Friday, February 18, 2005

Living in a worm hole

...the moment of panic set in when sheila realised that sweat didn't move from left to right...

Today will be a little blogette as it is Friday and i need to get into happy pub mode...

What is it with you girls and pants...yesterdays blog comments are pants, literally! Pants doing this, child with pants, dirty pants out of jeans like rabbits out of hats, big pants, little pants...enough about pants now, otherwise us boys will start to talk about skid marks and wee stains and thats just from your pants! lol

Lets talk about hospitals, hospital porters in general or lets just call them monkeys (even though that is a bit of an insult). My friend reccounted this tale and i thought it worthy of mention...he was at hospital having his bits looked at (something to do with cutting a testicle open...I was allowed to say that wasn't i? ...sorry R*******.) and the porter was called to shave him down in his nether regions. Now being the sporty type 'R' was already clean shaven and very smooth down there so when the porter arrived he lifted up R's gown and looked. he looked bemused and then hollered over to the sister that R was 'as bald as a bandicoot and that it looked like a plucked chicken'. R was not amused and told the porter to 'fuck off you dimwit', the sister was furious and asked the porter just to take R down to surgery. They trolleyed off and finally reached the place where they give you drugs (only called this because i can't spell aneeeethsstetissts) and R was put under, while he was going under he did have vague memories of his gown being lifted up and people laughing. The op was a success and R came round lying in a ward, the nurses came over to him and looked 'down there' and laughed. R panicked at this and wondered what had happened. He asked for a mirror and to his horror just above his cock was a drawing of a pair of eyes and ears with curly hair, all drawn in permanent marker. His bollocks were the size of small lemons and he looked ridiculous...inside the gown pocket was a little not saying 'never be rude to a porter'...so the moral of the story is beware of the porter mafia, they will win in the end...

Day 391. I have a beautiful baby boy, I think i shall call him Darcy.

Oh i just love these little critters!
http://happytreefriends.atomfilms.com/goodies/play.html

...and when it became dark, Fred became the best sexual athlete God had put on this earth, not bad for a lollipop man...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi darling
Maybe a short one, but you are on form tonight, see you later. Yes Lisa, I have cancelled my date tonight with dangerous! See you after the meeting... Gx

Anonymous said...

Yipee I'm first and second tonight!

Anonymous said...

Well I could say I'm third as well, but why bother as clearly no-one else has. Oh bugger, why am I so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gX

Anonymous said...

Good morning all, had to log on just to check my last comment, as you can see it was at 02.01am. and I have to admit I was a little drunk. Lets hope we don't hear more about that later! Gx