Hi folks....It's taken a while but i can finally write about the latest chapter in my love life...to put it bluntly I have just wasted one whole year of the life I have left. I spent this year 'loving' someone who, in the end, seemed to not love me at all...this bit of the blog isn't going to be about me bleating on about broken hearts etc...yes i did/do hurt but it's my own fault for not looking at the relationship properly while it was taking place. Mike, I believe, was a good person at heart but was scared of facing the world with what he thought was his dirty little secret (namely me!)
He kept telling me over and over again that he would tell his family and friends about our relationship, but he never did...I was the opposite, I put him on a pedastal and showed him off to my friends and my family, everyone in my world knew I was in love...nobody in his knew anything. He was looking for other jobs around the country and none of his plans included taking me...I, on the other hand was firmly ensconsed in a bijou terrace for two looking out of the windows in my rose coloured glasses waiting for my man to return home after a long working day.
You know what's really sad is that we did some really fun things but I don't have a single photograph of us together that I can look back on as I get older and think what might have been.
I suppose another thing that doesn't sit right with me is the dishonesty he has with his religion. Mike is a minister and regularly preaches his sermons in church...I'm confused though, what right does he have to preach to people about honesty and integrity when he can't follow those rules in his own life. I suppose that is his own battle that he needs to win, nobody else can do that for him.
It's probably time to give up on partner hunting now, I can't let myself get ravaged by hurt and anger anymore, it doesn't do me any good.
I'll miss him...