflatable party sheep with realistic hole for his 18th birthday...


Woo hoo...NTL kindly put me on 3mbps broadband today, its running at 2.4 mbps at the moment , but wow is it fucking fast!

Thanks to Lisa for the blog yesterday, I have been exploring the possibilty of buying a badger costume for when she comes round next, but at 600 pounds a time she may have to settle to two fur cushions sellotaped to dustbin bag. The enema thing was not nice and i really couldn't think of anything more horrid than someone spraying me with god knows what out of their arseholes!..thanks for the imagery lisa! I will be asking Nicola if she will be next weeks blogette and will let you know if i have a guest or not...if anyone wants to write a blog page just contact me at the normal place...

Once upon a time in clubland there was a dj and video buyer who used to work for Virgin (have you guessed who it is yet...yes its me!) and used to have wild party nights at the star bar @ Heaven (when Branson used to own it). It was a regular thing to see a 'Tainted Love' singer hanging around outside the blokes toilets allegedly touting his trade and following guys into the nearest booth...it was here that the 1st ecstacy tablets were seen around London in 1987 and boy it was debauched, an audio visual extra sensory experience with the soundtrack which included Adamski's Killer...it was the crunchy sticky carpet which showed the sins of a thousand nights, semen, sweat, beer and puke all merging to create an authentic clubbing smell...it was here that I got off with a famous kids tv presenter and discovered that fellatio wasn't an italian pasta after all...it was here that hunky young gigolos used to hang around the bar waiting to turn tricks with the VIP's in the Star Bar...I saw too many singers off their faces to name them all and not enough money to cover the libel suits that would follow...it was the atmosphere downstairs that counted with the pretty boys go go dancing to attract the one night conquest that would follow...'Blue Monday' exploding around the floor...it was attractive middle aged guys walking round with their knobs hanging out of their trousers, hoping that some stud would come and kop a feel at some point during the evening...it was hedonistic, with speed being thrown up peoples noses left, right and centre, but it was a time and place that had to exist for that moment...it simply was 'Heaven!'

Gina has just emailed me and given me an idea that has got my creative juices flowing...you will just have to wait and see...

...and thats when lisa realised that she had caused a riot at the local toys r us outlet...