Confessions of an undertakers assistant...

yip yip coyote....howdy all!

1.Whats been happening?....well the truth is i got too lazy too write! I know, how sad is that! Every proper gay guy should be ready to share all his salacious gossip at the drop of a Jimmy Choo. I'm back though and will catch up with you all on a more regular basis....first of all I have a guy in my life who is still 'the one' and i really don't expect that to change anytime soon. His name's Mike (for those of you who haven't met him) and he really is heaven and earth to me. we are very opposite but neatly entwined and it works really well because we can learn from each other and teach each other different aspects of lives rich tapestry :) He's funny, witty, charming and I really can't wait until we get our lives together and 'together', if you see what i mean!

2. The Goat and the Ambush tree.

Once upon a time, in a land that was barren and dry, there lived a goat...we shall call her Emery. Emery was 3 years old and had lived the life of a goat as only special goats do...she woke up in the morning, udders pulled and milk drained she trotted up to the highest point of the land and began her daily song...the song was a rather raucous affair and all the other goats frowned at her accordingly. For us humans it was like putting whitney houston and barbra streisand in the same room together to see who could sing the loudest, understand? Emerys song went on for about 10 minutes until Kelvin (the little boy goat from downland) kicked a stone at her which shut her up. She scowled and went on her business of munching at all the bushes and berries that she could find...these were daily events for Emery until one peculiar and rather unsettling day, something changed... (to be continued)

3. Fuck me I've really missed talking about films...I have watched so many since we talked last that i don't know where to begin...so i won't! I will start afresh with new releases as from today. The first one that i watched last night was "License to Wed"...it was a monday night so i needed something fluffy to watch, and fluffy it is indeed....it's a rather nice comedy starring Robin Williams and Mandy Moore. Yes Robin Williams pulls the old faces and mannerisms but the part of Father Jack really suits him and it turns out to be his best work in a long time. Mandy Moore brings style to the proceedings of this feel good film that is just right for a girls night in. The story isn't very taxing, Father Jack sets the couple a test before he will marry them to prove that they really do love each other, but the jokes are thick and fast and the supporting cast bring a whole lot of fun to the frothily light storyline. Its a 7/10 from Piddys Place.

4. Alison Moyet is a goddess...just check out the new album which has just been released called 'The Turn'...its so so wonderful...which is more than I can say for the feminist bleatings of Annie Lennox on her latest release...I really wanted to like it but the girl power thing just got a bit too much for me by the end of the album, it's pleasant enough but don't expect the genius that was 'Diva'

5. Russell Brand in 'Ponderland' ...Channel 4....genius :)

If you feel you would like to complain about the content or the style of writing please don't bother, as I'm really not interested what you fucking think or do with the stuff that i write...even if you print it off and use it as toilet paper, at least i have made one arsehole happy....ciao x