Saturday, January 29, 2005

Undeniably scrummy!

...lizzy looked startled as he undressed in front of her, he truly was the holy grail of human sex toys...

An early blog entry today as I thought i would catch my early morning good mood. Today is a bit different. Today I will answer questions that people have put to me over the last few weeks, just to clear the here we go.

Q. How long have you been a muslim?
A. Are you sure you posted to the right blog?

Q. How did you get so large?
A. As a child in Australia I was left in a greenhouse to mature and germinate properly.

Q. Where are your parents?
A. I was kidnapped and raised by an african tribe of small people (because you are not allowed to say pygmys anymore) and then rescued by travelling missionaries when I was seven...Oh sorry, that was the book i have just been parents are in Stafford and are called Shirley and Keith...hmm I wonder how my dad got his name of Shirley...

Q. Can you cook?
A. Yes I can...why do you think I am so large, if I couldn't I would probably look like Caprice.

Q. Do you like your work?
A. Do the words like and tolerate mean the same thing?

Q. How big is your cock?
A. Big enough to shove down your throat if you ask me any more questions like that...pervert!

Q. Somebody said you are a medium, is that true?
A. No, double extra large actually...but if you were talking in the spiritual sense, no, I practice Psychometry but have not yet developed it to mediumship.

Q. Do you wish you had a partner?
A. Yes i do, it would be nice to have someone to share things with and appreciate life with, but if its not meant to be its not meant to be...anyway I would probably stop writing if I had someone else to tell! more for today..

Q. What is your most memorable experience?
A, Oh i think that has to be my first memories of my mum and dad, holding me up, showing me off, their hopes and dreams for the future all in one little bundle of fat...or tasting Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheescake Ice Cream!

...and after the Doctor had lanced Derek's boil the world seemed a much happier place, well for one day in Dereks life anyway...


Anonymous said...

Neil you never answered any of my questions lol Lx

And for those of you who love this blog - I would read tomorrows entry - Neil is taking me out tonight cant say anymore but OH MY GOD!!!!! lol Lisa xx

Now the question is ........................... lol x

Anonymous said...

Hello all,(Lisa & Neil)not many comments today, why is that, oh yes, its the weekend, you have all got things to do, unlike us young free and single souls. Once again Neil, you are on form, my favourites, work/cock and do you wish you had a partner-what a bloody stupid question, hope it was not me who asked you that. Hope you and Lisa had a fab time tonight, did anyone get their bits out? Can't wait for tomorrows blog. Gx (as promised I will sign all of my comments from now on)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Just had a thought, last comment was a little silly, people may write things then sign my name, I dont mind as long as they are nice comments. Please note time, once again I am up very late, how moody will I be in the morning. Goodnight, Gx