Thursday, November 05, 2009

I blame Aretha Franklin...

Although I love Aretha a lot there were two episodes in my life where she was responsible for my heartbreak.

Number 1. The break was the first time I had had my heart broken by a guy and you always seem to remember the first time more than the many episodes after!. The guy I loved was all that I wanted in a person, he to me was the sun, moon and sky...for a brief moment my world revolved around him and only him, we laughed , we cried, we shared our lives and each other...and then one day he went away, a note on the table was all i got..." you know how much I love you, but I have now decided that I love you too much...and that scares me. You need someone in your life that you can rely on completely. Don't look back with heartache but look forward with anticipation for the people you will meet in future...I love you..." and with that he was gone. I turned to the music box and played the following song 'what a difference a day makes' and wept for a while. Of course I got over it, but that song was never the same for me afterwards.

Number 2 . My friends death...It was a winter and I had a friend who was hemophiliac and had just had a full blood transplant, it was the early 80's so yes, you can probably guess what happened, the HIV virus took hold when it was an unknown quantity and for the following year I watched him deteriorate into a shadow of his former self. Every day was a struggle by the end of his life and I am ashamed to say that I was a lot younger and didn't really know how to deal with death and dying at that point in my life, so I slowly backed away from him until there was the barest of contact at the end. His mum chose this song for his funeral ' Try a little tenderness' , I don't know why but it just seemed right. Looking back I would have played the scene out differently, but as they say hindsight is a glorious thing...
Damn you for your fine voice Aretha..



Anonymous said...

Awwwww what can one say.. "Dont be sad just think of them and the good times you had never gone forever just asleep for now"
Lovers come into our klives for many reasons... Some to teach us some to learn from us.. Life will aways be and continue to be a learnind experience unfortuneately somtimes that has to hurt.. Bless you Neil (((((((((Neil))))))


Anonymous said...

What a lovely blog - we all have special people come in and out of our lives and they always teach or leave something behind, we may not always see it then but when we look back later we realise why it happened. I am so glad I have you and Martin in my life always you both mean the world to me - we three may have our ups and downs with each other but know we will always be there for each other xxxxxxx Lisa xxxx