Monday, December 05, 2005

The procedure...


hi guys...sorry its another medical blog today but i have just got back from the hospital where i had my colonoscopy. I'm pretty exhausted so will probably keep it a little short...hasten to say...

I arrived at the hospital taken in a chariot on a fair wind by my mate martin and booked in at the reception desk. I was then greeted by the ward receptionist who took me to my room to see if it was suitable! En suite bathroom with a big walk in shower, flat screen plasma tv on the walls and hotel like room service (although i was neither allowed to eat or drink anyhting!)...great so far. In trootted staff nurse tim who was my personal nurse for the day and went through how my day would go, he took some tests and trotted off again...in trotted the anaethetist who explained that i would be given a strong pain killer, two anti sickness drugs and a mild sedative, he was very nice and trotted out again..in trotted Mr Eldin the consultant who explained the whole procedure to me and explained that i could watch on the tv screen if i care to. He also explained that he had a hernia to repair first so would be later for my procedure than i thought, he then trotted out. In trotted the general medical resident doctor, she was sweet and proceeded to put a canula in my vein on my hand to accompany the insulin drip that tim then trotted in to apply. Then came the bad part, I sat there with three hours of television just waiting and waiting to get it over with. I was still ravenous having not eaten anything after 6am on Sunday morning but heigh ho, it had to be done. Other people trotted in to make sure i was alright and then finally it was my time to go to the endoscopy room. I had to get in the bed buck naked and be trollied down the corridir with various private patients waving from their rooms wishing me luck, i forced a smile and was wheeled through the doors where all the nice people who had come to see me were waiting in 'scrubs', plus a couple of new ones who i think were there for the show...i assumed the position on the bed and out came the lube, Mr Eldin described everything he was doing and i felt quite restful after being drugged up to the eyeballs! The tv show then started, the camera moved in and suddenly there they were, my innards on tv, how cool was that. I watched as it snaked its way around the bowel and saw the two offending growths that they found, things got a little hazy at this point but i do remember watching as Mr Eldin cut away the offending growths and started pulling them out of the bowel...somewhere i remember in my subconcious being asked to 'push like you're having a poo' and then out popped said growths...thats all i remember really. I was turned on my back and asked if i wanted to see what they removed, they looked fairly big in their saline solution ands were then whisked away for biopsy. I will get the results thursday after next so have to return to the subject again in about 10 days.
I must say that you certainly get what you pay for at a private hospital and the service couldn't have been any better. They made me rest for four hours and told me not to do anything for the next 36 hours after the procedure and then i was able to be whisked home again on Martins winged chariot. All in all an interesting day, but not one i want to really revisit....to be continued...
Neil x

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad to know you are home xx

mcaretaker said...

Makes your eyes water just thinking about it. Nice to see your back in the land of the living again.