Thursday, February 03, 2005

Oily yet accessible

...and squidgy laughed his socks off when Bunfrey caught his left testicle on the gatepost...

PHONE SEX...now lets talk about phone sex (now someone is sweating! tee hee), its just one of those things that sometimes happen in a modern relationship. You do a lot of grunting and groaning across a land line or a mobile (with free minutes of course!) and you find out whether you are compatible with each other through your use of provocative and slightly primeval language. Its a great way of finding out what people like in bed before you actually sleep with them (always tape the conversations if you can, only so that you can review and make notes like 1) wants me to call him hettie etc etc)...ladies, you may hear your man shout "now stick a thumb up my arse", this is quite usual, do not panic...men, you may hear her cry "Now flick the feathers faster", again this is usual...you really want to avoid relationships with people who use phrases such as, "Now use the kitten" or " now, quickly, let the glass break", these might be problem relationships in the future. If you are doing phone sex, just be careful, its a wild world of telephony out there!

Matts birthday was a reet ripper of a night...fun was had by all..nuff to say that you will find photos under this blog...

In the car on the way home somebody mentioned something about a Jane Austen diary (I think...or i might have dreamt it), but i got to thinking what sort of things might be in it...Day 1 "I bought a new wimple today, its a bit daring and papa told me it made me look like Joan of Arc (the horrible french lesbian that tried to battle the church), I have put it in the cupboard for later"...Day 2 "Thought of a new book today and it features a very erotic triste between a local lord and an orphan girl, I shall call it 'Fanny its there' , I shall write some chapters when papa is asleep"...Day 3 "Rode on a horse today, it was most gratifying, now i know why all the ladies tend to have smiles when in recreation"...Day 4 " secretly wore the wimple today while father was out of town and was followed home by a rather manly lady called Tina who works at the iron mine"... and so on and so on...

...it was a very hot day and candice was very disappointed to see a small yellow puddle where her sex butter had previously been...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh bugger, I did not grunt, is that what I am doing wrong, can't wait for the real thing, will be looking again tonight, it's become a bit of a drug!! Sorry can't sign, will give the game away.

Anonymous said...

Hi all just to say thanks for a fab bithday to all those who came out to party. And thank Laren for the Bday wishes. Matt

Anonymous said...

This phone sex sounds fab, I must try it. Gx

Anonymous said...

ooooooo if i give you my number do you think someone will call and grunt at me lol

Anonymous said...

well that would depend what you sounded like!

Anonymous said...

Well thought I would come on a get my daily fix and I am not disappointed lol Lisa xx

PS to the person who wants to know about phone sex I have a number.......... lol dont forget to dial 141 first though xx only kidding I havent the fainitest idea what phone sex is xx

Anonymous said...

Sex with a phone of course , why else would they make them vibrate ????

Anonymous said...

Great blog today, and great pics. Looks like you all had a good time, wish I could have made it.
Now - Phone sex!! What if you had a Party Line would that be Group Phone Sex???
Nichola xxx

piddy77 said...

..."lol dont forget to dial 141 first though xx only kidding I havent the fainitest idea what phone sex is xx

11:19 PM "


Oh yes ...and this comment comes from a girl with stirrups and a webcam attached to her pc screen! lol

Anonymous said...

oh shit the secret is out -