Modern Day Management Techniques...
You can really confuse the staff by paying well but treating them
It's harder to leave and really screws them up.
Make sure that you notice and comment on every little error your staff
But don't ruin it by thanking them when they do a bit extra or
Prepare well for the Annual Review
A really good trick is to make no comments all year and then make some
major criticism at the annual review.
This can save a fortune on your salary budget.
Some staff can be difficult to deal with
i.e. they are bigger than you.
Avoid confrontation - Moan about them behind their back.
Operate an "Open Door" Policy
Say stuff like "My door is always open, if you need help". When the
staff come pestering, try one of these tactics:
"I'm just off to a meeting"
(Actually, as a manager, you should be in meetings all the time)
Keep looking at your computer screen or writing, while they talk.
They'll soon get the hint.
Make a big promise such as "Leave it to me. I'll get that sorted out
Then forget all about it. Chances are they won't dare bring it up
Top phrases to shut up whingeing staff
"I'm surprised you have time to think about that. The rest of us are
far too busy."
or the more subtle:
"I'm not sure that is what you should be focussing on."
Practice motivational techniques
Managers should never use physical cruelty.
Mental torture is so much more effective (and leaves no tell-tale
Keep Your Staff Informed
Being a manager means that you are expected to feed information to the
Here are some alternatives for dealing with this:
"I'm too busy." They'll find out eventually, via the grapevine.
If you have to get the staff to do something that they might not like
and you can't use any of the techniques above, then try this:
"Well I know this is a pain and I feel the same as you, but the exec
say that we have to do it."
Mmmmm ........see you soon