yompity yomp yomp yomp

woo hoo...they say that time flies when you are having fun...well...I have also found that time sometimes flies when you are having fuck all fun as well...how amazing is that...one day I'm sat here writing, next thing it's ten days before I come back...I am sure I am living in some time continuum thingy...it's weird, sometimes I feel like I have had a conversation before when talking to a person and the next time they ask me "did you do what i told you.." etc...and I have no fucking idea whatsoever what they are talking about...so I presume that I leap forward in time missing out huge chunks of conversation along the way and spend most of my life in a happy oblivious state...well, thats my excuse anyway!





It's all systems go for our trip to Ullswater, I am now kitted up with a three in one waterproof 'Regatta' jacket and a lovely pair of waterproof yomping boots...can't wait, i feel very butch, all i need now is a wooly hat, thick socks, waterproof leggings and a rucksack...if anyone has seen Mike leighs "Nuts in May" that is how I will look by the end of my Steve "mountain man" macdougall makeover.





Here is a gratuitous picture of Ullswater.



















If you haven't seen 'HOT FUZZ' yet, then you are missing out on a great comedy film...Lisa and I watched it the other night and its very hard usually to make lisa laugh as she is very stone faced! (tee hee x) but I could see hysterical leakage from all angles as we perused the film...very funny indeed with some great performances, especially Simon Pegg who looks very cute in uniform :)

thats it for now, am on holiday for a couple of weeks now so will probably do a bit more writing than usual..no promises though ;)

The Fragile Army

The Fragile Army

the prick of destiny...

Oh I just had to write today because an old friend has turned up...none other than little Belinda Carlisle sneaks through the back door and places a new album in my little kangaroo pouch!

"Voila!" is a terrific album of French chanson (torch songs and tiaras, I like to call it) all sung in French (funnily enough!) with people like Brian Eno on board to make up the band...she now sounds like the smokey chanteuse that suits the album and its full of great arrangements and destraught melodies. Her version of "Ne me quitte pas" is just beuatiful and we have have jaques Brel thrown in and I think a little Aznavour somewhere along the line. Download it now x

Still been in film frenzy mood and I have been holding my own little film festival at home, pity nobody comes :(
What we need is a local cinema that plays all the art house films and films that get a limited release because they are too intellectual for most Americans..I love independent cinema.

I have spent most of the week being shit on from great heights by people who know who they are...I won't say anymore than that, you will have to wait for my Biography to come out...enough to say that the week has been quite stressful and it really makes me sad that I can't lead a happier life when all i want to do is help people less fortunate than myself.

Back to Belinda....she makes me smile, bless me and my little kangaroo pouch full of music...

Arrroooooooooo!

well it's been a few days...I'm well, still not smoking, lisa is trying too but has backslid a weeny bit but we have her back on the right track now!

Went to see Wolfmother the other night at the Hammersmith Apollo, awesome was the word to use, a great sonic blast of dino rock :), they even covered Led Zepellins 'Communication Breakdown' but I wasn't aware of that until steve told me!


Seen some great films as The Oscar frenzy hots up, 'Last King of Scotland' is amazing, 'Venus' is wonderful, if only for that fact that you get to hear Peter O'Toole and Leslie Phillips calling each other 'Farking Cunts'

Life in the Undertaking world is quite fabby and am really enjoying being a chapel attendant in my spare time, it calms me down from the days excitements!

I am searching high and low for low cost walking booties and a kagool (oh how fashionable) for my yomping trip to the lake district in April...I am only going low cost as I will probably never ever wear them again!

Lots of blood letting and sword throwing will take place shortly at work as a rather nice secondment job has been posted that has us all in a frenzy like sharks round a corpse :) I think I may just join in the throng :)

Oh well, I like these early morning chats, thanks for listening but i really have to go and do some work now ....

14 nicotine free days by the way :)

Tears before bedtime

to have something that you have worked on admired by people that you love has a sometimes profound effect on a persons emotions...heres the rub...

Last night we went out on Lisas dads 65th birthday (Happy Birthday!) to a restaurant in St Neots, after the meal we quickly went back to Pip and Steves house so that the family members could give 'dad' their present...it was then that Pip asked me if I had seen the photo yet..I quizically looked at her..Steve then walked into the room with a two foot square canvas which when turned round showed the black and white picture of their son Ethan that I took at xmas (see below)...words can't describe how I felt, I burst into tears, it was really moving for me to think that someone chose something that I had created to be a showpiece in their home. I just feel so honoured and totally ecstatic that I could have pleased the family so much with one photo...they have asked me to do some more now so I already have a few ideas in mind :)



To feel wanted is great, but to feel loved is just the best of all....

