As promised the saga continues. Just to recap Son, GCSE’s, Bribe (Sorry incentive), Laptop, Wrong laptop,
Part two When I got said electronic fun box home and opened it up it was the wrong model. Well the box said it was the correct one but the contents were not as advertised. Piss, Fuck, Bugger, Wank. Can’t get hold of the help desk there shut? Not bad I think for a 24 hour operation. Spend ten minutes looking at the web site and find that sales are open every minute of every day but customer support. Fuck off no chance take your money yes but help in a crisis!!! Bastards. I calm down as we have friends around that night with booze and too much Pink Floyd loud in the garden.
The help desk opens at 10am. On the dot I’m dialling and a young lady with a northern accent and too much training answers, poor her. It takes her approximately 20 seconds to work out that I am in no mood to get anything other than my own way. I explain the problem very very politely and refuse even to raise my voice above a nice happy contented tone. Even though deep down I would happily spit roast her unborn child and set light to her uncle’s testicles if I thought this was going to get my problem resolved any quicker. The main problem seems to be there total lack of belief about my story. They seen totally convinced that they could never make such a basic mistake as the wrong thing in the wrong box. Well they did and I have the proof even though it’s not the proof I ordered.
After being asked to read various code numbers from the box and the machine the nice but dim girl started to back track ever so slightly. “Can we ring you back “she said “I need to talk to my manager and another department”. Ok when will you phone me back? “Within the hour” the young girls reply. I’m inclined to disbelieve things like this at the best of times, but one has to keep an open mind. I stand corrected the young girl who I now know as Lisa is back within ten min’s. “Hi Mr Hunt” Please call me Matthew. I’m so shocked that a company has kept a promise that I’m caught quite by surprise. “Ok hi Matthew we can do something about this for you “Fucking fantastic (Not out loud).”We have two ways to do this” Ok. “You can buy another and send back the old one and when we get the old one we credit you back the cost of the new one”. And what’s the second because there’s more chance of my wife being able to wax successfully (In joke) than me handing over more money to you. “We send a courier out to pick up the one you have and when it’s back we send out the replacement”. That’s better Lisa when will I .get the new one as you know I need it by Friday Pm (it’s Wednesday morning). “Matthew I promise that it will be with you before 5pm Friday Trust Me”. Oh I want to but it’s cutting it tight. I’m also reluctant to let them take back something I have paid for without crediting my account. Or giving me anything in fact. Lisa is obviously good at reading a situation and say “Trust me” again with just a hint of eastern promise if you know what I mean. Well into the blue. And let’s face it what choice do I have. I need this sorted and there is no other alternative. Ok I say feeling like I have just asked Glenn Close to look after my pet bunny.
About 3pm that afternoon a man in a van picks up the wrong box. Well the correct box but the wrong contents keep up. Wow I’m dancing in heaven and the world is beautiful. Nothing to do now but wait.
I can’t wait Thursday lunch time and I’m on the phone to Lisa just to see if they received the box. “Yes Matthew” says Lisa, with a kind of I told you so in her voice. God was I that much of a problem yesterday. “No” says Lisa “We don’t have that many problems and we are quite a small company”. I don’t know if it’s true but Ill buy it, any one who can remember me like that has got to be great. “It will be with you tomorrow I promise” Lisa says. Wow I want this girl at the end of every phone number I dial. I put the phone down and think about the great service and then remember that I don’t actually have the box yet let alone the contents.
Shit isn’t reality a real cunt sometimes. But I need not have worried the next day Lisa lives up to her promise and it’s here and it’s the correct one.(Thanks Marie and Gina) They risked life and limb stalling a City link man in the middle of his round to check the inside to make sure. And thank you to Lisa where and who ever you are as customer services is a free phone number. But I have emailed your boss to tell them what a great person you are and how helpful you were.