Thursday, December 15, 2005

Cancer - day 1

well...who'd have thought ?....well i'd have thought!...I knew in the back of my mind that today was not going to go well...I went off to the Manor hospital to see the consultant Mr Eldin who did my procedure last week, cutting a long story short I have bowel cancer. wow. hit me like a ton of bricks and his mouth moved in slo mo as he spoke. Thats it starts.
To begin with i will have to have a Liver scan to see if the cancer has spread to any of the nearby lymph nodes, dependant on that he gave me choices as to have surgery whereby he will cut out the offending piece of bowel and join the two bits together again or to not have a surgical procedure and keep an eye on it every couple of months to see if it has gotten any worse. I do not have to make a decision just yet until January but he was sort of promping me to go for the surgical removal, he told me i was still young enough to make the most of this procedure... I am sure I will follow his lead...
The one thing I am not going to do is go into denial about the whole thing, on the other hand I am not going to ram my bowel down everybody's throat (perhaps i should reword that last phrase). ' how do i feel' people ask me nicely...i think i feel like i have cancer I should reply but am not quite sure how that should feel. I know one thing, I didn't waste 700 pounds of my hard earned money studying 'Death, Dying and Bereavement' with the Open University to ignore all the things I should be positively saying to myself. It is hard though....the consultant didn't say anything about chemo so it looks like i now might have to pay to get my hair cut...more soon.
PS...take a look at this we site if you like
Neil x


Anonymous said...

I really am touched by what is going off in your life. Im keeping everything crossed for you as Im sure 1000's others are xxxxxxxxx L:auren

sarcasmus said...

I'm just randomly perusing blogs, but you seem like a nice bloke. I'm sorry about the news. I wish the best for you and hope you pull through. This is such an impersonal existance we live, so I'll just give you a random wellwishing. Take care of your self and keep a positive attitude. You seem to be be taking it in stride. Don't know if I could handle it so well.