Thursday, July 20, 2006

a box on wheels and my cooking ring in me backsack

I was lucky enough last weekend to make one of my regular trips to Newcastle. Because I am married to a Geordi I am lucky enough to go and visit this fantastic city regularly throughout the year every time I visit the north of England I drive up the A1 which is right on my doorstep and therefore very convenient. Between three and a half and four hours later I am in the fare city usually drinking beer but always having a good time. The journey north is always quite a pleasant one but as I drove this last time I became aware of the rather large and frequent problem on the road I am of course talking about bloody caravans.

I have long been known to hate loath and detest the caravan I have never been able to understand why anybody would consider spending money on one, towing one behind there car, or spending a miserable week sitting in it watching the rain come down. My philosophy has always been if god had meant us to live in caravans he would not have invented the hotel. And then another thing struck me as I was driving up the road, for the amount it actually costs to buy one and the extra petrol you going to need towing one you could have quite a few really good foreign holidays.

Why buy a caravan in the first place. It's not as if you can even pull up at the side of the road and park it where ever you like. There are rules and the rules say that you have to park in neat little rose in fields full of porta cabins, wash blocks and proper electric supplies. Then of course there are the people who actually enjoy caravanning, they are best summed up with two worlds Margaret Beckett. Yep she is president of the caravan in association and if that doesn’t some up low rent no sophistication I don’t know what does. A caravan belongs in a strange middle ground on the one hand you have proper camping with a tent and a rucksack, and on the other a hotel with bathrooms restaurants and staff.

People in caravans are too scared of proper camping and too poor to enjoy a hotel (HA HA HA...You are going to hell for that one !.....blogmaster) so they are stuck in this strange middle ground in a time warp of 1953. Then of course we come on to the damage that caravans actually do to the road, or rather everybody else on it. If ever there was a case for legislation then caravans deserve it. They should be banned from travelling during the hours of daylight and if you are going to tow one you should have to have a car capable of sustaining a decent speed. Since I started driving in 1982 I have probably sat behind thousands of traffic jams caused by people trying to pull their latest purchase with a 1973 Austin allegro. And for all I know some of them are probably still on the same journey. Come on this is the 21st century we have New Labor and vicious health and safety laws people can't fart anymore with out a license. How come no one has sorted caravans yet. There a throwback to an era that should be forgotten.

This blog was planned and written (Yes I know it’s hard to believe but its true I do think about what I write) before the edition of Top Gear was aired on Sunday. But I suppose it just goes to show that great minds all hate caravans.
Matt x

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