...wading through all the nipple clips, sasha found the cheeseburger that she had dropped earlier...
I talked to my mum and dad today, not an unusual occurence but today my mum told me my blog was weird!...not funny, not enlightening but weird...hmm its a good job i don't write half the things i think about! Does anybody else think it's weird? Please don't classify me with whacko Jacko and call me weird...I am now sobbing, I want to be known as a shining great wit (a whining great shit, i hear you cry)...weird indeed...i still love my parents though!
I was told a story last night while I was working which I have permission to share with you all. Nigel (a work colleague and 'a friend of Dorothy's') had to get his picture taken when he first worked for our employer so he trotted off to the local photo booth to get it done. He went inside the machine and it was one of those photo booths that had celebrity pictures inside so he sat down to get his required four shot, only then realising that he had pressed the wrong button and out came four pictures of Nigel sat with Ali G !..i nearly pissed myself laughing at this point but he carried on and told me that he didn't know what to do so he went to one of the specialist photo shops that do the passport photographs and handed the aforementioned photo over to the shop assistant and asked if they could cut round him and mount him on photo paper. Well I nearly died, it was just one of those stories that you don't hear very often...thank you Nigel for that tale.
Did anyone know that the Pandas that we have in Britain are having trouble ejaculating? I think this is a most serious issue and it has been kept from the general public, so what I did was phone the Royal Zoological society (no, really) and asked them about the story in 'The Independent'. There reply was that 'yes, the Pandas were having problems and IVF treatment was being tried with fresh Panda sperm from China', what the hell kind of country are we living in when a Royal Society can pay out for fucking Panda spunk from China when Mr and Mrs Duncan in St Albans have to travel two or three counties away to get turkey basted...ohh it makes me cross!
...she knew she was a special girl when she could count up to 13 on her toes...
11 comments:
Hi Neil, a little late today, but I forgive you! First, (sorry Mum), if you think this is weird you have clearly lead a very sheltered life. Now lets write about Nigel, will I ever be able to take him seriously again, photo with Ali G, then asking to be mounted, and he looks like a nice quiet boy, the type you would like to take home to mum. I won't show this to my mum, she would probably say, oh I did not realise that Nigel and Dorothy(x member of staff) were friends, Must go, mum is now coming upstairs, bye Gx
no no no gina you ditsy mare lol...not dorothy ex member of staff...'a friend of dorothy's' ie; The wizard of Oz, Judy Garland etc...bats for the other team etc etc...good god do i have to explain everything! lol
Two things First I think that Gx not knowing about Dorothy is probably one of the funiest things I have read.(You probably need to work for ****)Made even funier if you new Dorothy , Yes I said new she is nolonger with us. Second the Panda is much rarer than Mr & Mrs Duncan (I bet there are hundreds in the phone book, not indangered at all ) and correct me if im wrong but a Panda would find it hard to get a bus across one county let alone two. Ps when I said she is no longer with us you might have thought I ment dead ,no she has just gone into retirment to spend her last days being a burden and a drain on the pention fund. M
i think youve all got the wrong end of the stick, G said that her Mum would say that, not her, and im sure she knew exactly what you were talking about, n (fod)aka ali g!.
whats a pension?????
i didn`t know Judy Garland was a Dorothy - news to me I thought she just liked to hang out with Lions, Tin Men, Scarecrows and a scraggy dog called Toto.
Sorry What do you meen Judy Garland bats for the other team , I didnt see her mentioned in the lineup anyway the test is over we drew with the Australians......Oh I see oz good one lol. Only kiding im not that stupid every one knows Judy Garland bowls for Pakistan !!!!! ha M
Thanks Ali G, I do understand the term Dorothy's friend as it was explained to me a few weeks ago, before then I have to admit I had no idea!!!!!!!!!! I have led such a sheltered life, perhaps that's why I now work in sheltered housing! Must thank Nichola for a fab evening, yes we were working, compiling questions, the food and wine were excellent, not so sure about the questionaire? Nichola if you do log on can you explain the phone sex thing, that was a very spooky moment, thank god(yes I know he does not exist!, see previous logs) that Susan and Lyn seemed to be oblivious to the comment. Love you all, Gx. PS Happy Birthday Matt, HOW OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for reminding me im 40.....M
Wednesday 2 Feb, 17.34, no blog, what's wrong Neil, I will be going to night, nights soon! Gx
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