Sunday, January 23, 2005

Whoa Neddy, Whoa!

...Jenkins thought it was spiffing that the bigger boys had chosen him to have his head flushed down the lavatory...

Went to the older persons dinner last night and it was lovely, really good has-been singer called Christie Clifford (very vegas show name), was a bit dissapointed with the show frock as it could have been a bit more glittery but the girl had a great pair of lungs on her and sang some lovely tunes. It kept everyone listening and the wine was flowing freely...a couple of my residents had to be carried back over to the court* but all else was okay. (*may have been embellished for dramatic effect).

Trisha...let me tell you about Trisha, and i don't mean the gobby do gooder on ITV everyday. This Trisha is Martins new and very special lover, she is funny, charming and has a great sense of humour but she is a normal woman, so normal in fact that she lived every womans worse nightmare and came back from the toilet with her skirt tucked into her pants. The old boys had a field day on her long walk of shame and I was the only one to point it out. Lots of guffawing and chuckling later Trisha's embarrassment had died down and she returned to being the diamond that she is.

Lisa bought me a book yesterday by the relationship consultants on 'Sex and the city' called 'he's just not that into you', and what a book it is! every guy should own one just to know what women are thinking. It's full of gems such as "breakup sex still means you are broken up", "it doesn't count unless he says I love you when he is sober..." and "there's never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger". It is a fucking marvellous book, available from Amazon and written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccilo. Thats what i will be reading for the rest of the day..

...of course Pipkin was a naughty squirell who kept putting his nuts on display...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Neil, this has got to be your best entry! Helen and I are also reading "he's just not that into you", its fab. Can also recommend "why men love bitches", lookout you single, solvent men, I know now what you want, and boy are you going to get it-last bit was from Helen. Gx

Anonymous said...

Glad Trisha made such an impression last night, and you all had a good time. Love the photo of you and Lisa, see what a good caring person she is, not only does she buys you fab presents, but shares them with her other single friends! Gx

Anonymous said...

Well I thought it was time I introduced myself to the Blog....and the name is spelt TRICIA otherwise known as Tish, Trish, or to my fella....Trish the dish!

Great site you have hear Neil, makes very interesting and funny reading, keep up the good work, although I have to say your creative mind is oh soooo wasted on here. Thought about writing a book??

:-)