Madonna Tribute Special

Tee Hee!

smoke free zone

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It's Oscar Time!

Hi all...the Oscar season is well under way and there are some fantastic films and performances to be considered this year..my prediction is that 'The Departed' or 'Babel' will get best film (both of them mighty fine films) although I am hoping that 'Dreamgirls' gets a look in...I sat down to watch this with Lisa the other night and it is just magnificent. The performances by Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Hudson and Eddie Murphy are absolutely spot on with Jennifer Hudsons version of 'I am telling you' being the highlight of the film.
I hope that the best actress award goes to Helen Mirren for 'The Queen', as for best actor I'm not sure but I think Matt Damon or Brad Pitt might get a look in.

Talking of Dreamgirls you have to watch the clip below, Jake Guylenhaal performs a tribute on Saturday Night Live and it's terrific!



In the real world as the backlash against Tony Blair and the labour government continues we all wonder what we will end up with next...more fascistic policies from the Conservative party or a sitting on the fence party where nothing gets done with the liberal democrats in charge...watch this space. What this country needs is 'real people' in Government, not priveleged people from unreal backgrounds who studied politics at university and think they know what is best for all of us. Until we get this sorted out the United Kingdom will remain a 'second best' country which every other world government turns to for support whenever a crisis appears. The government then waves its hands going 'choose us choose us' like some sort of fucking popularity contest and we end up spending shit loads of money that we as a country haven't got. I think it's time the politicians of this country look to their own doorstep to try and revive industry and actually create a sustainable community off our own backs. Is it any wonder that people emigrate to Australia, America and Canada for much better priced living conditions and a safer living environment. Sort it out!...rant over!

Olfactorial Raving...

well that had to be my highlight of the tv year, although the Captain Jack / Ianto kiss was just as hot in the last episode....how very romantic indeed..great song too (off myspace)

hope you are all aware that it's 'fondle your friends' weekend...I am sure that this is something that the americans have yet again dreamed up but it was in the paper the other day..the theory is that all friends fondle each other so those that don't have partners don't feel left out and we all have one friend don't we?...can't wait!

for those of you into tacky things, 'Borders' through amazon are now selling the 6 disc '20th anniversary Oprah show' dvd collection for £17.99, what a bargain, and it's magnificent it has all the cringey bits that make you cry and all the stars you could shake a stick at...18.5 hours of Oprah goodness, why hasn't this woman been canonised yet...I can see it in 20 years time, the tomb of St. Oprah...how very cool indeed.

We had a meeting about recycling today so I have now come home and decided to pooh into plastic bags so that it can be used again for something useful, but i don't know what yet..Mum, I'm not being serious here, just in case you though I had completely cracked!

I want to try and take some more portrait pictures so if anyone would like to volunteer...all i ask is travelling expenses and I will take as many pics as you want..anything goes!

The bottle of wine is ready and celebrity big brother is calling ( I would like to see Donny's nadgers please Mr Tv producer) woo hoo!

New Year, Same Shit!

Hi all...happy new year and all that bollocks....just thought i'd drop a quick note to let you all know that I'm still alive!

Christmas was as Christmas is, full of fun and good cheer...I didn't see a single live person on xmas day though...I woke up, pottered around, had a glass of port, cooked lunch, went off to work at the undertakers, went home, couple of glasses of wine, bed...and didn't see a sole! Boxing day made up for that though when I was thrown into the throng of Lisas family xmas get together, kids were in full flow and ate too much beautiful food..a great day but Lisa and I were worn out by about 8pm so made our excuses and left...thank you Pip and Steve for a lovely xmas :) You can see some pics on my Flickr site, especially pleased with the black and white portrait of Ethan :)

So excited...David Lynch's new film is almost here...



It looks wild and fascinating, more of the Mullholland Drive vibe going on...the first film that DL has made in Digital Video...salivating and anxious to see it..

Watched Mel Gibson's 'Apocolypta' the other afternoon, fuck me it's fantastic...if you can put up with subtitles the film is just magnificent. Completely filmed in The Mayan language it shows events just before the end of the Mayan civilization...Gibson has done a terrific job..quick warning, it's very very brutal but not unnecessarily so.

I have some plans for some writings which will be coming up in the new year..so keep tuned in!

If you want a camp laugh then play the 'Desperate Housewives' PC game...you get to be a new housewife on Wysteria Lane and try to uncover the secrets of the neighbourhood...what is clever is that the story is decided by what questions you ask or the way in which you speak to people so there are many different paths you can take...it's hours of fun gameplay.

all for now...meep meep!

