Thursday, October 27, 2005

....splat!...splat!....splat!...but what was it?

If I do over the speed limit in this country odds are that I will get caught. Well that’s the official line, and judging by the number of speed cameras up and down the country it’s probably an odds on bet. In contrast in the land of the free you can drive for mile after mile without even the sniff of a speeding fine. According to all those movies that we are fed from America there is a law enforcement officer behind every road sign and in every lay by.

Actually talking of law enforcement I was listening to the radio the other day and as I was half listening to a show I heard some one give the reason that the police in this country are held in such high regard by the rest of the world. In this septet isle the jolly of bill are there to “uphold the peace”. Whereas in the states the police exist to “enforce the law”. It’s a subtle difference granted until you actually start to thing what it means. Go on just take a few minutes out and think it through. Ok now on we go. Well its just not true, just like the fact that the speed limit is 55mph. Actually the Americans have a much better system for organising there speeds than we do. This probably has something to do with the extra space that they have. This lets face it is a major reason that most get away with cruising at way over the speed limit all the time.

As I am sure you are all aware during September I was over in America on holiday and with the aid of Marie’s excellent map reading in the time we was there we covered nearly 3000 miles. 3000 miles and only one speed trap. 30 miles is about the limit from my front door before I get nicked by the fuzz. And not even a real man but one of those lets make money and pretend it’s in the name of safety Gatso things. So as with everything in the states it’s bigger. No man with a hairdryer oh no. They CH”i”Ps use a plane. And they don’t creep up on you either, for the 10 miles before you hit the trap there are signs everywhere. “Speed trap coming up” or “This speed restriction will be enforced”. So there really is no excuse not to slow down to avoid there fine. No points on your licence over there that might stop you driving and. If you can’t drive you can’t function. After all not having an accelerator pedal welded to your right foot is worse that having your cock chopped off in the eyes of most drivers. So if you’re daft enough to speed when the police almost plead with you not to I suppose you deserve the book thrown at you. As I said everything is bigger, the plane circles and picks out any cars going over the limit. For the duration of the trap there are police cars all along the shoulder. As soon as they get you description it’s you’re nicked and hand over the credit card. Simple efficient and typically American.
Matt x

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