Saturday, October 01, 2005
Back on track...some Steve moments
I was walking home from work the other day when i had got around the corner of the north end club i came upon four police constables arresting some drunk tramps, nothing unusual about that i thought until i got home and got the full story from claire, apparently one of the drunks was "female" and had decided to invent a new sport of TRAMP SHAGGING!!! which was taking place on the green by the clapham road roundabout and with it being schools out time there were lots of kids with mothers walking by putting their hands over their childrens eyes.
ooh, enough about that lot yuk!!!! Glad to see neil and lisa got home safely after what sounds like an excellent holiday,( just think you will now be able to swap stories with another colleague when she gets back from her trip), some people have no ideas of their own do they!!
talking of trips, i 'd like to tell you about my first trip to Amsterdam (by national express), we had to get the coach from outside the drill hall in ulverston at 06:00am bearing in mind that my two companions on this tip (Tony and John) and I had been getting into the dutch theme by drinking gallons of Grolsch for most of the previous evening
and were now convinced we could speak dutch!! and proceeded to talk what must have sounded total bollocks to everyone else, john was still drunk from the night before and decided to get something to eat from the kiosk at the bus stand, after this he spent the next fifteen minutes puking in a nearby public garden, we get on the coach and in true laddish fashion head for the back of the bus, but are stopped by a stewardess who said you cant sit there because thats where the shop will be, i said "shop!!!, its a fucking bus for godsake!!" anyway we had to find somwhere else to sit as she proceeded to fill the back of the coach with pop, crisps and sandwiches.
we got to london's victoria bus station at about 1:00pm and had to wait for an hour for the bus to Dover so we found a nice spot to sit as it was a nice day rolled a couple of joints and got stoned, after a while someone said "food" and we all agreed that we were starving so we went to a small cafe` and ate and ate and ate some more.
we arrived at dover after what seemed like an age had gone by at 21:30 and had to wait till 23:00 to board the ferry as we were on the midnight sailing to zeebrugge, so while we were waiting we went looking around the shops, we were approached by two men in uniform and were asked our names, addresses and where we were going?we said why?, they said that we fitted a discription they had of some french drug dealers!!! , i said well we are obviously not french are we? and they walked off still in search of their quarry.
we boarded the ferry at about 23:30 a little nervously as the ferry was the spirit of free enterprise, the sister ship of the ferry that had sunk at zeebrugge three weeks previously, and we could hear people saying, "oh, this is one of those roll on roll over ferries", it was quite surreal watching everyone run to the bow when we were leaving port to see if the bow doors had closed, we were not bothered though as we just sat on deck with spliffs in hand watching all the other ferries pass by lit up like christmas trees, after a while we decided to go inside and get something to eat and watch the film that was on (first blood) but we could not see much of the film as the screen was covered in subtitles in about ten languages, after a while we crashed out on the floor and slept for about three hours.
we arrived at zeebrugge at 06:00 cet and eventually got to amsterdam at 09:30 cet, as soon as we got off the bus we were confronted by a stoned American guy asking if we needed a place to stay, we said yes we do, he just said, follow me!, he led us to a small establishment called of all things "hotel croydon" it was next to a coffee shop called "sheba", we went in and looked around and we soon realised that he had brought us to a brothel, the rooms were ok and cheap £3.00 anight so we decided to stay as we did not have that much money. night time came and we decided to go out for something to eat we found a place called "the wall" an excellent place that was dedicated to pink floyd, we scored some blow and bought some space cake and space bon bons, we never left this place all night as the music was ace and basically could not walk very far if you know what i mean!! eventually we had to make our way back to the hotel, an interesting walk to say the least, half dressed ladies in shop windows, guys selling cocaine on street corners and the all night sex shops were an eye opener, as we got close to the hotel we bumped into the american bloke again he said do you like the hotel, we said its ok, then he tried to make us give him money for finding us digs we said fuck off!! and walked on by to a bar next door to our hotel, he followed us in, we were at the bar having a drink when this guy said you owe me fucking money, at this point the barman jumped over the bar and threw the bloke out saying dont bother my customers!,we had our drinks and went back to the hotel,
we did not get much sleep that night as the rooms upstairs were being used for "personal services" and some of the noises that were coming from them made you cringe.
as we couldn't sleep we told jokes and played guess the theme tune for what seemed like hours i can still remember the tune from hawaii five o was sung over and over. erm memory is getting a little blurry here so i'll finish here and think about it for next week!....................................steve..x
ba ba baba ba ba bababa ba!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by piddy77 at 11:38 PM