Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The REAL christmas story...


Well another week nearer to Christmas or should we rename that Winters Day making sure that we are all PC correct and not offending anyone.

So now the deluge of `Winter` adverts on the telly you cant get through a single programme without the complimentary showing of all things `Winter`. The only thing that gets me about the ads is the fact that they show something that is not real in most households up and down the breadth of England – families having a good time, exchanging gifts and then sitting down to stuff there faces and fall asleep. Most households are one parent families struggling to buy presents that are advertised on the telly’s that they have brought on tic last year and are still paying off! And its hardly happy families for most people more Divorces, Domestics and tears are heard up and down the country on that one-day then at any other time. So you would think that the adverts would be more real, but that would not sell the dream would it.

And if you are single it’s the worst time of your life (well for some) it’s a time to think about wishing you were with someone to open presents with and share the day with to make it seem a bit different from the rest of the year.

Ok `Winter` rant over J If you are feeling sorry for me don’t I happen to be someone who loves Christmas whether with Family or Friends or home alone watching the usual suspects that are shown every Christmas. But I know lots of people who find this time of the year nothing special from the young to the old.

The last couple of years have been the best Christmas`s I have had spending them with people I love very much and enjoying good food, wine and company. Lets hope this year will be no different.

Anyway lots of fun times to be had before that day draws nearer so see you all soon

Love Lisa xxxx

To: All Employees From: Management Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council). 1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged. 2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill) 3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug." 4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house. 5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25. 6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines. In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Christmas!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great blog Lisa, thanks. It's only bloody November and I've already had enough of Christmas for this year! Yep, you've guessed it....I hate it. lol!!!!!
Seriously, every word is true, how many people really have a fab day? How many little ones, really have a great day? How much debt to people run up?
I think when 7 yr old grows up, I am going to become old and miserable and ban Xmas, tempted to do it now, but unable to cope with disaproving comments from family and friends.
Happy New Year Gx

mcaretaker said...

Sounds to me like you already have become old (in spirit) and miserable. The trouble with Christmas is the exspectation alway is greater than the actual thing. So disapointment is inevitable. I hate to say it but like everything in life you only get out what you put in.(And we know Gx does not get it put in much these days Sorry lol) Oh and I make a point of always refering to christmas lights,Black sheep, The seven dwarfs, and anything else the Pc lobbie tries to change.

Anonymous said...

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?

His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.

And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose

And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

Anonymous said...

Thanks Matt, I left myself wide open didn't I. Gx

piddy77 said...

i just love that poem!...