Xmas message from The Universe...

Happy Xmas all....I had a message from the Universe this morning...what an ego boost lol!...thought you would like to see it...Have a great day, whatever you are doing...

"There comes a time in the evolution of every spiritual being, along that sometimes dark road that leads to enlightenment, when their inner yearnings, struggles and frustrations bring them to a truth that could not have otherwise been realized.

Reaching this milestone was inevitable, for the light that will dawn hereafter is not only what you have summoned, but what all now seek. And with your blessing and recognition, it will bathe those who follow in your footsteps and the burden they bear shall be lessened.

If it's not yet obvious, the real reason for this season is you, Neil. A more perfect child of the Universe has never been born. Until now, only a celebration cloaked in myth and mystery could hint at your sublime heritage and divine destiny.

You are life's prayer of becoming, and its answer; the first light at the dawn of eternity, drawn from the ether, so that the Universe might know its depths, discover its heights, and frolic in boundless seas of blessed emotion; a pioneer into illusion, an adventurer into the unknown, and a lifter of veils; courageous, heroic and exalted by billions in the unseen.

To give beyond reason. To care beyond hope. To love without limit. To reach, stretch, and dream in spite of your fears. These are the hallmarks of divinity - traits of the immortal - your badges of honor, and your ticket onward.

This is the time of year we celebrate Neil Piddock.

Ye-haaaa!
The Universe"

A Queens Speech

Hello my loyal readers...

This year has been an Annus Horriblis for me...The first part of the year was taken up by being engulfed by cancer, hospitals, district nurses and occupational therapy...that was then.

This is now, I'm now zingy and very well apart from a slight head cold. Nothing much has changed in the world though...we still have threats of global warming etc...and now I am meant to look after my carbon footprint, what the fucks all that about. So if i get it right, every time i fly away on holiday I have to plant a tree or something as spectacular to counteract my use of carbon emmisions . What a load of old shit!

Work is good (sort of!) and I'm also looking forward to spending xmas day in the funeral directors. At least they won't be wearing silly hats and blowing hooters...although that could be possibly arranged! (only joking...I never speak ill of the dead!)

A couple of films worth watching are 'Stranger than Fiction' (5 stars) and 'Perfume' (also 5 stars)..if 'Perfume' was released this year it would have been my film of the year but as it's out in January over here in the UK I shall have to wait till this time next year to see if anything has overtaken it.

If anybody has a quandry over what coffee machine to buy, buy a Senseo by Philips...it's terrific and the coffee is bloody gorgeous...you can also ask 3steel about that as he has tried my Sumatran and Kenyan blends :)

Well I will now take the time to wish you all the merriest of xmases and see you all online soon...

xx

Steve Adey

Something great here that went under the net in May...a wonderful album from a fellow midlander now living in edinburgh...'All things real' is a beautiful and iconic album which finds our Steve in the darkest of dark moods (think like a handsome damien rice but less caustic). Everything about the album is terrific, the production values are very high and the arrangements are sparse enough to bring out the purity of Steve's voice.

From the opening bells, the album moves through emotion after emotion, throwing in a bob dylan song along the way...a journey which cannot be interrupted for the 40 minutes of the album. The album holds you and won't let go. You come through the other end and grab the nearest bourbon bottle feeling a little ragged and slightly worn (but in a very good cathartic way!)

I really hope Steve Adey and his marvellous band hit the big time...it's not often I like whole albums these days, but there are no fillers, no remixes...just the bits that he wants you to hear. With promises of loads of unreleased songs I hope it's not too long before the next album. You can buy the album for a most reasonable price from the Harmonium records website or go visit Steve Adey on MySpace...you really will kick yourself if you don't.

googled and moved!

ooh it seems i am now owned by google! (what isn't!)...they moved me overnight and it really doesn't look like anything got broken in the process! (the first move that hasn't!)..so welcome to my new home inside google cyberspace :)

I once nearly met the Queen you know...I was told she had a beard...

Hmmm...since started my part time work in the funeral directors I seem to have picked up an extra tag to my name..its now 'piddy he sees dead people'...it's just a good job that I liked the 'Sixth Sense' as a film otherwise I would be very downhearted :)

Good news is that we have just booked up a nice Easter Holiday up in the Lake District overlooking Ullswater...1000 feet up a mountain, we being Me, Lisa, Steve and Claire plus 2 small people who shall be named as 'Eddie the adventurous' and 'Emily Sunnysmiles'...if you would like to see where we will be going follow the link
http://www.mellfell.co.uk/

Just got the food shopping to do for xmas and thats it now, Lisa and I are working on xmas day so we are having xmas on boxing day with lisas brothers and families...should be fun!

