Matts Meanderings...

For this weeks outing I thought it might be a good idea to look at the General Election. And a few of the issues that come with the inevitable bun fight that happens.
I suppose at this point I should say that I’m not a massive political animal, although I do have a few views as I’m sure you’re about to find out.

Are you thinking what we are thinking is the slogan that the Tories have chosen to plaster all over the front of any lectern you see at a press conference. Well yes I am as it happens. You’re completely fucked is actually what goes through my mind whenever I see it. Of course it’s now way way to late to change. The papers and all those political hacks would have a field day. And lets face it old “There’s something of the night” could never be seen to back down, he has to live up to his past. This is the last chance for one of Margaret’s little yes vegetables to be something other than a joke in the eyes of the public. Well at least they dropped the Vote Blair get Brown slogan, because it turned out the great British people like that. There’s probably no doubt that dear Tone is going to be replaced by Prudence at sometime during the second half of the next parliament. In fact poles have said for some time that Gordon is a much more votable property that Blair. It was probably the single biggest boost the blues could give the reds. Imagine the look on the faces of the Labour Gods sorry New Labour Gods. When they all sat round the fire burning the last copies of clause four just before the off listening to what Lord Campbell has as his plan to slip the voters the Scottish Mickey Finn. When the word comes in that there’s no problem the opposition has already done it for them. Not that the New Tories sorry Labour should rest on there majority, there old faithful are just as pissed off as any chinless Thatcherite, It’s just they have nowhere else to go. What’s the option for the old red army, orange I don’t think so. The trouble is the papers in this country don’t give you a balanced view of what’s happening. The owner will decree his allegiance to whoever he or she thinks is more likely to give them a gong on retirement. And the reporter is sent by the editor to dig up some juicy political in depth tit bit about the last time a minister drank Forty-two pints and crapped in a flower bed. Let’s face it there’s not much to choose between the two or three main political parties. I’m willing to bet that if you gave Joe public a copy of the manifestos of each without telling them which is which they would be hard pressed to tell them apart. And that is probably the main problem today. As each colour nosedive towards the centre, in a bid to capture the vote of middle England. We inevitably end up with a sludge brown colour.

Once upon a time when I was a lad the Labour party all wore red rosettes and sang the red flag at every opportunity Men who smoked pipes and wore unfashionable suits were in charge. And they admitted that the unions ran the country. Tories all wore bryll cream in there hair and pin striped suits and had a mistress in town. But the public has got wise to this, or is it more stupid.
Mr and Mrs Chav want gossip sleaze and to feel that there small little lives mean something. And that’s where papers like The Sun come in, no news, no in-depth analysis, and no factual content of any kind. Just tits. Honestly if you get your information from the Sun and it’s like’ you deserve all the crap that life throws at you. Most of the Sun readers I know are ill informed ignorant small-minded little people. Having said all that I still think that your write to vote is the most important single thing you have. There are many parts of the world where people still die fighting to have what we take for granted. Make sure you use it; you have no write to complain if you don’t.

Let me leave you with a quote from a man called Jonathan Lynne who co wrote with Peter Jay the most cutting and accurate political satire ever Yes Minister. This is from the later years when Jim Hacker had become Prime Minister and is talking in the cabinet office to Sir Humphrey and Bernard about the press enjoy and goodnight.
- ;Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:
- The Daily Mirror is read by.people who think they run the country.
- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;-
The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.
Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."

Matt