Well it’s Thursday night and this is the first of a weekly column that Neil has asked me to do so hear we go. I thought for our first little outing it might be quite nice to look at something we all have in common, the thing we all use to gaze into the world of Piddy and Blog the computer. Or as I have heard it referred to that fucking thing that never does what it’s supposed to. If that sounds even a little familiar then read on if not or your PC never lets you down then sorry and next week is your turn. (The instructions below should only be carried out on your personal computer and not on any workplace networked pc’s, thank you – Editor)
As you read this you’re on the Internet and probably using Internet Explorer. At the top you will find a number of words in a row, File, Edit, and View etc click on the word “tools” and a little drop down box appears. The bottom line says Internet options, click it and a bigger box will appear. Under Temporary Internet Files you will see “Delete Cookies” click that with the old rodent and then do the same to the “OK” box. Next point and click on “Delete Files” again click on the” ok” button but this time first put a tick in the “Delete all offline content” box. If you have never done these before don’t worry that horrible little egg timer might be there for a while. When I went to a friends house recently to do just this and more her offline folder was so full it took twenty minutes to clear.
Job two find the “My computer icon” it’s probably on your desk top near the Recycle Bin. If not click” start “at the bottom left hand corner of the screen and it will be in the menu that pops up. You are now looking for your hard disk probably called “Local Disk (C)”.Point your cursor at the picture and use the right hand mouse button to click. Guess what a box appears, at the bottom is the word “Properties” point and left click this time. Fuck me another box with a round circle telling you how much crap is stored on your PC pops up. Just beside this little pie chart is a little box saying “Disk Cleanup” Two guesses correct first time with the left button this time. Then tick all those little boxes saying “Downloaded Program Files” and “Temporary Internet Files” etc. Then left click the ok tab at the bottom of the box a small box opens and asks you if you’re sure you want to perform these actions, left click yes and it starts to do its magic. When it’s all done hit the red X at the top right of your page and get on with the rest of your life. What you have just done with these two jobs is clear all the stored muck that surfing the net drops into your PC. Over time this will clog up your system and make your PC crawl along at a snails pace. I would strongly recommend doing these simple things most days to help things run at there best. If you have never done them before, do it now go on. Next week how to build a working model of Neil using only readily available household products and a banana.
Bye, Matt