In a perfect world we wouldn't have to have fundraising tv programmes like 'Extinct' which is currently on ITV....gotta love those Polar Bears :)

more soon...

How to screw your bank!

woo hoo!...now if you are like me and have a bank account that takes a mind of itself sometimes then this bit of the blog is for you. Recently a friend gave me a website to have a look at www.moneysavingsexpert.com which is run by a guy called martyn lewis, a consumer rights fighter, and on there was a wondrous link called 'reclaim your bank charges'....in a nutshell it tells you how to claim thte last 6 years of bank charges back off your bank quite legally and there is nothing the banks can do about it!

I followed the instructions and requested the last 6 years of bank statements. I worked out that I had been chrged £545 over that time including interest. I followed the template letter on the site and sent it off to the bank, 2 days later i got a reply saying that the bank charges were fair and transparent!...'however in this case and as an exception they would refund £484 pounds to my account. yippee! Now the reason the banks don't argue with the letters you send is that if it ended up in court they would lose and it would set a precident that everyone in the UK could claim their charges back...so go for it...screw your bank today!

Lisa came round last night and we had a tv ogling session of 'An audience with Take That' followed by the 'Take That Ultimate Tour' on ITV2...it was great to see the boys back and in such good vocal form...the bit of the concert we enjoyed most was when the boys got soaking wet in the stage rain and writhed around...grrrr ;)
Since I was last on the Blog Lisa has lost over 4 stone in weight by following the Cambridge Diet, I'm so proud of her and she is looking more and more fabulous every day...it won't be long before somebody whisks her down the aisle...I just hope I get to be chief Bridesmaid and get to sing at her wedding :)

Had to put up the christmas decorations at work today, they only need me for my height but it looks pretty and I returned happily to my aprtment singing 'Frosty the snowboy' at the top of my voice....onward...

Unrequited love...

I know you'll never love me and this is why I cry

I'll never feel your hand in mine or hear you softly sigh

I know you'll never miss me or notice that I've gone

To me you are somebody, to you I am no one.

I know you'll never cry for me the way I cry for you

I know you'll never want me so what can I do?

I know you'll never think of me, I'll never cross your mind

You'll never waste a thought on me, I'll always find the time.

I know you'll never look for me the way I look for you

Each face I see is different, each man I see is you.

I know you'll never lose your heart the way that I lost mine

They say that time's a healer, to me there is no time.

I know you'll never love me and this is why I cry

Although my body's living my heart is bound to die.

I know you'll never love me.

wyla's worry..

Wyla twittered and hopped around nervously as daemons always do in times of stress and disconcertment..piddy stroked her fondly and told her everything would be fine. He realised now that he would have to follow the prophecy that was given to him and try to evolve to the new lifeform that was promised when humans bounced their energies back and forth to each other...if this meant living a life of solitude for the time being, then so be it....the quest had begun. Piddy knew what he had to do, he closed his eyes and thought of good times when there were people that looked to him for enlightenment and spiritual guidance, his instincts should have told him which way to proceed but his mind was muddled because of the mixed messages that his emotions had caused. Piddy was lonely, he had so much to offer someone and yet he was blind to who that person would be. Wyla cried softly and sat at piddys shoulder like every good daemon should do. Piddy tried to clear his mind but nothing happened...maybe tomorrow he thought....

Madonna - Live Confessions

Woo Hoo!...what a great show on Channel 4 last night, beautifully filmed and edited and a real peak performance. Lisa and I were texting and talking like mad between ad breaks. Lisa called Madge a cow for being so fit at fifty, all I could muster was the suprise that she didn't have a flabby minge when prancing around in her leotard :)
It was great to see the crucifixion scene in full as they edited it out when showing it to our american cousins (yah boo sucks ! and all that)

Just a quick update since we last met, I'm now holding a part time job as well at a Funeral Directors as a chapel attendant, it's a nice job and it's a very positive thing seeing people get closure with their loved ones :)

Still single...another lonely christmas :(

suddenly...

...and suddenly out of a very dark place a chink of light appeared and piddy once more walked into the bright air, blinking his eyes he looked around him and saw the bluest of skies and the friendliest of people. With his daemon wyla at his side he was ready to face the world once again, knowing that whatever happened previously was all a big dream. He shook his head, smiled a little smile and prepared to write the words that would save his life...

to be continued...