Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Dear Diary...an extra titbitty morsal of goodness...

Dear Diary...
Today I have once again been ransacking and raping my life collection of material objects. Its only 'stuff', yet i have become attached to it and it began to take over my life, I ended up caring more about my material possesions than myself. Loads of memories have gone down the refuse chutes, enrobed in black plastic funereal bags. A suitable colour for the death of ones personality but i aim to renew what is actually important in my life - the whole holistic approach - mind, body and spirit. For the mind I aim to have a more positive outlook on life, rather a 'que sera sera' attitude where' shit happens' sometimes and you deal with it rather than dwell on it. For the body I have decided to try and find love, a love that can be reciprocated, a love that means i wouldn't have waves of loneliness lapping at my feet every so often, a love that would fulfill the needs of the body, menatlly and physically.

Spiritually i aim to explore cultures and beliefs in more thorough detail, perhaps taking in a weeks retreat for free at a buddhist monastery etc, a search for inner peace...i no longer require a life of turmoil. I just feel that there is an empty gap where my soul used to be and if i can find something to plug that gap then i shall become a whole person once again.

As children we have a 'wheel of belief' in our minds which is as big as you can imagine, full of dreams and aspirations. As we get older the belief wheel gets smaller and at the age I am now the belief wheel is hugely eclipsed by the size of the reality wheel...it needs fixing badly.

And so as we approach the first birthday of the blog I announce to the world that I, piddy77, no longer need to hide behind nick names and falsities...my name is Neil Piddock...deal with it!

Neil x

5 comments:

3Steel said...

glad to see you are looking on the more positive side of life!!

3Steel said...

oh! forgot to say there is a very friendly buddhist monastery at conishead priory in Ulverston.

Anonymous said...

As usual all I need to know is have you found love?
I hope you are not expecting us all to come out!
How is Glen, any news? Gx

Anonymous said...

Darling Neil what a great blog and I am so glad you are clearing out my room at last so that I can stagger back to yours on our Friday Drink Nights lol Lisa xxx

mcaretaker said...

Don't just bin it Ebay it, think of all the cash you can mass. It could pay for your membership to the moonies..............Only having a laugh glad your happier