clang clang clang went the trolley!

...Benji pulled on the cord and watched while the lions cage door opened in front of him...

hi all and thanks for the first couple of entries to the competition, one right and one wrong so far but thanks for entering!

I have just heard about someone whose marriage has just lasted two weeks and they are now filing for divorce, after having known each other for about 14 years...the woman has said that her husband has changed in those two weeks...Hmm, living in seperate flats before marriage...think about it love, perhaps it was living with you that was the problem?...God forbid it should be your fault.

anybody see the 'banned' programmes on channel 4 last night, all the explicit bits you missed off tv ever...it was great fun, an orgy of excess from the Sex Pistols swearing on live tv to the performance artist who ate foetuses as an art installation. The series carries on tonight and promises to be a most derivative collection of documentaries on the subject of censorship and public perception. The films that they have chosen are pretty good examples of extreme, ranging from 'evil dead' through 'a clockwork orange' to 'kids', all films worthy of your time...enjoy! www.channel4.com/banned

Why has death become such a taboo subject in modern life?...people used to celebrate death in earlier times and in fact right up to the 1950's in Northern England where it was the norm to have major processions from a village to the final resting place of a local. Death is now talked about in hushed tones and is all so very clinical and clean. Bodies are hardly left in open caskets now unless culture demands that this takes place. I for one am not afraid of death, I don't feel that the day of my death will be different to any other day of the year apart from the fact that i will cease to breathe. I don't want people to grieve or wail, i want people to have fun with my death, party like its 1999 all over again, celebrate me..don't deny me that. I suppose everyone has fears though and this is one that lives in quite a lot of peoples hearts. The two closest fears to me that i can't destroy or push aside are the fear of being alone in my old age and the fear of heights. These two frighten me more than anything else. I have tried to understand why I fear loneliness, I suppose its that i have so much to share with people before i go...I couldn't spend my days without someone to love me or someone to look after and this does break me apart occasionally. I start to panic and i just have to work through it for a few days and then i bounce back, but as i get older each year the panic seems to last longer and i know that one day it will be the end of me...oh human frailties desist!

I want to complain about ladies next, well not ladies in particular but Oestrogen by-products in drinking water. In previous times there was no birth control pills and there was no flushable sanitary products. Men had a higher sperm count...now, each year the male sperm count is decreasing because of the Oestrogen that cannot be removed from water even with the processes it goes through. Think about it ladies...you are possibly ruining your chances of pregnancy...you can't get full term without no sperm! (that will be my campaign slogan)

I feel conspiracy theories coming on...

Can't wait for tomorrow...here comes Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesaa!!

...Mindy thought that she would try the missionary position but the people at the local church weren't willing to help...